Fix Your Sexless Marriage – Live a Life With Passion

Is it possible to fix your sexless marriage? I think so. I see couples that are very happy with their relationships and some of them are well into their 80′s. You have to want the passion to be there and you have to work at it to keep it there. As women, we start to doubt ourselves. We wake up one day and look in the mirror and start to think it’s all over. You have to face the fact that time moves and our bodies move with time. You don’t have to give up on passion because you’ve reached the 50 mark. There are ways to embrace the change that will benefit the both of you. I read an article recently that states according to a recent survey, about 15% of couples live in what is defined as a sexless marriage, meaning that they have sex 10 times a year or less. This means that what once was considered a taboo topic cannot remain one for long. This problem has gotten too big for it to remain so secretive.111350

The worse thing about sexless marriages is that most people are too ashamed that this has happened to them to take any action. They simply give up on love and passion and do nothing to mend their relationship. It does not have to be this way. You can make your sex life young and exciting. I for one, do not want to grow old and lifeless. When he touches me, I want to feel the fire. You have to be able to talk about the subject. Tell your mate what feels good to you. Don’t pull away when he trys to kiss you, or when he or she trys to hold your hand. This is wrong. You can’t give up on love. There’s a great chance that you can fix your sexless marriage if you decide to. It depends on how much effort you’re willing to put into your marriage and how open you are to new ideas and the fact that this is a problem which has to be treated for you to be happy.

In all likelihood, your marriage didn’t become sexless due to a lack of love. You and your partner likely still love each other but over the years something has wilted between you. It happens to a lot of couples and you can revive the passion.

The first thing you need to do is to believe it’s possible to fix your sexless marriage. The second thing is to take a long look at your life and see where you can take steps to improve the interaction between you and your spouse.

The third thing is to make your life more exciting and fun. The fourth is to spend high quality time together as a couple. The fifth is to be able to accept temporary rejection and slowly rebuild the intimacy you lost.

It can be done and it’s in your hands. Never give up on love.  Please send us your comments.

We’d love to hear what’s on your mind.

In the meantime, keep bloggin and I’ll see you at the top!!!

Scotts Link!111417

Stop the Divorce …Save Your Marriage..

You are in a tricky situation currently; you are considering divorce; your wife has already walked out on you; you found her cheating; your marriage is failing for reasons unknown. But you obviously do care; you are a forgiving loving man; you want to stop the divorce; you want to save your marriage.

Does this describe your situation? You are reading this article so you obviously do care about your marriage. You wish that your wife could be in love with you until “death do you part”, even though she has already separated from you.

You understand that divorce is one of the worst things in the world. It affects not only you and your spouse, but also your children, your extended family,  and your friends. Some of the sad consequences of a marriage breakup can be seen in the following list:

– Your family life is wrecked
– Your children have split parents
– Your children have to cope with shared custodyadoreebook
– Your children have split loyalties
– You friends have split loyalties
– Your finances are torn apart
– Years of savings go up in smoke (or get paid to the lawyer!)
– You loose your home
– Hours of long drawn out legal battles in a divorce court
– You loose at least half of what you own
– You have ongoing alimony payments
– You have ongoing child support payments
– You feel hostile towards your wife and she towards you
– There are months or years of grieving

Is it worth it? Is this what you want? I would not wish divorce on my worst enemy. So stop the divorce now. Save your marriage

There is plenty of help available to help you work through and resolve the issues. You will find various solutions recommended by marriage guidance councellors and in the many self help books available.

But be careful. Research what others are doing;and do the opposite! Why? Because they’ve got it wrong. What they are doing doesn’t seem to work. Almost everyone believes that human beings make the ideal decisions based on reason. In a perfect world, you could see a marriage counsellor, come up with a plan (maybe by having “date nights” or “intimacy time”) and everything would be perfect. But it is not.

If you go to a relationship guru, they will tell you that you can “communicate” your way into a great marriage. But in reality, simply “talking through” your problems is the worse thing you can do. Apologizing, discussing, compromising, grovelling, begging, even communicating, sometimes these logic based approaches have limited success.

As a man one of the key points for you to know about your wife is that she uses emotion rather than logic when making personal decisions! And logic kills attraction. So if you want to build massive feelings of love and attraction in your wife, you have to look at what really makes her feel those things!

But the good news is that no matter how bad things have gotten, no matter how disinterested your wife might seem, no matter if one of you has cheated, no matter if you’re already separated – you can stop the divorce. You can save your marriage. But the longer you hesitate to do something about it the more likely you are to end up in a divorce court.

If you’re like most men, you have probably already tried everything you can to save your marriage, but nothing seems to work! Counselling didn’t work, books that claimed they could save your marriage didn’t work, and advice from your best mate or your sister didn’t work either. And now you have approached the best, a really expensive divorce lawyer. Will he/she be the savior of your marriage – I think not.

If you are so befuddled by the range of information available on this topic that you are unsure where to start, don’t worry you are not the only one. There are a lot of men in similar circumstances to you. It is time now to re-invest in your marriage and super-charge it with more love, passion, fun and excitement than ever before. Educate yourself on some fantastic insights into the human condition. Become that powerful guy once more.

The answer to how to stop the divorce and save your marriage is quite simple really. The law of attraction forms the foundation. Can you remember the early days of marriage bliss when you loved each other like nothing before? Can you recollect who you were when she loved you like that? In fact the only thing you have to do is wake up that same man your wife married.

If the attraction between spouses is dead and buried how will they prevent that divorce and save the marriage? In point of fact, the answer is not found by solving problems. It is actually found in building attraction. You have to develop so much heat and passion in your spouse that she is madly in love with you again. To stop that divorce and save your marriage you must lead your wife from being totally disinterested in you to being so attracted to you that you become the king of the castle and she is the queen by your side.

Would you like to know the secret about how to do that? Then here it is. In one word in is called leadership. If your marriage is in trouble, then you have not succeeded in leading your wife! Stop the divorce and save your marriage by becoming once again that amazing, compelling, dynamic leader your wife first fell in love with.

On a biological level, sex drive is all about the continuation of mankind. Males with commanding leadership qualities appeal to females because subconsciously they view strong leaders as the provider, the protector, and the giver of life through fatherhood. And so nature has programmed women on a biological level to be massively attracted to leaders. Regardless of what anyone might tell you, women do not like weak men. It turns us off…

You are probably thinking that this attitude is not politically correct. Of course in business and society,  women have total equality. But if you are serious about stopping that divorce and saving your marriage, if you want your wife to be attracted to you and in love with your forever, then that leader had better be you! lead your wife and let her biology do the rest. And that all I have to say about that. So send us your comments, tell us what’s on your mind. We’d love to hear from you.

We’re giving away FREE STUFF!!   So don’t forget to comment.

Scotts Link!

Why Passion is So Important in Your Relationship and Life

Passion is intense feeling, strong excitement, strong affection, love, intense desire and enthusiasm. You can have passion for anything or anyone. We all have a basic need to feel passion.

In other words, passion or being passionate is the fire in our eyes, in our bodies and in our lives that drives us forward–whether it’s for our work, our hobbies, or for our relationships.
111432
When people lose passion or fire in their lives or in their relationships, you can sure tell it. They go through their lives as if they are on auto-pilot and the joy just seems to have leaked out of them.

When people have passion for life or their relationships, you can also see it and feel it, even if they are quiet about it. Having passion is a way of living every moment of your life to its fullest.

Whether you are waiting in line at the bank, helping your children with homework or talking with your partner, a co-worker or family member–when you have and are living your life with passion, your heart is open to experiencing the joys of connecting with others or even with yourself.

To us, having passion means being truthful, being both powerful and vulnerable, having a willingness to stay and go deeper, taking responsibility for creating what we want in our lives, being open and allowing inner radiance to shine through–and of course being open to connecting with others, as well as with ourselves.

Our list could go on and on and you would probably have other ways of defining what it means to you that would also work– but you get the idea.

What we have discovered is that when it comes to having and feeling passion, you know when you have it and you also know when you don’t.

We were just thinking about a time recently when the two of us had a misunderstanding that could have turned into an ugly situation but didn’t because neither one of us closed to the other. We kept our hearts open to each other and continued working out our differences while we went about our daily activities and work. That’s having and keeping passion for each other and for keeping our relationship alive, growing, close and connected.

Having passion can mean many things in your life and your relationship. We invite you to decide what you are passionate about having in your life and then be open to doing what you need to do to keeping it that way.111350

3 Tips For Reigniting the Spark in Your Love Relationship Or Marriage

A comic wryly jokes about the pitfalls of being in a long-term relationship. He observes that the “adorable and still in love” elderly couple seen walking closely arm-in-arm in the park are actually merely leaning on one another so that they don’t fall down.

According to this comic, there is no such thing as passion in a relationship once you’ve been together for years and years– your body starts to go and you literally need one another just to get around.

This comedian’s jokes got laughs from his audience, but we simply do not agree.111474

When the spark goes out in your love relationship or marriage, it is no laughing matter.

When the spark goes out in your love relationship or marriage, it’s not inevitable either.

Julia looks with envy at her married friends. She has had several serious relationships, but none of them have been serious enough to take that step to get married.

Sometimes it’s the guy who seems unable to take their commitment to a deeper level. And sometimes it’s Julia who becomes bored or dissatisfied with her partner. She ends up breaking it off because she can’t envision herself spending the rest of her life with this man.

Still, Julia hopes that one day she will find the right guy and get married. She’d like to be in a long-term relationship that is filled with passion and stays that way. But she’s also a realist. She knows that isn’t what normally happens.

You might already be married or in a committed relationship. You might feel a lack of romance or passion with your partner but, just like Julia and the comic above, you believe that it’s natural and even unavoidable.

We’re here to help you question that belief. We’re here to tell you that you don’t have to settle for a spark-less relationship.

The excitement that you crave with your partner can be re-ignited, sustained and even expanded upon.

Here are 3 tips to get you started….

#1) Create an expectation that you and your mate will be connected and passionate as long as you are together.

Many people carry around the expectation that there is a “honeymoon” phase in every relationship (even those that don’t involve marriage) and, after that, it’s all downhill. You and your partner settle into sharing life together and there simply isn’t time or energy for passion.

If you look around, you might very well find that others in long-term relationships seem to go through this type of trajectory. As the couple gets to know one another, it’s all cards, flowers and romance. After a time, however, the flame dwindles and sometimes even dies out.

Part of the problem here is that people expect that after a certain number of years or after a particular age, you cannot share sensuality, red hot love or an enlivening closeness with one another– it seems nearly impossible.

If you hold such beliefs and expectations, we recommend that you think again. Ask yourself this: Is it true that every single couple who has ever been together has lost their spark at a certain point in their relationship?

If you put the question in that way, you’ll undoubtedly determine that you can’t know this with any certainty.

The truth is, there are scores of couples all across the globe who do enjoy that kind of passion. You might even know people who have created such a relationship.

And we’d bet that none of those couples hold an expectation that it is “natural” for the spark to go out.

The great news is this: You can change your expectations. It requires you become aware of the way you tend to think and believe. It also requires you to introduce new thoughts and beliefs into your consciousness.

#2) Find your inner spark and keep feeding your spirit.
Julia has begun to shift her expectations about passion in love relationships and especially marriages. She’s even found a few role model couples that have given her hope that excitement can stay alive in long-term relationships.

While Julia is currently single, she is finding ways to keep her own inner spark flourishing. She’s starting to realize that it’s not the responsibility of her future partner to keep her sense of spirit and spark strong– that’s her job– regardless of her relationship status.

Don’t focus on all of the ways that your partner seemingly fails to ignite a spark in your relationship. Instead, take responsibility for figuring out what helps your heart sing and what makes you feel grateful to be alive, walking around as the person you are.

When two people who are tending and feeding their own inner sparks come together in a relationship, the passion will grow even bigger!

Your spirit might feel nourished and fed as you engage in a hobby, volunteer activity or other activity. It might not be an activity, but a new way of thinking and caring for yourself that helps you to feel more alive.

Whatever works for you, find it and keep on doing it!

#3) Share that sense of passion with your mate.
Don’t worry that your partner will feel threatened as you take a pottery class, write poetry or even go off to play a round of golf.

You can set an example for him or her by making yourself responsible for keeping your inner spark alive. You will also most likely come to interactions with our mate feeling more satisfied, open and relaxed.

But don’t cut out your mate either.

Find ways to share the sense of passion that you feel when you do whatever it is that you do that helps to nourish your spirit.

Even if your partner has no interest in the pottery, the poetry or the golf, he or she can still join in with you. Perhaps your excitement about what you do is similar to his or her excitement about another activity.

Stay open and focus mainly on how much more alive you each feel when you’re tending to your own inner sparks. Honor one another and look for places where your possibly different interests overlap and come together.

Celebrate this and allow connection as both of your passionate feelings converge.

You’re never too old and it’s never too late to re-ignite the spark. Do it for your relationship and do it for yourself.

And that’s all I have to say about that.  Tell us what you think.  We’d love to hear your comments.

Until the next time, here’s bloggin at you….  Scotts Link!

Save Marriage Advice – How to Rebuild Your Relationship by Rekindling the Passion

111365Women always ask me, how do you manage to stay with the same man for so many years and confess that you love him just as much today as you did 23 years ago.  To them I say, It’s not easy and the road has been rough.   When we got married, we vowed to never go to bed angry and to always be willing to listen and keep an open mind. If you have been married for many years, or even for decades, you may come to a point some day when you feel that the spark between both of you seem to be missing. This is because both of you have gotten too comfortable with each other and a routine has been set. You may find that you are spending less time with each other as both of you get busy with your own personal schedule. This is one of the signs that your marriage is on rocks and you need to get some save marriage advice to rebuild your relationship if you still love your spouse. Do not be mistaken that there must be a third party involved because very often life just gets in the way for the couple and in the midst of their career or business building, they forgot about their other half. You will find less time for each other if there are children in the picture. You will start to wonder what has happened to the honeymoon period. It is still not too late to rekindle the flame within your relationship, so long as you still love your spouse. However, you have to take the initiative to make changes to bring that spark back into your relationship. There is no way your problem can be solved without any actions taken. Both of you have to find a way to reconnect with each other if you want to save the marriage. Knowing that a problem exist but nobody wants to do anything about is only waiting for the relationship to end and that is very sad. So what is the first thing you can do to rekindle that passion? Make time for your partner Yes, spending time alone with your spouse is vital to get a relationship to work. Regardless of how long you have been married to your spouse, you still need to go on single dates with him or her. Spending time alone with your partner will ensure that there is nothing else on your mind so you can focus on your spouse. This will help you to understand each other better and can help greatly towards improving your relationship.111371 If you can afford the time and finances to go for a weekend getaway, that will be ideal because there is no way you can return to work and family when you are away from home. However, if that is not possible, going on dinner dates once a month or once a fortnight will also help in improving the marriage. Just make sure that you make arrangement for babysitting so that you do not have to worry about your children when you are on your date. Alternatively, you can also make it a point to go for a leisurely stroll in the park every evening when the kids are sleeping. That is a very romantic and inexpensive activity which can help to make a tremendous difference in your relationship. There are many things you can do to rekindle the passion in your love but it is up to you whether you take the effort to make your relationship work. Nothing will change if you go on the dates only once or twice and return to your usual routine again. No amount of save marriage advice can help you if you do not make an attempt to stick through with changes. And that’s all I have to say about that.  So tell us what you think, we’d love to hear your comments.  And when you get a chance, check out our blog at:  http://scottlnkdesign.com You might find a surprise waiting for you there so check it out. Another site to discover is:  http://Incomeshows.com   Let us know what you think so until the next time, keep bloggin and I’ll see you at the TOP!!!.

Dating, Romance, Love and Marriage – Are These Still in Fashion?

“Where would we all be without romance?”

Almost anyone may say. “Romance is the spice of life,” goes another one that seems quite accurate. “Love is a many-splendored thing it’s the April rose that only blooms in the early spring..”111378 so goes a song by Frank Sinatra and adopted as a theme song by almost any romantic love couple from the 1940’s onwards. However, the great William Shakespeare has this to say, “Men have died and worms have eaten them… but not for love.”

Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames.” enthused Thomas Moore in a cynic mood about romance, love and marriage. Such a lot of effort and ink has been drained in writing about various emotions and feelings involving dating, romance, love and marriage. Many daydream happily and contentedly because of these and many also cried. Courtship, love and marriage are universal concepts. These concepts exist on people’s culture, animals and plants, even in our imagined extraterrestrials, practically everything that live and breathe. They are integral part of our culture. Single red rose flowerIn a society, the basic unit is the family. What will a family be without a marriage of two individuals? How will two individuals marry if there is no romance and love? How will two individuals find romance and love if they do not go out to date, be with each other and learn more about each other? It is truly a chain of concepts.

One does not exist without the other. There are all sorts of scientific, Christian, chemical, biological, and etc. views that explains and expands about them. They can be subjective or objective. They can be an issue of religion and an issue of modern science. The main fact is they exist and they have been in fashion as long as everyone of us can remember. These concepts have been in fashion ever since the oldest human on earth in the Guinness Book of Records was born. With regards to how these concepts come to exist. There are various warring notions about these. Popular Christian belief is that God loves us that is why He made a way for people to feel love because the powerful feelings of love will be the one to wash away the mortal sins of the people. Love will ultimately be the one to bring peace. Dating, romance and marriage all have their versions in the Holy Bible. Would you remember the love stories in the Bible? Even if people have different cultures and customs, Christian people always have believed in love.

Meanwhile, the Greek and Roman mythologies also have their versions about dating, romance, love and marriage that until now affect the modern people. Scientifically, if you would follow Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, we will find that the basis of why the universe and all the things that exist in it is because of nature. With regards to practices, there are many spanning from ancient times until now. During the ancient times, most of the marriages were through capture and not by choice. Meanwhile, the arranged marriages and forced love came up when people began business relationships, borne out of the need for money, property, or political alliances. The Medieval and Victorian eras saw the birth of romantic concepts as a big factor in love and marriage. These eras were also the birth of the dating activities when men would wine and dine the women. “Medieval Chivalry” and “Victorian Formality” were among the famous terms that would best describe these periods. Along these periods were also the birth of customs, beliefs and popular inclination about people regarding dating, romance, love and marriage.

For example, men are the ones who should be entertaining the women and not the other way around during dates. Eventually, especially in patriarchal cultures, men are the dominant ones. Women are regarded helpless and dependent. Especially during the Victorian era, men were knights in shining armors and women are the damsels in distress. Women are more romantic and prone to loving too much. Men are more reasonable and must be dependable. The concepts about sex and procreation also came into play along with romance and love. Nowadays with the diversity in culture and the significant changes in the society, it is but understandable that the views on dating, romance, love and marriage have changed largely. However, they are still concepts very much in fashion. If not why are there so many things that have these things as topics? And why the Sex and the City craze? The girls in here find havoc in terms of dating, romance, love and marriage in the world of NYC but they have hope. It is a testament that dating, romance, love and marriage are still fashionable. What are your feelings about this?  We’d love to hear your comments.  Do you still believe in old fashion love?

When is the last time your mate did something romantic for you?

Check out this site:  Romance lives here:  htttp://scottlnkdesign.com

Until the next time, here’s bloggin at you kid…stay happy, stay in love. Scotts Link!

Marriage Relationship Advice

I have a few marriage relationship advice tips for you. It seems that when we first fall in love with someone it feels like the love will last forever, and we get married with the idea that love and the chemistry will keep us together noDesireme matter what.  It’s funny how, as we grow older our relationships change but we don’t want to change with our relationships. We start to take things for granted and we stop caring.  Once we stop caring, the relationship starts to fade and then the party’s over.  We have to start to think long-term instead of day by day.  When you find your partner, you have to know in your heart and say to yourself that this one is going to be the last one for the rest of your life.  Treat that relationship with the respect that its going to be around long term and it will last.
Today when about half of all marriages end in divorce, it’s clear that just the love and chemistry alone does not work. So it pays to know more before we get married. But if you’re already married, then what? Well here’s some marriage relationship advice that can help before marriage or after that will keep couples together.

My first marriage relationship advice tip would be –

As time passes in a relationship or marriage couples tend to fall into a routine. Doing the same things, going to the same places. Ask your partner out on a date. Do something new and special together. Try going to the zoo, beach, aquarium or a carnival.

On a date you can get dressed up and look your  best, you’ll have more time alone to communicate and be drawn closer together. A date can help bring a dull or stale relationship out of a rut and bring some life back into it.

Another marriage relationship advice tip would be to ask some things about your partner. Do they want kids? Do they want a career? Do they go to church? And much more. You would be surprised how many couples fail to ask about the most simple of topics before they get married. Then after marriage, they still don’t ask the most important questions.

One of the biggest factors in most couples getting a divorce is they fail to ask one another the right questions. If you fail to sit down with your partner and ask them about your future, sex, religion, finances, and many others you’re going to wind up in nothing but argument after argument.

So my marriage relationship advice is to really get to know each other really well. And never let a day pass without a compliment or praise for your partner. Tell them how wonderful they are. Love and romance them and they will return the favor. It is much easier to love if you are loved.
Constantly support your spouse. Cheer for them, don’t boo them or give them the silent treatment.

In the end as a couple you both need to make it your number 1 priority to get to know each other inside and out before you end in a broken relationship.  And that all I have to say about that.  Be true to yourself.  Happiness is waiting for you.

 

It’s all good!!! So until then, keep bloggin and I’ll see you at the TOP!!!!

check out our blog at:

https://scottlnk.wordpress.com

Love and Marriage – Advice For a Happy Relationship

Back in the day, I wouldn’t be known to stay with a man 5 days, let alone 24 years but I just had an anniversary and I can truly say that what I feel today is just as strong as what I felt 24 years ago and the love between us just keeps getting stronger.   We’ve had our days, I must admit.  There were times that I felt like running away but I’m still here and I’m so thankful to God that he taught me how to stand firm and be patient.  Our relationship is truly blessed.  So if you’ve ever thought about running away think long and hard before you walk out that door.  Here’s some things to think about:

Love relationships and marriage are a career in itself – we have to keep working on it everyday. In fact, it is the one of the biggest and most challenging careers of all – along with parenting – because while our jobs involve mainly our mental and physical faculties, relationships involve the emotions within us too, and that makes a big difference. Unlike jobs, in which we can just move on without any emotional struggle, relationship upheavals can really affect our whole being, affecting all other aspects of us that sometimes we just find it hard to function. So before it gets to be an irreparable struggle, what shall we do to keep the love of our life happy?

Love like there is no tomorrow – if your loved one will have 24 hours to live, what will u do for him/her? The problem with some relationships is that, because seeing one’s partner is so commonplace, and that being in a comfort zone knowing you are together everyday, the tendency is to neglect and not realize how much a person means to you until the relationship is challenged or worse, if the person is gone. Think of everyday as your last day to show everything you have got for the person – spontaneous hugs, kisses, reassuring him/her how much u love your partner, seeing things in your partner that you can compliment, these are all seemingly trivial things but they all add up to make you special in the eyes of your loved one.

Be attentive to what he/she needs or wants – Does your partner want or drop hints about something he/she likes? Surprise your partner with it! Sometimes a breakdown of a relationship or marriage is when one becomes frustrated with a partner for not being able to “pick up” what we want or need. I remember one woman whose husband loves racing – she is not fond of it at all, but because it will make her husband happy, she bought tickets for both of them even if it was not really her interest. The value of this especially is instead of your individual interests tearing you apart, you can enjoy his or her activity and thus provide more bonding. Do not confine acts of surprising your partner to special occasions, small but consistent surprises once in awhile is always better than just remembering him or her on birthdays or holidays. It is the spontaneous acts of love “just because” that makes you unforgettable to your partner. Taking some chances to do the unexpected will keep the flames of love lit up.

Take care of your partner, but also take care of yourself – another common flaw. Because we are in a comfort zone of being together we sometimes tend to neglect our physical appearance. Strive to be as appealing to your partner as you can. This is only a physical aspect and there are many other aspects to making yourself indispensable to your partner, but it will always help if we look at all possible angles to keeping a relationship ormarriage happy.

Communicate, communicate, communicate – this can never be emphasized more. Whether it is a compliment, motivating each other, but also when there are upsetting things. Communication is the key – when you are upset, let each other know, but in a nice civil way, no yelling! Regular communication leads to a better understanding of each other and prevents resentment build-up. And listen, really listen with your heart. Know when to say sorry if the need arises. Control your anger and take time to keep quiet rather than say things you might regret later.

Love everyday, give it 100%, take every moment to love, show care, be there for your partner. That way, you become an indispensable partner – be someone he or she loves not because you are someone he/she can live with, but because you are someone he or she cannot live without.  And that’s all I have to say about that. In the meantime, check out our blog, we have some exciting things here:  http://scottlnkdesign.com

If you need a more stable income, check out:  http://scottlnkdesign.com/EP-Website

Don’t forget to add some passion here:  http://designsintuition.com/passion609335

We’d love to hear your comments.  So until then Keep Bloggin….we love it….

Real Love Versus the Fake Stuff

Do you know the difference between real and fake love?

Just like any counterfeit object or characteristic, it can be tricky to know and identify the real from the fake. Sometimes, even experts can’t tell what is genuine and what is not. The fake stuff resembles the real thing in many aspects. The facade can look exactly like the true article. Hollywood sets with their cardboard exteriors are good examples of that. So when it comes to falling in love, if the object of your affection looks good, sounds reasonable, and seems to feel the same way you do, you may not get it that he or she is not what you think they are. What are the defining characteristics that can signal to you what is real and what is fake? What are the warning signs you need to heed? Essentially, the fake love fades away as soon as the chemistry wears off. But love endures, showing up in the actions and deeds of the two people.

Here are the signs of fake love:111442

1. Time

Fake love, which is chemistry only, lasts anywhere from three weeks to a year and a half and then disappears. Real love loses the immediacy of the chemical rush, but retains chemistry while it grows deeper and calmer. The onset of both kinds of love is marked by obsession. For a period of time, the two people in love cannot think about anything but the other one. They may lose weight, lose sleep, and lose all concept of time. Nothing else exists for them except the other person. When this chemical high wears off, the true picture of the person emerges for them. All of the above involves…time.

2. Projection

Fake love, based primarily on physical intimacy, is what two people assume about each other.  They can’t see future problems. Idealized qualities, lives built on fantasy, and a perfect life together dominates their thoughts. Each one insists that the other one is the greatest person they have ever met. The problem is, they haven’t really MET each other yet. They are relating to their idealized version. When this cyclone of projection ends and the dust settles, the true person emerges. Then they can decide if they are right for each other.

3. Fairy Tales

Counterfeit love feeds off of the stuff of fairy tales. The women in the story want Prince Charming. They will have riches, happiness, love, and all dreams come true. The man in the story, who feels like a frog and may even look like one, is kissed by the princess. He miraculously turns into a handsome, dashing Prince. When two people get together and fall into the chemical cocktail, they unconsciously can fall into this stylized story. Only when the chemicals wear off do they actually see each other. They may like each other, in which case, real love may develop. Or- the chemicals become toxic, the guy goes back to being a frog, and she looks for another prince.

4. The Future

When two people meet and fall into chemistry, they may begin to plan their future together within weeks. Their “real” selves are not talking to each other here – it’s their spiced, fried, scrambled brain that can’t be trusted to make clear decisions. What does REAL love look like? It is able to get past the chemistry phase and into real-time. Fake love involves conflict, drama, and pain, once the chemistry wears off. Real love evolves into service, thought, care, and sincere emotions for the other. Real love is shown in loving acts – over and over – with no one keeping score. Real love responds to the needs of the other, flowing effortlessly from one day to the next.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

We would love to hear your comments, just tell us what you think.  and  while you’re at it, check out these sites.  There are all kinds of solutions for Matters of the Heart.

go to:  http://scottlnkdesign.com    for your favorite love potion.

If you want to get paid  go to:  http://scottlnkdesign.com/EP-Website

For a little passion:  http://designsintuition.com/passion ..this site will blow your mind. Until then, here’s bloggin at you kid!!!! Scotts Link!!