Down Boy! Do you want more oral sex but feel weird about asking for it? The truth is most guys really want to go downtown – some just need to be pushed a little.
It has been said that all’s fair in love and war, but when it comes to oral sex, things just aren’t. A full half of twenty-something guys revealed that they had received oral sex in the past month, compared with just over a third of women, per a recent study done by the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. While two-thirds of the survey said they wish their mate would go south more often, 49 percent are too shy to make the request. It’s time to even the score, sisters!
What’s Holding Him Back? Before you can get him down to business, you need to figure out why he’s been lax. Chances are it’s not because he’s lazy.
- Mixed Signals – Nearly 63 percent of guys in a recent men’s health survey said that what keeps them from going down on a woman is her “no thanks” vibe. It could be that if you turned him down during your period or immediately post-gym, your guy may have gotten the impression that you’re not into oral sex at all. So clear things up. After the next time you take a trip downtown, during the afterglow, say something non- accusatory like, “Hey, you’re so good at going down on me, and I’m dying for more,” suggests sex therapist Lori Hollander, founder of the Center for Real Intimacy in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
- Tunnel Vision – Guys can be so focused on sliding into home that they forget how mind-blowing-and necessary-clitoral stimulation can be for you, says sexuality counselor Ian Kerner, Ph.D., coauthor of The Big Fun Sexy Sex Book. If your partner heads south only sporadically and doesn’t stay long, Kerner suggests you tell him that your orgasms from oral sex are often more intense than they are when he’s inside you, and that you’d like to finish that way once in a while before moving on to intercourse.
- Performance Jitters – Can we all agree that as a man’s tool is way easier to figure out than yours” Instead of fumbling around down there, some guys skip the whole thing for fear of embarrassing themselves. If your guy gives you oral but doesn’t seem able to get into a groove or he constantly changes tongue techniques, he probably doesn’t know what he’s doing and is insecure about it. Kerner’s fix: Drop a line that’s both encouraging and educational, like, “I’ve been having these fantasies of us fooling around, and then you go down on me and really gently use your mouth, just tiny licks with the tip of your tongue.”
- Bad Memories – A minority of men just don’t like giving oral sex, says clinical sexologist Amy Cooper, Ph.D., author of The Everything Orgasm Book. But it’s often because of a bad experience, like being with someone who freaked out, seemed disinterested, or had a vaginal infection and didn’t know it, she says. One approach: Take your action into the shower so he can feel confident about the freshness factor. Once that hurdle is cleared, he may feel less reluctant. If not, he may need therapy, says Cooper.
- A few tips for the ladies: Always keep the coochie fresh and clean and you’ll always be prepared. If you’ve just had your period, be sure to douche real good afterward to get rid of that stale smell. Take care of yourself and your mate will take care of you..
Until the next time..Let us know your comments. Do you like oral sex? How do you get your mate in the mood? Tell Us, we want to hear from you. Until the next time Keep Bloggin and check out our site: http://scottlnkdesign.com
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