The Hard Truth

The penis is a mysterious, magical organ.  (Chances are, you’re already a fan), but because you don’t have the appendage yourself, it can be tricky to figure out how to get, and keep, it happy.  The deeper you’re understanding of how it works, the more satisfied and connected you’ll both feel.  With that in mind, listen to what his penis would say if it could speak up for its owner.

“You can help me when I’m nervous.” 

Few issues have a more chilling effect on a between the sheets session than performance anxiety.  Sure, there are medical reasons your guy may peter out mid-act-including diabetes, heart disease, hormonal disorders, and side effects from medication-but nine times out of 10, the leading cause of penis failure is between his ears, not his legs.  Self-doubt travels from the brain to the penis in a flash, so whether you are with a man for the first time (and you’re an unfamiliar partner to him) or he feels pressure to measure up to some hypothetical sexual standard, his penis may let him down.  Once he starts worrying about whether he’ll be able to get or stay hard, he may become clumsy, or forget about doing the things that excite you, or become too distracted to even feel the kisses and strokes you’re bestowing upon him.  You know the result.

When you sense he’s tensing up, encourage your guy to stop what he’s doing and tell you about whatever anxiety he’s feeling.  It happens to all men, and your acceptance is going to mean a lot to him.  Ninety-nine percent of the time, candor will improve the situation by defusing stress.  You can do your part by reassuring him, calming him down and taking the pressure off.  And if you don’t succeed, try again and again. (And again.)

Despite how localized an erection appears, it’s actually the result of a complex process that involves the endocrine, muscular, vascular, and neurological systems.  The penis gets still in a series of distinct steps.  The first reaction, arousal, occurs when the nerves are stimulated and microscopic blood vessels in the organ begin to dilate.  This can be triggered by something your guy sees, hears, smells, feels, or imagines.  The link is so intimate and immediate, it’s as if the penis has sense organs of its own.

When the brain decides it’s time for the penis to rise to the occasion, it shoots signals down to the lumbar area of the spinal cord. From there, the messages hightails it along a network of nerves to the penis.  When they arrive, the tiny muscles within the penile arteries relax and blood rushes in at six to eight times the normal rate.  Your guy’s member then becomes engorged-making it bigger, firmer, and more erect.  And when everything’s in working order, the penis stays hard long enough to accomplish its goal.  That’s because a valve like mechanism within this unit prevents blood from flowing back out too soon.  Once your guy ejaculates-or if his arousal is interrupted for some other reason, the penis quickly becomes flaccid again.

Does your man rise to occasion?  Sometimes they just can’t get it up no matter what.  You have to take the time to talk about the most intimate things.  Sometimes, this can make a difference.  So what do you think?  Does your mate come too fast?  How do you maintain control?  We’d love to hear your comments on this.  Let’s talk about it.  Your comments are welcome….Until the next time, keep blogging.  In the meantime check out our blog site at:

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Don’t Judge Me Part 2

Yesterday we left off where Alice was in a dilemma as to whether to tell Jeffrey about her recent visit to the doctor and if she would end up canceling her wedding, losing Jeffery or just slipping away and keeping her deep dark secret to herself.

Today, it’s raining and everything appears to be so gray.  Yesterday I had a beautiful life.  I was on top of the world.  Today, I feel like someone has pulled my life from under me and I don’t know which way to turn.  No matter what happens, I have to take control of this situation.

It’s 6:00 pm and Jeffery just arrived home.  How’s my favorite girl?  I missed you so much today.  Listen, I spoke to my mom and she tells me that she can’t wait to get here.  She wants to arrive early so she can help with all the planning and hopefully take some of the weight off of your mom.  That’s great replied Alice, I’m really looking forward to finally meeting her.  Jeffery, I have to talk to you about something that’s really urgent.  What is it Alice, replied Jeffery, tell me.  Jeffery, I’m HIV positive.  Jeffery almost fell off his feet, what did you say?  I said, I’m HIV positive, replied Alice.  Who told you that?  How do you know?  I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup and since we were getting married I decided to have a full checkup done and this is what they found.  Oh my God, Alice, I can’t believe it, replied Jeffery.   Stop right there, I don’t know how this happened, I’ve never cheated on you and I don’t know where this came from.  I went over it again and again in my mind and I still don’t know what happened.  I feel like God is punishing me for my life before.

All of a sudden, Jeffery got real quite.  Alice I’m sorry, he said.  Sorry, sorry for what? She asked, I’m the one that’s made our life a disaster.  No, it’s not you, it was never you.  It was me.  All of sudden Alice looked up with surprise, you, Jeffery what are you saying.  Jeffery held his head down, to ashamed to look into her eyes.   I mean, I cheated on you and I didn’t tell you and the one time I cheated, I picked up the disease from her.  So you see, it was never you, it was me.  Alice stopped right in her tracks, what are you saying, you mean, I’ve put my life through hell over the past week and it wasn’t even my fault.  Why didn’t you tell me Jeffery?  I couldn’t, I mean, I don’t know why.  I tried to tell you over and over again but you were always too busy to listen, he replied.  So you gave me the disease? She asked.   I had an affair and I’m sorry, I made a mistake. A mistake that will follow me for the rest of my life and I don’t know how to fix it.  You should have started by telling me.   That would have been a start, she replied.  I was hoping it would just go away, replied Jeffery.  So where is she now?  Are you still seeing her?  Asked Alice.  No, Jeffrey replied.  She was a one night stand.  A one night stand that brought death to our family, replied Alice.  So, what do we do from here?  She asked.   How did you keep an issue like that a secret, didn’t it bother you, weren’t you afraid you would hurt me?  Asked Alice. What you want from me, Jeffery replied.  It’s just one of those things that happened.  A part of life, relied Jeffery.

In my opinion, it sounds like Jeffery is acting an asshole.  If I were Alice, I’d tell him to pack his sh…t, and go.  But what do you do?  Are there really any right answers?   Let’s talk about this….

So how do you think this story should end?  Should Alice pretend that nothing is wrong?  Should she still marry Jeffery?  He cheated on her, can she ever trust him again?  What would you do?  We’d love to hear your comments on this.  And when you get a chance, please check out our blog at:

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The Odd Body

What are goose bumps, pins and needles, and side stitches?  The truth behind 3 of your body’s physical quirks – and easy moves that leave you feeling your best.  Let’s call them out and see if we agree:

1.       What causes Goose Bumps?

Goose bumps (scientific name: piloerection) pop up when you’re cold or afraid.  A tiny muscle at the base of each body hair contracts; together, they appear as naked bumps on the flesh.  They made sense eons ago, when humans still had a natural “fur coat.” Back then, fluffing your ruff would warm the body by trapping an insulating layer of air between the hairs.  And standing your hair on end was intimidating to predators or enemies (picture a cat facing off with a dog).  Evolution has since stripped humans of their pelts.  Now goose bumps are, of course, no medical issue.  If you’re uncomfortable showing off your vestigial physiognomy, dress warmly, place yourself in calm environments, and avoid horror flicks.

2.       Why Does Chopping Onions Make you cry?

When you cut into an onion, you rupture its cells, releasing enzymes that produce a gas called propanethial sulfoxide.  Once that gas reaches your eyes, it reacts with tears to produce a mild sulfuric acid.  And that hurts.  The brain then signals the eyes’ tear glands to produce more liquid to flush the stuff out.  The more you chop, the more irritating gas you produce  and the more tears you shed.  “: The onion’s chemical reaction is a defense mechanism that evolved to repel pests,” explains University of Wisconsin-Madison horticultural professor Irwin Goldman, Ph.D.  Keep the stinging and crying to minimum by chilling an onion in the freezer before cutting it; cold temperatures slow release of the enzymes.  The highest concentration of enzymes is at the bottom of the onion, so cut it last to postpone the weeping (and the irritation) for as long as possible.

3.       When you find something really funn7y, why do you sometimes “laugh until you cry”? 

Experts don’t really know.  One thing to consider: Laughing and crying are similar psychological reactions.  “Both occur during states of high emotional arousal, involve lingering effects, and don’t cleanly turn on and off,” says Robert R. Provine, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, and author of Laughter A Scientific investigation.  We associate crying with sadness, but tearing up is an even more complex human up is an even more complex human response.  Tears are triggered by a variety of emotions-“by pain, sadness, and in some cases even more complex human response.  Tears are triggered by a variety of emotions- “by pain, sadness, and in some cases even extreme mirth.  It’s just the way we’ve evolved,” says Lee Duffner, MD, a professor of ophthalmology at the University of Miami’s Bascom Palmer Eye Institute.  As if turns out, that’s good, because both laughter and crying can ease4 a stressful experience, probably by counteracting the effects of cortisol and adrenaline.  So if you ever find yourself laughing until you cry, count yourself lucky.


Can you explain the Odd Body?  We’d love to hear your comments.  We look forward to hearing from you.   So until then keep Bloggin us in.

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Don’t Go Changing

You have the perfect mate, well, almost perfect so you’d like to think.  You’ve been with this mate for 10 years and you’re thinking to yourself, ten years have passed and we are still together.  I can finally take off my shoes and relax.  The chase is over, I’ve got him now.  My story is going to have a happy ending, wrong, you might just be on your way out.  From the female point of view, when we find the man of our dreams, we work hard to get him.  We go out of our way to ensure that his every need is met.  Things that we swore we would never do, we end up doing.  Cooking, cleaning, picking up his laundry, whatever it takes, we are there to fulfil that need.  The reality is, there is a shortage of men, and we are desperate so when we do find a good man, we hurry to put our game plan into play.  The challenge is there and we are going to make it. 

There are quite a few obstacles that we have to face but we are ready and willing to go the distance.  We know that there’s the other woman just waiting for you to give up so that she can step in and take over where you left off.  So all the love and understanding you’ve put into the relationship has gone down the drain.  But wait! you can’t let this happen.  You have to fight for what is yours and remember you’ve earned the right to keep it.  Remember all the things you used to do when you were trying to get your man?  Well, believe it or not, you still have to do those things to keep him.  My brother had been married for over 30 years and one day, she came home and he was gone.  His wife and I had always been close so of course she called me and was in a panic.  She couldn’t believe he was gone, neither could I. 

We both sat down and she tried to think, when did things change.  I remember every holiday, when we would go to their home, he was the one that did all the cooking.  He was always, cooking, cleaning or doing something around the house.  I remember thinking to myself, wow he is such a good husband.  He must love her to death.  Little did I know that she was on her way out the door?  I found out that he had tried to talk to her over and over again about things that needed to change but she had forgot how to listen.  And of course, he got tired of talking so there you go.  A 30 year relationship, over.  To keep a relationship strong you have to remember, what you did to get him, you have to continue to do to keep him.  If your man comes home hungry, get up off your lazy ass and fix him something to eat.  Because if you don’t, someone else will, so keep that thought in the back of your mind and your story will have a happy ending. 

Are you still in the game?  The things you did to get him, are you still doing to keep him?  We’d love to hear your comments.  Let’s Talk. 

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Good Food Good Meat Getting Late Let’s Eat!!

Down Boy!  Do you want more oral sex but feel weird about asking for it?  The truth is most guys really want to go downtown – some just need to be pushed a little.

It has been said that all’s fair in love and war, but when it comes to oral sex, things just aren’t.  A full half of twenty-something guys revealed that they had received oral sex in the past month, compared with just over a third of women, per a recent study done by the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior.  While two-thirds of the survey said they wish their mate would go south more often, 49 percent are too shy to make the request.  It’s time to even the score, sisters!

What’s Holding Him Back?  Before you can get him down to business, you need to figure out why he’s been lax.  Chances are it’s not because he’s lazy. 

  1.  Mixed Signals – Nearly 63 percent of guys in a recent men’s health survey said that what keeps them from going down on a woman is her “no thanks” vibe.  It could be that if you turned him down during your period or immediately post-gym, your guy may have gotten the impression that you’re not into oral sex at all.  So clear things up.  After the next time you take a trip downtown, during the afterglow, say something non- accusatory like, “Hey, you’re so good at going down on me, and I’m dying for more,” suggests sex therapist Lori Hollander, founder of the Center for Real Intimacy in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
  2. Tunnel Vision – Guys can be so focused on sliding into home that they forget how mind-blowing-and necessary-clitoral stimulation can be for you, says sexuality counselor Ian Kerner, Ph.D., coauthor of The Big Fun Sexy Sex Book.  If your partner heads south only sporadically and doesn’t stay long, Kerner suggests you tell him that your orgasms from oral sex are often more intense than they are when he’s inside you, and that you’d like to finish that way once in a while before moving on to intercourse.
  3. Performance Jitters – Can we all agree that as a man’s tool is way easier to figure out than yours” Instead of fumbling around down there, some guys skip the whole thing for fear of embarrassing themselves.  If your guy gives you oral but doesn’t seem able to get into a groove or he constantly changes tongue techniques, he probably doesn’t know what he’s doing and is insecure about it.  Kerner’s fix: Drop a line that’s both encouraging and educational, like, “I’ve been having these fantasies of us fooling around, and then you go down on me and really gently use your mouth, just tiny licks with the tip of your tongue.”
  4. Bad Memories – A minority of men just don’t like giving oral sex, says clinical sexologist Amy Cooper, Ph.D., author of The Everything Orgasm Book.  But it’s often because of a bad experience, like being with someone who freaked out, seemed disinterested, or had a vaginal infection and didn’t know it, she says.  One approach:  Take your action into the shower so he can feel confident about the freshness factor.  Once that hurdle is cleared, he may feel less reluctant.  If not, he may need therapy, says Cooper.
  5. A few tips for the ladies:  Always keep the coochie fresh and clean and you’ll always be prepared.  If you’ve just had your period, be sure to douche real good afterward to get rid of that stale smell.  Take care of yourself and your mate will take care of you..

Until the next time..Let us know your comments.  Do you like oral sex?  How do you get your mate in the mood?  Tell Us, we want to hear from you.  Until the next time Keep Bloggin and check out our site:

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Don’t Judge Me /Part I

The End of Alice book cover

As women, how do you feel about the number of men you’ve slept with?  Do you consider yourself a slut? Do you keep a list to remind yourself that you might just have promiscuous habits?  When you’re in your teens having sex seems to be labeled as just something to do.  It’s nothing to sleep with Mitch on Monday, Sam on Tuesday, Jack on Wednesday and so on and so on.  We don’t even think about it, we just do it.  We wonder, why is it a guy can brag about the number of women he’s slept with and it won’t hurt his standing but for a woman it’s taboo.

Enter Alice J. – A 33 year old female who is very attractive who has never had a problem turning a man’s head.  She has everything going for her.  She has a man in her life that is loving, warm and caring and who wants to spend the rest of his life with her.  Today Alice was on the top of the world.  She’s planning her wedding for September.  She thought that she had everything in place.  Her doctor’s office left a message on her machine letting her know that it’s urgent that she come in.  She’s thinking, what could it be?  I’m not sick or anything and I just had my yearly checkup.  But, I guess I’d better go in and put my mind at ease. 

9:00 am Thursday, arriving at doctor’s office.  After meeting with doctor, Alice is shaken, she doesn’t know what to do.  She’s just found out that she has the HIV virus.  How can this be?  I’ve only been with my boyfriend for the past 2 years so how could I have aids.  The doctor looks at her and says, you’ll have to tell him, he has to know.  He will also have to be tested.  Oh no, Alice felt a sick feeling come all over her.  She just wanted to die.  How could this be happening, I’m getting married in September.  I’ve already sent out the invitations and Jeffery’s parents are flying in from Rome.  Doctor, could there be a mistake, are you 100% sure that I’ve got the disease.  Yes, the doctor replied and we’ve got to get everyone that you and your mate has come in contact with over the past 5 years.

You need to go home Alice and let Jeffery know that he needs to get tested also and we need a list of your sexual partners that you had in the past.  Do you understand?  Alice, replied, Yes, I understand.  So she went home to face Jeffery.  On the way home from the doctor’s office, she’s thinking, Dear God, how will I tell him.  What will happen, will he leave me or will he want to work this out.  Do we call off the wedding after sending out all those invitations?  I just don’t know what to do.  I’ve got to pull myself together and think.  What do I do?

Tell Us:  What should she do?  She has wedding plans for September and her parents have put a ton of money into this event, so should she come clean? Would you hide the secret?  Your comments are welcomed.  Tune in tomorrow for Part 2 when Alice tells Jeffery.  Until the next time.  Keep Bloggin for me and while you’re at it, check out my blog at .

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Stand By Your Mate

Cover of "Power of the Middle Ground: A C...

Cover via Amazon

The #1 Time to Have His Back

Any good woman knows how important it is to be by her man’s side when life is kicking him in the nads – like when his boss reams him out for no reason.  He comes home and he doesn’t really know how to talk about it because he’s not sure what your reaction might be.  What you might not know is that the stuff you do and say during his happy moments is actually more vital to your long term contentment as a couple, according to a study from the University of California at Los Angeles.

If your partner has a bad day, often the most you can do is bring him back to baseline or a “non-stressed” state.  But good times offer the potential to move beyond this baseline, building a solid foundation for your relationship, explains study author Shelly Gable, Ph.D.  And missing out on these opportunities may do more damage than you think:  Couples who blow off each other’s highs are less satisfied, less trusting, less intimate, and at greater risk for calling it quits, says Gable.

Here, the best ways to give him props: 

Show Some Enthusiasm – No need to dust off your high school pom-poms but you do have to do some cheerleading if your guy scores a promotion or closes an important deal.  When he comes home and shares his good news, stop what you’re doing and tell him how happy you are for him.  If you’re having reservations about his news (the promotion means he’ll have to work late more often), keep them to yourself.  Voicing them now will only rain on his parade.

Be Curious – Give your husband or boyfriend an excuse to brag. “Asking questions allows him to highlight his strengths and makes it clear you’re interested in what’s important to him,” says clinical social worker Marty Babits, author of The Power of the Middle Ground.  If he finally snagged that client he’s been chasing for weeks, ask him how he pulled it off.  “You want to join him in the experience so he feels you’re right there with him,” says Babits.  Bonus: Your curiosity will make him feel more comfortable confiding in you about future goals and dreams, bringing you closer.

Acknowledge What It Means to Him – Next time he’s beaming over his softball team’s victory, validate his feelings by confirming the event’s importance.  Tell him you know how badly he wanted to win the league championship and how happy you are it happened for him. “When you give a nod to the fact that he wanted this, you show him you know him inside and out and have intimate knowledge of what matters to him,” says Gable.  This applies even if you think his interest is juvenile.  (He still camps out to score Phish tickets? Really?) Treat what he loves with respect.

Pay Attention – A heads-up on body language: “Nonverbal clues that make you seem indifferent can undermine your kind or supportive words,” says Harry Reis, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester in New York.

This is what you don’t want to do when your partner is trying to express their thoughts: Pick at your nails.  Look out the window, or simply just crossing your arms can project a lack of interest.

What you can do:  Look him or her straight in the eye, smile, and lean forward to show you’re receptive and engage in what he’s telling you,” says Reis.  With these facts, you can’t go wrong.

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A, B, C’s of Love

It’s never too late for love.  There are A, B, C’s of sizzling SEX so let’s turn up the heat.

Did you know that your sex drive and self-esteem work in tandem to bring you sexual satisfaction, according to research conducted by Tina Penhollow, Ph.D., professor of exercise science and health promotion at Florida Atlantic University?  Boost self-assurance and pave the way for more.

Eating healthy:  Your body will feel better, and your psyche will feel empowered by your taking control.

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women'...

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Sexual Fantasies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Exercising: Try activities that focus on fun and skill yet have a body-shaping payoff, such as swimming, cycling, or volleyball.  Taking care of details. By attending to the finer points – fresh nail polish, smooth legs and a well-fitting bra-you send the message to yourself and to others that you and your body are worth the extra effort.

We should all learn to Fantasize: Hot daydreams can help women tune in to a sexual experience, says clinical sexologist lan Kerner, Ph.D. because they help “turn off the parts of {the} brain associated with stress and anxiety.”  To plant the idea of fantasizing in his mind, tell your guy you had a wild dream about him, then play coy.  Make him pry it out of you.  You may spark some interest (and hear specifics about his fantasies too) without making him feel as if he isn’t satisfying you.

There is a term for sex without penetration, and it can be incredibly hot.  It’s called Outercourse.

Here’s what you do:  Apply a water-based lubricant liberally to the head and shaft of the penis and the labia and clitoris.  In one popular version, the woman lies on her back and keeps her legs together, spreading her well-lubed inner thighs just enough for her partner, on top, to slide his erect penis between them and her lips.  She can now squeeze her lips to tighten her grip on his penis as he thrusts and stimulates her clitoris with his moving shaft.  From this position, try various circular motions and grinding thrusts to create a massage for the clitoris and head of the penis.  If he ejaculates, sperm may still be able to enter the vagina, so be sure to use protection.

Then there’s the old Quickie:  There was a study published that found if women ignore outside distractions, they can start to become aroused in just 30 seconds.  Pounce on him when he least expects it (say when he’s frying eggs or after he steps out of the shower). Pull him into an empty room at a party and cop a feel.  Initiate a hot and heavy make out session before work.  Quickie sex reminds you of the early days when you did it any time you had the opportunity.

When you’re bad, what about an old fashion spanking?  A love tap on the butt can increase your bond as a couple, say researchers at Northern Illinois University.  Plus, women get a jolt of testosterone when they’re on the receiving end (but men don’t), according to research from the University of Pisa in Italy.

These are just a couple of things to get that old sex drive flowing.  Do you have any you’d like to share with us?  We’d love to hear your comments.

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News and Views

News and Views

Marquee of The Salt Lake Tribune on the Tribun...

Marquee of The Salt Lake Tribune on the Tribune Building in Downtown Salt Lake City (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What’s going on in the world today?  More than you could ever imagine.  First of all  The family of a 6-year-old New Jersey boy accidentally shot and killed by a 4-year-old neighbor is suing the boy’s parents for more than $1 million, the family’s attorney says.  Do you think the parents should have to pay?  What a horrible accident and both families must be devastated but who do you blame?

On another note what about the woman in Indiana who was on death row at age 16 for murdering Bible school teacher will be freed.  Can you believe it?  Locked up at 16

and now she’s coming home.

Paula Cooper was convicted in the 1985 murder of Ruth Pelke, who was found stabbed 33 times across her chest as part of a home invasion. Cooper, now 43, will be released Monday after her death penalty punishment nearly 30 years ago raised international attention.  She’s been given a second chance at life.  I hope she knows how to live this time around.  Do you think she’s paid enough for her crime?

What’s worse than finding a note on a plane saying, “I’ll set this plane on fire”? When the guy next to you stands up and announces he has poisoned everyone on board. That happened today on a flight from Hong Kong to Newark, reports the AP. Despite the disruption, the plane continued on to its destination, and the man was reportedly escorted off by 10 cops upon landing. The FBI says that there is no indication any of the 238 passengers on board were actually poisoned. What do you think should happen to this man?   He scared a lot of people and the outcome could have been worst.

“It almost looked like a child’s handwriting or someone who has very sloppy handwriting, but it was very alarming especially these days when everyone is so concerned about safety on flights,” said the woman who found the note; she’s also a BBC producer. She said the mood on board became tense and “very scary.” Scottish police confirm a suspicious note was found on board, but will not speculate on whether it was a credible threat.  We’ll have to wait for the outcome on this one but we will keep you posted.

What a Father’s Day Gift:  A Utah man has been arrested for allegedly walking into a church on Father’s Day and shooting his father-in-law in the back of the head in front of horrified parishioners. Police say Charles Richard Jennings Jr., 35, stole a pickup truck at gunpoint after the incident at a Catholic church in Ogden but was captured hours later in the next county, the Salt Lake Tribune reports. The injured man is in critical condition but is expected to survive.

Police describe the shooting as a “domestic violence-related incident.” Witnesses say Jennings entered the church hand-in-hand with his wife before walking over to a pew and shooting her father. “I’m assuming he brought her to church to watch him kill her father on Father’s Day,” a witness tells the Standard-Examiner said. “How dare he come into our sacred little church and do something like this.”

And last but not least:  Have you noticed any money missing from your bank account?  You might want to check it out because here is the latest in the annals of office screw-ups: A weary German bank worker was in the process of transferring 62.40 euros when he fell asleep for a (very expensive) “instant,” reports the AFP. In his unconscious state he pushed the number 2 key, leading him to instead transfer 222,222,222.22 euros; that’s just shy of $300 million.

The goof occurred last April, notes the BBC, but came to light in court: His error, which was eventually spotted, led to his supervisor—who didn’t pick up on the error and OKed the transaction—getting sacked. She took her case to labor court, and the judges yesterday ruled in her favor, saying there was no malice on her part and that a reprimand was the appropriate punishment.  Now what on earth was she thinking?  If that would have been me, I would have been fired on the spot.  What about you?  We’d love to hear your comments on this.  Share with us your thoughts.

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You Can’t Have Him

He’s cheated on me, should I forgive him?  I’ve always been a loving caring wife. Over the past 30 years, I’ve done more than my share trying to keep our relationship together but what happens when enough is not enough.  I look at myself in the mirror and ask what happened to that beautiful bubbling butterfly I used to be? I use to feel so good about myself, now I’m so depressed.  It’s not fair, what did I do to deserve this?  Life drains us little by little each day.  I’m so afraid of being along and like so many other women, I’ve grown to accept the error of his ways.  His girlfriend is bold.   She calls our home at least once a day and hangs up when I answer.  She even makes a point to leave her personals in his car to be sure that I find them.  She tries very hard to torment me and most of the time it works.  She wants him, she wants to take the man away from me who has stolen 30 years of my youth.  The man that I supported when he didn’t have a job.  The man that I helped pay his child support to keep him from going to jail.  She wants a part of me that I refuse to give up without a fightShe wants him.  It hasn’t been easy being married to him.  Sometimes he’s as mean as a snake. He snores at night so loud you can hear him a block away. He has so many bad qualities but they are my qualities and I still love him.   Although he’s never hit me, his tongue at times has cut me like a knife.  He belittles me and then builds me up.  I don’t know why I love him so much.  I wonder what he feels when he’s making love to her.  I wonder does he think about me.  At one time, we had passion that was so strong.  I thought that nothing could ever come between us, but what do you do? I know you out there reading this must think I’m crazy and a fool but you have to ask yourself, what you would do.  My husband takes good care of me.  I live in a wonderful neighborhood in a beautiful home.  I drive a new car and I have plenty of money to spend but there’s someone out there who wants what I have and she’s trying hard to take it away from me.  So, just for the record, I’m not leaving so your little games are not going to work.   What’s the quote, “If you love someone, set them free” and if they’re truly yours they’re supposed to come back to you?  I don’t know how true this statement is but I guess I’m about to find out.  She wants to break up our home but I refuse to go without a fight.  I can go the distance so whoever you are, I hope you’re listening.  You see, I’ve vested too much of me into this man and you can’t have him.

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