Cover via Amazon
The #1 Time to Have His Back
Any good woman knows how important it is to be by her man’s side when life is kicking him in the nads – like when his boss reams him out for no reason. He comes home and he doesn’t really know how to talk about it because he’s not sure what your reaction might be. What you might not know is that the stuff you do and say during his happy moments is actually more vital to your long term contentment as a couple, according to a study from the University of California at Los Angeles.
If your partner has a bad day, often the most you can do is bring him back to baseline or a “non-stressed” state. But good times offer the potential to move beyond this baseline, building a solid foundation for your relationship, explains study author Shelly Gable, Ph.D. And missing out on these opportunities may do more damage than you think: Couples who blow off each other’s highs are less satisfied, less trusting, less intimate, and at greater risk for calling it quits, says Gable.
Here, the best ways to give him props:
Show Some Enthusiasm – No need to dust off your high school pom-poms but you do have to do some cheerleading if your guy scores a promotion or closes an important deal. When he comes home and shares his good news, stop what you’re doing and tell him how happy you are for him. If you’re having reservations about his news (the promotion means he’ll have to work late more often), keep them to yourself. Voicing them now will only rain on his parade.
Be Curious – Give your husband or boyfriend an excuse to brag. “Asking questions allows him to highlight his strengths and makes it clear you’re interested in what’s important to him,” says clinical social worker Marty Babits, author of The Power of the Middle Ground. If he finally snagged that client he’s been chasing for weeks, ask him how he pulled it off. “You want to join him in the experience so he feels you’re right there with him,” says Babits. Bonus: Your curiosity will make him feel more comfortable confiding in you about future goals and dreams, bringing you closer.
Acknowledge What It Means to Him – Next time he’s beaming over his softball team’s victory, validate his feelings by confirming the event’s importance. Tell him you know how badly he wanted to win the league championship and how happy you are it happened for him. “When you give a nod to the fact that he wanted this, you show him you know him inside and out and have intimate knowledge of what matters to him,” says Gable. This applies even if you think his interest is juvenile. (He still camps out to score Phish tickets? Really?) Treat what he loves with respect.
Pay Attention – A heads-up on body language: “Nonverbal clues that make you seem indifferent can undermine your kind or supportive words,” says Harry Reis, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester in New York.
This is what you don’t want to do when your partner is trying to express their thoughts: Pick at your nails. Look out the window, or simply just crossing your arms can project a lack of interest.
What you can do: Look him or her straight in the eye, smile, and lean forward to show you’re receptive and engage in what he’s telling you,” says Reis. With these facts, you can’t go wrong.
Share your comments. Do you stand by your mate? We’d love to hear from you. In the meantime check out this blog it’s very entertaining: http://scottlnkdesign.com
When you are ready to change your life follow me here:
Love Changes 