Singles, Dating and Relationships – 7 Summer Tips for Singles

product-bundleHere are seven summer tips for singles. See which ones you can apply to make this your best summer ever!

Selfishness – Really, I get to be selfish? Well, that depends on what you mean by selfish. If you mean always putting yourself first with complete disregard for others, then no. What I do mean is basic self-care, which means taking care of yourself. You only get one of those machines called a human body, you know. Treat it like it has to last a lifetime.

Selflessness – I bought my sons their first dog a few months ago. I’ve never seen a more selfless animal in my life. Buddy is so into the boys when they are with me and keeps looking for them when they are with their mom. Whenever I leave the room, Buddy follows me and waits for me in that room. Where in your life is your focus so completely on others and your service to them that you forget about your own troubles?

Solitude – There are two words for the state of being alone. One is solitude, which can be a really good thing. The other word is lonely which is not a good thing. I’ve noticed in my 49 years on the planet that there seems to be no lack of people around, especially now that I live in the Atlanta area. Makes me wonder sometimes if in the final analysis that being lonely is a choice at some level. Unless of course you are stranded on a remote island like Tom Hanks in the movie “Castaway.” But even he created Wilson to keep him company.

Success – If you do not define success on your own terms, the culture will define it for you. Our culture would have you believe that if you are single and not in a relationship, you are somehow unsuccessful. Strive for intimacy with a special someone if that is what you want, just make sure it is defined as success on your own terms.

Someday – Pull out your calendar and do a little experiment with me. My calendar has Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then begins again with Sunday. What about yours? As hard as I look, I can never ever find a Someday. Yet we live our lives as if we really believe there is a Someday out there. Turn your Someday into Today and do something you have always wanted to do.

Someone – We are designed as social creatures. It’s how we are built. So it is therefore only natural to look for that special someone. Keep looking, even if you have to interview many, many people for the position. Keep looking, and don’t settle. There is someone out there for you, and always remember that it only takes one.

So now what – The best quote I have heard all summer came from Jack Canfield, co-author of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series and author of “The Success Principles.” In an interview with Alex Mandossian, Jack Canfield said, I believe only partly tongue-in-cheek, “Here is one way to look at what you will do with your life – Congratulations, you won the sperm race. Now what?” In other words, now that you are here, now that you have the privilege of life, what are you going to do with it? Whatever difference you were born to make, why not get started this summer? Why not get started today?

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Until the next time.  Keep bloggin…Scotts Link!

Is my mate cheating on me?

He gets home later and later each night and it’s starting to get old.  He can’t even look me in the eyes so I know something is wrong.  Should I confront him or should I stay silent.  What is he up too.  I’ve given h110897im so much of me, how much more does he want.  I decided to take my friend’s advice and order this product that she swears by.  I don’t know if it works but I’ll try anything at this point. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

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Love for One or Love for All?

3DMainBookWell, I guess that really is the question right? We’ve all seen movies like The Notebook or my all time favorite Titanic — even though it had a very sad ending nonetheless it’s a love story. Love is powerful so powerful that it really does affect your emotions from being really happy one moment to sad the next. It seems like each year the love I have for my husband gets stronger by the year, by the day, or better yet by the hour. See that’s the thing I personally love for one and then I love for all so there are no sides.

Let me explain. I have been in love since I was a teenage girl with my husband for a very long time. I have loved all my life. There’s a slight difference of course. I remember listening to those old soft jams late at night that made my heart melt. I’m what they call the hopeless romantic. I believe one can be happy if he/she is in love. I’m not saying that you can’t fall in love over and over again, I actually hear you can but there’s always that one special guy/girl that takes your breath away. Now the downfall is, just as much as you love them you could hate them just the same.

That’s where the power of love comes in many shapes of emotions. You know how one day you’re in a really good mood but then one little thing could turn your smile into a frown? Love works just the same. Think about that night you got so angry at your spouse, or boyfriend, girlfriend, etc and you said the most meanest thing ever. Whoa now, how could you say you love that person so much but yet you hit it, right where it hurts. Well, there it goes again the shapes of emotions. Some days you will feel head over heals and other days you’d actually feel sad or distant but that doesn’t mean that you’re not in love anymore.

111378Now when you love for all you’re loving everything about your life. Your family, your friends, your accomplishments, your favorite TV show, etc. But just like being in love you will go through the shapes of emotions and some day you may hate those things. Love isn’t something you just say and go on about your day. Say it to yourself one evening while sipping on your favorite beverage and watch how it just rolls out of your tongue and the feeling you get when you say it. Everyone wants to be loved, and be in love as well. The point is, there are going to be days where you want to give up and sadly throw it all away.

But you should never take advantage of the power of love because love is a part of life. I don’t know maybe one day you decide to give up because your ego got in the way or you’ve fallen in love with someone else. Or sadly maybe the other half fell out of love with you — hey it happens. You just have to continue living life and loving all around you because without love you may be lost. Remember this saying by Alfred Lord Tennyson:

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
In the meantime, we need to hear your comments.  For now,  keep bloggin and I’ll see you at the TOP!!!

A Relationship or Sex? How to Tell if You’re Date Wants a Relationship Or Just Sex?

You are in a new relationship. You’ve met him online or in a club or in line at a grocery store. He is cute and his personal hygiene meets your standards. You met your circle of friends for lunch and all five of you discussed his looks, occupation and intentions. Your circle of friends trusts each other to give advice on fashion, dating, love and relationships issues. Your friends say that he sounds like a dream date.111367
However, your guard is up; the last several relationships you’ve been in were a chain of disappointments: one gentleman you’ve dated had another ‘girlfriend’ at the same time he was seeing you. Another man you’ve dated for a while said he was divorced but he was not; he was married. The last attempt you’ve had at dating involved a great deal of alcohol and nearly ended up in date-rape.

You’ve made a decision: ‘I will not be dating men who are interested in sex only. I will only date men who are emotionally ready for relationships, intimacy and love. The next time I will be in a relationship, it will not be about sex, it will be about trust and intimacy.’
This is a good decision, especially for someone who got hurt in past relationships and is afraid of the future experiences with men.

Now, how will you determine, early enough in the relationship, if the man you are dating is interested in getting to know you and developing a relationship with you? Or is this just another sexual opportunity for him?

Here are some tips and behaviors that describe interest in sex vs. relationship during the first couple of dates or early on in the relationship:

When a guy is interested in the details and stories of your sexual history on the first and second dates – he is interested in sex…

Your date is commenting obsessively on body parts, yours and other women – he is not into relationship – he is into sex.

If /when he tells you details of his own sexual history, too soon into the ‘relationship’, even under the guise of confiding, he is interested in sex.

Consider his ability to maintain eye contact with you. If he is very shy and cannot maintain eye contact, he’ll look down at his shoes or at the floor. However, if/when he speaks with you and keeps focusing on your breasts and following your breasts with his eyes, even as you move around – it is a red flag: he is not shy and he is not interested in really getting to know you…

Also, If there is spontaneous touching, which you feel is inappropriate – it probably is.
Not all relationships start like the examples above. Most dating relationships begin with interests to see and get to know each other. For the women who got hurt in relationships that turned to be sexual encounters only, being strategic and mindful is a way to continue to date… carefully. And that’s all I have to say about that.  In the meantime, send us your comments.  We want to hear from you.
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Don’t Go….There’s More to Come…..

Love and Marriage – Get the Marriage Help You Need by Seeing the Big Picture

Single red rose flowerWe want things. We don’t want to wait. We want it all now.

This short article is about making a marriage or committed relationship work over the long haul, and shows you how to satisfy the relationship needs of the moment.

Recently someone told me he wanted “the world’s greatest marriage . . . right now!”

I told the young man he couldn’t possibly have the world’s greatest relationship right now, but he could develop a world-class relationship in time . . . if he and his spouse were willing to make the effort.

Yes, you can have fast food any time you want — just drive to your local Wendy’s or KFC and fork over a little cash. What you’ll get is no gourmet meal, but it may taste okay.

It’s the same with relationships. They can be pretty darn exciting in the early days of infatuation, and work pretty well . . .but only after many years can they reach their zenith.

1. It takes time for two people to get to know each other really, really well.

2. It takes time to learn how to conduct a relationship well.

3. It takes time for each partner to grow and mature, for each to become his or her best.

4. It takes time for a couple to overcome certain problems or barriers they may face… barriers that stand in the way of relationship success.

Only in time can we develop staunch wisdom and great inner strength . . . the wisdom and strength needed for us to see the big picture in our relationships. And to find the marriage help we need within ourselves. In many cases, this maturation process takes decades!

Yes, we lose our youthful beauty . . . in time. Yes, we all grow old. Yet marriage can get better and better each and every year if we keep our focus and stay in it for the long haul.

DesiremeHow To Make Your Marriage Last

The young, sexy body our culture prizes is not a person. It’s merely a fleeting phase of life. That’s why we should never marry for looks alone.

It is far smarter to marry a wonderful person, the person inside, not an appearance, which will only fade. So begin by making a good choice for a mate. Marry a real person, one you admire on the inside.

Someone who will only get better with time. Someone who will still be funny, interesting and profound when he or she is 90!

A beautiful person will always be beautiful. No matter what happens on the outside. It’s the inside that matters. Oh, he or she may retain their outer beauty for a long time, but it’s the inner beauty that really counts . . . and makes you happy.

Living with a strong, happy, caring individual who loves life and is always improving himself/herself is the only way to go! Put two such individuals together and you have a relationship with excellent potential.

How To Improve Your Marriage: Where To Start

Start with a vision. Your vision must take in the long-term aspects of your relationship. Try to see the marriage for what it can be in ten, twenty or fifty years! That’s not easy when you’re only beginning. But you can do it.

Talk about your long-term goals and plans for your relationship. Share your dreams. What are the likenesses and differences? Are your goals, hopes and dreams compatible? Be honest with yourselves and each other. Think! Don’t jump into a relationship with the first pretty person who comes along. Remember, that skin is not who the person really is.

Also, realize the path to relationship success and marital bliss is paved with mundane bricks. It’s the effort you make in the here-and-now that gets you to the promised land. Every day can’t be equally exciting and romantic. Every year won’t be the same. Your relationship will go through phases, good and hard times. There will be challenges (thank goodness, since it’s partly the challenges that makes us strong).

But you can get through it all and get some of the marriage help you need if you remember to keep your vision before you, if you can keep seeing the big picture. Remember that great marriages are always works in progress . . . works that require great spans of time, diligence and more patience than anyone wants.

Make Personal Sacrifices

Spouses who make personal sacrifices for the relationship will succeed. Sometimes you have to give up things for the good of the marriage. Your immediate wishes or needs may have to go, as you invest your time in sharing, saving, listening and compromising. Many marital problems can be solved when we remember to make sacrifices.

Example

One spouse may want to play in a softball league, but the hours of practice and long days spent in travel and tournament play are too draining. A better choice may be to spend that time with the young children and recreating as a family.

It’s a decision that will build love and romance, and strengthen the marriage and the family.

If you are focused on the moment only, and your present desire, you will shortchange the relationship. But if you remember to see the relationship as a long-term commitment, a work-in-progress, one that will take time to confer the greatest benefit, you will put the marriage first . . .and greatly enhance your marriage.

Decision Making Tip

Here’s a cool tip for making good decisions about your relationship: when trying to decide anything, always ask what eventual impact the decision will have on the long-term success of the marriage.

Another way to go about it is this . . . try being clear about three things:

1. How will your decision impact your partner?

2. How will it impact yourself?

3. How will it affect your relationship, both in the present and future?

When it comes to relationships, those daily, mundane decisions and acts of love are the stepping stones to the greatest happiness, and the loftiest paradise. They will help you to overcome many marriage problems. No, the mundane bricks may not always seem glamorous, exciting or trendy, but that’s okay. They form a solid path to marital bliss and success. If you sign up for the long haul, and persist in seeing the big picture . . . your relationship will succeed!

In the meantime, please send us your comments.  We’d love to hear what’s on your mind.  Before I go, I just wanted to ask if anyone has seen that cute commercial that comes on regarding the Swift Brush?  A box of samples are left on the couples door.  They are an elderly couple in their 90’s, can you believe it?   Anyway, you can tell they are in love.  It is a beautiful commercial that you must see.  You can also check it out on YouTube.  It is the most precious video I have ever seen…Until next time, keep bloggin….

Scott’s Link!

Online Dating: 10 Critical Mistakes ALL People Make – Including You!

510105Online dating is fascinating.

You can meet thousands of available singles that are literally just a click away, seeking love, romance, dating, marriage, friendship – and yes, of course, sex. Men and women alike join dating services hoping to make new friends and start new relationships.

But there are some common mistakes ALL people make when using Internet personals – including YOU!

Here are ten common mistakes all people make when dating online. Check out if you are guilty of some of them.

MISTAKE #1 – “Giving it a try”

Most people start using online personals with the attitude “Let me give it a try and see where it goes”. They don’t really think they WILL meet someone – they only HOPE to meet someone. What is the difference? When you “hope” to succeed, you don’t try hard enough – if it works, great, if it does not work, fine, at least I’ve tried. When you think you “will” meet someone, and it does not work, you change something in your approach to online dating to get the results you want.

BOTTOM LINE: Don’t “give it a try” – do your best.

MISTAKE #2 – Hoping “the right person will find you”

Most people don’t pay when they post their profiles on online dating sites, which usually means they can receive letters but cannot answer ads of other members. They hope people will be writing to them. If you are an 18-year-old model-type girl, this may work for you. But if you are not, then you shouldn’t hope your dream partner would email you out of blue. You will get much better results if pay for premium membership to the dating site and write to Contact other people; don’t wait for them to contact you.people yourself.

BOTTOM LINE:

MISTAKE #3 – Sending one-liners

It’s amazing how many people using online personals send letters of the type “Hi, liked your profile, please see my profile”. If your photo does not impress the other person in an instant, most likely they will just delete your email. Some *might* actually read your profile – and if there is nothing in your profile that impresses them in an instant, then they will also just delete your email.

BOTTOM LINE: Write letters that have some substance in them.

MISTAKE #4 – Sending form letters

I always know when I receive a form letter – always! I am sure you know it too. If there are no personal references in the letter, I know this letter was not written especially for me. No one wants to be one of the crowd. Every person wants to be special!

BOTTOM LINE: Write individual letters for each person you contact.

MISTAKE #5 – Writing boring letters

Many people are guilty of this one. They write about things they want to say and not what the other person wants to hear.

The result: letters that are plain BORING.

Remember: it’s not about YOU – it’s about THEM! Tell them what you liked about their profile so much that you decided to write to them. Some things may be uncertain in their profiles – ask questions and guess the answers. For example, she ticked “Tell you later” in her profile about kids – if she did not have any kids, she would say so. Ask if she has kids and tell her you think she does and that you just love kiddies. A person who actually THINKS and what more – thinks ABOUT HER, it’s indeed something special, and your letter is sure to get noticed. Don’t talk much about yourself in your letter (she can always read your profile) – tell her why you think you will be the right guy for HER. If you do not fit her requirements 100%, tell her why it won’t be a problem. You pride yourself on having a great sense of humor? Back up your claim – make her laugh! From the first line, your letter should grab her attention and she should not be able to stop reading till the end. THEN she will be certainly compelled to check your profile on the Internet personals website.

BOTTOM LINE: Write interesting letters – the type of letters you would like to receive.

MISTAKE #6 – Contacting dozens of members at once

Once people pay for their premium membership to the online dating site, they tend to contact dozens of members at once. The reason for that is that they don’t hope to receive much response. STOP for a minute: what are you actually looking for? Most of us are interested in starting a relationship with someone special. In fact, all you need is only one person – but the one who is RIGHT for you. Do you really want to correspond with 50 people at a time? Spend more time reading profiles on the site, and then select a precious few that you like the most and write to them. Make sure you get responses from your favorites before contacting other people.

BOTTOM LINE: Don’t contact dozens of people at once – concentrate on the ones you like the most.

MISTAKE #7 – Not following up

Let’s face it: we live in a fast-paced world. We tell people “Let’s get together soon” and forget it in an instant. We send an email, never get a response and lose the contact forever. This is extremely important when using Internet personals: if you do not get a response, follow up. Send another email. Tell them you are waiting for an answer and you want to hear from them even if they are NOT interested. Having somebody who is really interested in you is not very common nowadays. This very fact may convince people to answer you. Check if they are premium members. If they are not, they might have to pay the membership fee before they are allowed to answer your email, and this is the reason why they did not respond. Check the rules of the website before assuming they are not interested.

BOTTOM LINE: Follow up. Make sure there are no technical problems averting your contact.

MISTAKE #8 – Not having a photo in your profile

If you don’t have a picture in your profile, you are missing out on people’s attention great deal. Many great singles, men and women alike, NEVER answer mails from members without photos – leave alone writing to them. If you are concerned about privacy, take a photo where you are in the distance and hardly recognizable, or put on sunglasses. Smiling broadly also changes your face.

BOTTOM LINE: Put a photo in your profile. This is proven to increase your chances up to 10 times.

MISTAKE #9 – Bad body language on the photos

When people look at your photos, they try to figure out what kind of person you are. If you cross your arms of legs, or in any other way “cover” your body on the photos, placing a barrier between you and the viewer, you make them think you are timid, insecure and lack confidence. Use open body language – open palms, arms on the sides of your body – never “covering” it, smile and “look” the viewers in the eyes.

BOTTOM LINE: Check your body language – people make their opinion about your personality by looking at your photos.

MISTAKE #10 – Giving up

You’ve tried this and that and nothing worked, so you give up: “Internet dating just doesn’t work for me”. That’s the biggest mistake of all. What you should do is to use your negative experience and learn WHY it did not work. Look at profiles of other people that attracted you and compare it with your own profile. Try to change your wording. Get a new photo with a happy smile. Try to contact somebody you feel nothing about and see how it goes. Maybe you are just trying too hard? Treat your search for a partner as you would treat the search for a new job: if at first, you don’t succeed, try and try again. Make it your habit to check new listings every day and write to one person. See what works and use it again. Borrow ideas from other people. Just don’t give up!

BOTTOM LINE: Online dating works. All you need to do is to gain experience. Practice makes perfect. Your special person is waiting for you!

We’d love to hear your comments and don’t forget to check out these sites:

 

Love, Dating and Marriage

For one who has spent quite a number of years on the love, dating and marriage scene, I feel qualified to make certain bold statements. Without apology, it is quite clear that every normal human being desires to be happy. However, let the truth be told to those who care to listen that being married or being single has nothing to do with being happy. Deciding to get married because you are presently unhappy may open you up to a rude shock! Conversely, deciding to stay single because many marriages these days don’t last may leave you equally unfulfilled and unhappy. Being happy is a choice, remaining single is a choice and being married is a choice. You can CHOOSE to be the way you want to be. What you choose is what you become! It is this basic lack of understanding that has precipitated the numerous cries of “help save my marriage” that is noised all over the place these days.111474

The western world has the greatest number of relationship experts, counselors, books, and materials yet holds the record of having the highest divorce rate, most number of single parents, and a greater ratio of single women of marriageable age to married than at any other period in time. Furthermore, there is a consistent move away from the heterosexual relationship and an emphasis on same sex relationship/marriage.

In my extensive study and research on the internet, one cannot but wonder if the aim of these so-called experts giving advice in love relationship is to mislead the vulnerable, gullible and unsuspecting consumers of their products and services and sabotage their relationships. One of the tenets of capitalism is to find out what the consumers want, produce, sell and make a killing out of it. The direct consequence of this phenomenon on the relationship scene is that in order to produce best-sellers, experts have continued to churn out stuff that THE CONSUMERS WANT TO HEAR not the things they NEED TO HEAR!!! No wonder the high rate of relationship failure and a destruction of the marriage and family institutions. It is all a game of numbers, and bountiful sales lead to plenty dollars in the bank. It is this burden to make a positive difference in the lives of people and correct all the false psychological theories that birthed this article

Marriage comes with certain ENJOYMENTS that singles are not afforded. Marriage is an adventure that you are encouraged to explore. However, with the enjoyments come the responsibilities. Note that you may enjoy without being happy. You may enjoy the financial security that comes with being married or the sex, the status, the respect you are given for being a married woman/man, the joy of parenthood e.t.c.   No wonder some stay married despite the fact that they are not really happy. The reason is that there are some aspects of the relationship that they are enjoying and to them the benefit of staying married outweighs the divorce/single life option.

UNDERSTANDING THE RESPONSIBILITIES

The male man (man) and the female man (woman) are both human beings but with different roles. In a relationship, two is attempting to become one. They must thus understand that to operate as ONE TEAM each must understand and operate in its unique role. The male becomes the HEAD of the team while the female becomes the HEART of the team. The man is called to lead while the woman is called to help. The heart is the organ to love with while the head is the organ to think, reason and coordinate with. As the heart, it is easy for the woman to be tender and loving but she has to learn to yield, submit to the leadership of her man and to complement and not compete with him. As the head, it is easy for the man to lead and co-ordinate and take the initiative but he must learn to be tender and loving always responding to the heart deep advice and nudging of the woman. This is the perfect team! Anything other than this arrangement is CONFUSION!!

The woman in a relationship may be intelligent and richer than the man but she has to step aside and let him take charge because that is his calling. To illustrate this: Take for example a car. All the occupants of the car may know how to drive. But to get them to their mutual destination only one of them will have to drive. This is because there is only one driver seat. Others may give their opinion as to where and when to turn in order to get them to where they are going but the decision and the responsibility lie in the hands of the driver. That is the man’s role. The moment each person in the relationship understands that marriage comes with enjoyments as well as responsibilities and each person is willing to accept and carry out their responsibilities, true happiness will be the result. This I believe is the best relationship love advice that can be offered at such a difficult time on the relationships scene.

 

Until the next time, here’s bloggin at you kid..  Scotts Link!!110889

Children Today Know More About Marriage

Children know a strong marriage when they see one. If you’re a parent and you want a great marriage, look inside. You’ll find 3 rules for loving each other and giving your children a secure foundation.

What would your children say about your marriage?110879

A six-year-old named Freddie was asked, “What ‘s the right age to get married?”

He answered, “No age is good to get married. You’ve got to be dumb to get married.”

To make sure your child has a positive view of marriage, I interviewed loving couples to find out about their marriage bond. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married before. You can make your present marriage a loving one. Below you’ll find out about Mark and Michele and 3 of their rules.

Michele, my cousin, is a pretty petite woman with a bright personality. She married Mark 34 years ago. It was at a family gathering I asked Michele, “What is the bond that keeps you together?”

“Respect,” she said.

“I respect Mark by never forcing him to do what I want. Forcing doesn’t work for anyone.” She offered the following example:111391

“Years ago when Mark hated his job, I supported his finding a new one. I did have one request. ‘Mark,’ I said, ‘please consider our family when you choose your next job.’ He did.”

When I asked Mark, “What is the bond that keeps you together?” he answered, “Commonality of purpose. We make our important decisions together like when to have a child, buy a house, or a car.”

Mark grinned as he told me about their pre-marital counseling.

Father Shaunessy’s advice affected him deeply. In each of the 10 three hour sessions the priest presented one marriage rule. Mark, not being Catholic, listened intently. After 34 years of marriage, Mark easily remembered these 3 rules:

3 Marriage Rules for Loving Couples –

First Marriage Rule – Always say, “please” and “thank-you.”

Saying “please” and “thank-you” is a sign of respect. If you say it sincerely, your partner will feel it. Such respect strengthens your marriage bond. You won’t be taking each other for granted. You won’t be acting like you’re entitled. You will be showing your child how respect makes a marriage better.

Second Marriage Rule – Never go to bed angry.

Going to bed angry keeps you awake. Your mind festers with dark thoughts. You waste time mentally justifying your own actions. The next morning you set the day with those same thoughts. Even your child senses your foul mood. Don’t waste time staying awake. Solve your problems before you sleep.

Third Marriage Rule – Always make sure your partner has money.

The one who handles money best between the two of you might be in charge of paying bills, accounting, etc. That doesn’t mean the money handler is more important. It does mean that the money handler makes sure the other person has money to pay for extras. Your child should never witness you or your spouse begging for pocket money.

Mark’s Final Comment:

“I wrote down all 10 rules. We’ve followed them too. He pulled out a blank check that Michele had given him to pay for his parking the following week. Laughing he added, “Father Shaunessy never guessed Michele would handle the money.”

Conclusion for Parents, Love, and Marriage: That’s all I have to say about that…I hope you enjoyed this article and please, send us your comments.  We’d love to know what you think.

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce And Rekindle The Love

Many couples are desperate and in need of help and information on how to save a marriage from divorce and get back that “lovin’ feeling” that brought them together in the first place. Too many marriages today have either ended in divorce, are in the process of divorce, or unknowingly headed for divorce. It’s a brutal statistic but 50% of marriages today will be destroyed through a divorce, and that is a conservative estimate!  111359

The great news in all this is that divorce does not need to be the ultimate outcome of your relationship woes. There is so much you can do, right now, to stop the negative momentum in your relationship that is quickly pushing your marriage towards the divorce statistics.

If you are interested and open to learning how to save a marriage from divorce I think you will find this article helpful, and I truly hope that you will take what I share and apply it immediately to your relationship. Time is of the essence when your marriage is on the line. Truth is if you are at this stage and worried about divorce you have already put things off too long. So I challenge and encourage you to read this and then start applying what you learn this very night!

Before you can save your marriage you need to isolate the problems that are threatening it. You can’t fight an enemy you can’t see. If your marriage is in trouble there are a few, tell-tale, signs that you need to be aware of and then confront. They include:

1. A lack of desire to be together – This is a huge red flag and needs to be dealt with yesterday! If you and your partner find it painful to “hang-out” and find that you would rather do “whatever” either on your own or with a friend, then very likely there is a serious problem with your relationship. While it is true that everyone is busy, if your daily activities, work commitments, time spent with children and friends so dominate your schedule that there is no time left for your spouse, there is serious trouble brewing and this issue needs to be addressed. If spending time together is not a top priority, then you need to stop everything and re-prioritize your life. How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love has to include quality time spent together with your spouse!

2. A feeling of resentment – If there is an underlying sense of resentment, (towards your spouse or vice-versa), or perhaps it is even outright, in your face resentment, then you need to be alarmed! This is not a healthy aspect for any marriage and will eat away at your relationship like rust on steroids! If resentment is causing you to feel that you don’t even like your spouse anymore, then your marriage is in a major crisis and you need to take immediate action.

3. A lack or void of intimacy – If you and your spouse have not been intimate for a long time, and it doesn’t seem to bother you, then this is another red flag that should cause you to be concerned. If you are really interested in how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, than you have to take a serious look at the intimacy factor in your relationship. While a lack of sex does not mean a marriage is on the rocks, a total lack of intimacy is a good indicator that this is the case. Intimacy is more complex than just sex and includes enjoyment and fulfillment from tender moments spent together, through hugging, kissing, snuggling and just being together physically.

4. An inability to communicate – Another indicator that your marriage is in trouble and may be headed for divorce is when you and your spouse don’t talk or “discuss” things normally anymore; you merely argue and disagree about everything. If conversation has become a chore and it seems easier to just not talk than have to deal with the emotional stress and anxiety you feel after verbal interaction, then now is the time to sit up, take notice and make some serious changes. Open, healthy communication is an absolute essential part of a strong, fulfilling marriage. You will not discover how to save your marriage from divorce until you first discover how to communicate properly and lovingly.

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Requires A Game Plan:

OK, now that we have identified some definite red flags and you realize that your relationship troubles may be more serious than you thought, we need to look at positive measures to take now to bring healing and restoration. The following suggestions will answer, in part, the nagging question of, “How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love again”:

* The first step to bringing healing into your marriage is to open up the lines of communication. You need to take the time to talk. This won’t happen on its own, you must make the time. This needs to be a two-way dialogue where you and your spouse open up to one another and share your concerns. Be honest and address the problems, openly sharing your ideas and thoughts. You and your spouse deserve to know how each other are feeling. Then, together, establish helpful and reasonable solutions.

* Be sure to stay calm and never raise your voice during this time of reconnecting and communicating. Go out of your way to be polite and respectful in your communication skills. The tone of voice and body language can speak volumes, so be aware of both. At all costs, avoid accusations and finger-pointing. If your spouse feels threatened it will be “game-over”. After you have shared your concerns listen carefully, and intently, to your partner’s response and then be proactive in working with her/him in coming up with restorative resolutions of how to save a marriage from divorce.

* If you have success in communicating then continue spending time together working things out. No matter how busy “life” gets couples that want to stay together must find the time to shut out the rest of the world and be alone. You will each, most likely, have to reduce your obligations, but it will be so worth it. Learning how to save a marriage from divorce will involve retraining yourselves and rethinking your priorities.

* Plan a date night! It seems so cliche but it is effective. Even if it only happens once or twice a month, you will find this, alone time, to be extraordinarily advantageous to restoring your relationship. It will enable you to reconnect with one another, helping you to identify and appreciate each other all over again and give you a sense of just how valuable your marriage really is. Do not underestimate the value of this step in your plan of how to save a marriage from divorce.adoreebook

The key of how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, is to first and foremost recognize that there is a serious problem and then become immediately proactive in addressing the issues and working together to find, and implement, solutions that will bring reconciliation and healing to the relationship. There is no better time than the present to begin, and time is of the essence…

All the best!

How to Maintain Love in Relationships

111356Love is the reason why people get into relationships in the first place. However, with time, love in relationships fades and, the relationship continues. Without mutual love from both partners, relationships end up being suffocated or being starved to death. There is no way that a relationship can survive without the love being present. It is, therefore, vital to learning some guides on how to maintain love in relationships. Work is necessary to keep love present and, often times; this is never a simple task.

First, though, it is vital for us to explore factors that lead to love being lost in a relationship. They say that familiarity breeds contempt and this has been seen to be so. When you are very close to a person, you are bound to get used to them. You will have the opportunity to critic some of the things they do and how they do it. Eventually, you will speak your mind without worrying whether their feelings are being hurt or not. Partners will get angry and love cannot survive with strife. Therefore, it is vital for you to have a good understanding of what went wrong for the love to be broken.

Love in relationships is also broken by very serious problems. For example, when trust is broken through infidelity, love between a couple will heavily come under attack. Make sure that you look back to some of the factors that affect your love and it is here that you will find solutions on how to revive it and maintain it. Many couples will realize that forgiveness is an effective way of maintaining love in relationships. When you love somebody, all may appear to be perfect but, chances are that you will find fault with your partner at one point or the other. Therefore, when you decide to forgive, you will be renewing your trust and confidence in your spouse. This is the only true way of dealing with issues. When you forgive, you will overlook all the bad things and choose to focus on things that are good. Without forgiveness, many relationships would never proceed to reach the heights they have reached. Forgiveness comes with a realization that we are all human and at some point in our lives, we are going to make mistakes. Therefore, when you forgive your partner, you might be seeking forgiveness the other day.

Love in relationships is maintained by mutual respect. When you do all you can to maintain that respect with your spouse, you will appreciate them and, what you give is what you receive. Couples have been known to treat each other like children and this is definitely not the way to lead your life in relationships. Love is not just an emotion you feel but, it is the action you put in place. Do not just say that you love your partner, find ways to show that you love them. Surprise them once in a while. There is nothing more magical than seeing the person you love come to whisk you away for lunch on a boring Monday afternoon. Never tire of doing good things to your partner and, you will not be disappointed. Remember, taking the initiative to show your partner that you love them will be the best move. When you wait for them to do something good for you, you might and up disappointed.

And that all I have to say about that. In the meantime, keep bloggin. We’d love to hear your comments.