Love for One or Love for All?

3DMainBookWell, I guess that really is the question right? We’ve all seen movies like The Notebook or my all time favorite Titanic — even though it had a very sad ending nonetheless it’s a love story. Love is powerful so powerful that it really does affect your emotions from being really happy one moment to sad the next. It seems like each year the love I have for my husband gets stronger by the year, by the day, or better yet by the hour. See that’s the thing I personally love for one and then I love for all so there are no sides.

Let me explain. I have been in love since I was a teenage girl with my husband for a very long time. I have loved all my life. There’s a slight difference of course. I remember listening to those old soft jams late at night that made my heart melt. I’m what they call the hopeless romantic. I believe one can be happy if he/she is in love. I’m not saying that you can’t fall in love over and over again, I actually hear you can but there’s always that one special guy/girl that takes your breath away. Now the downfall is, just as much as you love them you could hate them just the same.

That’s where the power of love comes in many shapes of emotions. You know how one day you’re in a really good mood but then one little thing could turn your smile into a frown? Love works just the same. Think about that night you got so angry at your spouse, or boyfriend, girlfriend, etc and you said the most meanest thing ever. Whoa now, how could you say you love that person so much but yet you hit it, right where it hurts. Well, there it goes again the shapes of emotions. Some days you will feel head over heals and other days you’d actually feel sad or distant but that doesn’t mean that you’re not in love anymore.

111378Now when you love for all you’re loving everything about your life. Your family, your friends, your accomplishments, your favorite TV show, etc. But just like being in love you will go through the shapes of emotions and some day you may hate those things. Love isn’t something you just say and go on about your day. Say it to yourself one evening while sipping on your favorite beverage and watch how it just rolls out of your tongue and the feeling you get when you say it. Everyone wants to be loved, and be in love as well. The point is, there are going to be days where you want to give up and sadly throw it all away.

But you should never take advantage of the power of love because love is a part of life. I don’t know maybe one day you decide to give up because your ego got in the way or you’ve fallen in love with someone else. Or sadly maybe the other half fell out of love with you — hey it happens. You just have to continue living life and loving all around you because without love you may be lost. Remember this saying by Alfred Lord Tennyson:

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
In the meantime, we need to hear your comments.  For now,  keep bloggin and I’ll see you at the TOP!!!

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce And Rekindle The Love

Many couples are desperate and in need of help and information on how to save a marriage from divorce and get back that “lovin’ feeling” that brought them together in the first place. Too many marriages today have either ended in divorce, are in the process of divorce, or unknowingly headed for divorce. It’s a brutal statistic but 50% of marriages today will be destroyed through a divorce, and that is a conservative estimate!  111359

The great news in all this is that divorce does not need to be the ultimate outcome of your relationship woes. There is so much you can do, right now, to stop the negative momentum in your relationship that is quickly pushing your marriage towards the divorce statistics.

If you are interested and open to learning how to save a marriage from divorce I think you will find this article helpful, and I truly hope that you will take what I share and apply it immediately to your relationship. Time is of the essence when your marriage is on the line. Truth is if you are at this stage and worried about divorce you have already put things off too long. So I challenge and encourage you to read this and then start applying what you learn this very night!

Before you can save your marriage you need to isolate the problems that are threatening it. You can’t fight an enemy you can’t see. If your marriage is in trouble there are a few, tell-tale, signs that you need to be aware of and then confront. They include:

1. A lack of desire to be together – This is a huge red flag and needs to be dealt with yesterday! If you and your partner find it painful to “hang-out” and find that you would rather do “whatever” either on your own or with a friend, then very likely there is a serious problem with your relationship. While it is true that everyone is busy, if your daily activities, work commitments, time spent with children and friends so dominate your schedule that there is no time left for your spouse, there is serious trouble brewing and this issue needs to be addressed. If spending time together is not a top priority, then you need to stop everything and re-prioritize your life. How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love has to include quality time spent together with your spouse!

2. A feeling of resentment – If there is an underlying sense of resentment, (towards your spouse or vice-versa), or perhaps it is even outright, in your face resentment, then you need to be alarmed! This is not a healthy aspect for any marriage and will eat away at your relationship like rust on steroids! If resentment is causing you to feel that you don’t even like your spouse anymore, then your marriage is in a major crisis and you need to take immediate action.

3. A lack or void of intimacy – If you and your spouse have not been intimate for a long time, and it doesn’t seem to bother you, then this is another red flag that should cause you to be concerned. If you are really interested in how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, than you have to take a serious look at the intimacy factor in your relationship. While a lack of sex does not mean a marriage is on the rocks, a total lack of intimacy is a good indicator that this is the case. Intimacy is more complex than just sex and includes enjoyment and fulfillment from tender moments spent together, through hugging, kissing, snuggling and just being together physically.

4. An inability to communicate – Another indicator that your marriage is in trouble and may be headed for divorce is when you and your spouse don’t talk or “discuss” things normally anymore; you merely argue and disagree about everything. If conversation has become a chore and it seems easier to just not talk than have to deal with the emotional stress and anxiety you feel after verbal interaction, then now is the time to sit up, take notice and make some serious changes. Open, healthy communication is an absolute essential part of a strong, fulfilling marriage. You will not discover how to save your marriage from divorce until you first discover how to communicate properly and lovingly.

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Requires A Game Plan:

OK, now that we have identified some definite red flags and you realize that your relationship troubles may be more serious than you thought, we need to look at positive measures to take now to bring healing and restoration. The following suggestions will answer, in part, the nagging question of, “How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love again”:

* The first step to bringing healing into your marriage is to open up the lines of communication. You need to take the time to talk. This won’t happen on its own, you must make the time. This needs to be a two-way dialogue where you and your spouse open up to one another and share your concerns. Be honest and address the problems, openly sharing your ideas and thoughts. You and your spouse deserve to know how each other are feeling. Then, together, establish helpful and reasonable solutions.

* Be sure to stay calm and never raise your voice during this time of reconnecting and communicating. Go out of your way to be polite and respectful in your communication skills. The tone of voice and body language can speak volumes, so be aware of both. At all costs, avoid accusations and finger-pointing. If your spouse feels threatened it will be “game-over”. After you have shared your concerns listen carefully, and intently, to your partner’s response and then be proactive in working with her/him in coming up with restorative resolutions of how to save a marriage from divorce.

* If you have success in communicating then continue spending time together working things out. No matter how busy “life” gets couples that want to stay together must find the time to shut out the rest of the world and be alone. You will each, most likely, have to reduce your obligations, but it will be so worth it. Learning how to save a marriage from divorce will involve retraining yourselves and rethinking your priorities.

* Plan a date night! It seems so cliche but it is effective. Even if it only happens once or twice a month, you will find this, alone time, to be extraordinarily advantageous to restoring your relationship. It will enable you to reconnect with one another, helping you to identify and appreciate each other all over again and give you a sense of just how valuable your marriage really is. Do not underestimate the value of this step in your plan of how to save a marriage from divorce.adoreebook

The key of how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, is to first and foremost recognize that there is a serious problem and then become immediately proactive in addressing the issues and working together to find, and implement, solutions that will bring reconciliation and healing to the relationship. There is no better time than the present to begin, and time is of the essence…

All the best!

Why Passion is So Important in Your Relationship and Life

Passion is intense feeling, strong excitement, strong affection, love, intense desire and enthusiasm. You can have passion for anything or anyone. We all have a basic need to feel passion.

In other words, passion or being passionate is the fire in our eyes, in our bodies and in our lives that drives us forward–whether it’s for our work, our hobbies, or for our relationships.
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When people lose passion or fire in their lives or in their relationships, you can sure tell it. They go through their lives as if they are on auto-pilot and the joy just seems to have leaked out of them.

When people have passion for life or their relationships, you can also see it and feel it, even if they are quiet about it. Having passion is a way of living every moment of your life to its fullest.

Whether you are waiting in line at the bank, helping your children with homework or talking with your partner, a co-worker or family member–when you have and are living your life with passion, your heart is open to experiencing the joys of connecting with others or even with yourself.

To us, having passion means being truthful, being both powerful and vulnerable, having a willingness to stay and go deeper, taking responsibility for creating what we want in our lives, being open and allowing inner radiance to shine through–and of course being open to connecting with others, as well as with ourselves.

Our list could go on and on and you would probably have other ways of defining what it means to you that would also work– but you get the idea.

What we have discovered is that when it comes to having and feeling passion, you know when you have it and you also know when you don’t.

We were just thinking about a time recently when the two of us had a misunderstanding that could have turned into an ugly situation but didn’t because neither one of us closed to the other. We kept our hearts open to each other and continued working out our differences while we went about our daily activities and work. That’s having and keeping passion for each other and for keeping our relationship alive, growing, close and connected.

Having passion can mean many things in your life and your relationship. We invite you to decide what you are passionate about having in your life and then be open to doing what you need to do to keeping it that way.111350

Dating, Romance, Love and Marriage – Are These Still in Fashion?

“Where would we all be without romance?”

Almost anyone may say. “Romance is the spice of life,” goes another one that seems quite accurate. “Love is a many-splendored thing it’s the April rose that only blooms in the early spring..”111378 so goes a song by Frank Sinatra and adopted as a theme song by almost any romantic love couple from the 1940’s onwards. However, the great William Shakespeare has this to say, “Men have died and worms have eaten them… but not for love.”

Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames.” enthused Thomas Moore in a cynic mood about romance, love and marriage. Such a lot of effort and ink has been drained in writing about various emotions and feelings involving dating, romance, love and marriage. Many daydream happily and contentedly because of these and many also cried. Courtship, love and marriage are universal concepts. These concepts exist on people’s culture, animals and plants, even in our imagined extraterrestrials, practically everything that live and breathe. They are integral part of our culture. Single red rose flowerIn a society, the basic unit is the family. What will a family be without a marriage of two individuals? How will two individuals marry if there is no romance and love? How will two individuals find romance and love if they do not go out to date, be with each other and learn more about each other? It is truly a chain of concepts.

One does not exist without the other. There are all sorts of scientific, Christian, chemical, biological, and etc. views that explains and expands about them. They can be subjective or objective. They can be an issue of religion and an issue of modern science. The main fact is they exist and they have been in fashion as long as everyone of us can remember. These concepts have been in fashion ever since the oldest human on earth in the Guinness Book of Records was born. With regards to how these concepts come to exist. There are various warring notions about these. Popular Christian belief is that God loves us that is why He made a way for people to feel love because the powerful feelings of love will be the one to wash away the mortal sins of the people. Love will ultimately be the one to bring peace. Dating, romance and marriage all have their versions in the Holy Bible. Would you remember the love stories in the Bible? Even if people have different cultures and customs, Christian people always have believed in love.

Meanwhile, the Greek and Roman mythologies also have their versions about dating, romance, love and marriage that until now affect the modern people. Scientifically, if you would follow Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, we will find that the basis of why the universe and all the things that exist in it is because of nature. With regards to practices, there are many spanning from ancient times until now. During the ancient times, most of the marriages were through capture and not by choice. Meanwhile, the arranged marriages and forced love came up when people began business relationships, borne out of the need for money, property, or political alliances. The Medieval and Victorian eras saw the birth of romantic concepts as a big factor in love and marriage. These eras were also the birth of the dating activities when men would wine and dine the women. “Medieval Chivalry” and “Victorian Formality” were among the famous terms that would best describe these periods. Along these periods were also the birth of customs, beliefs and popular inclination about people regarding dating, romance, love and marriage.

For example, men are the ones who should be entertaining the women and not the other way around during dates. Eventually, especially in patriarchal cultures, men are the dominant ones. Women are regarded helpless and dependent. Especially during the Victorian era, men were knights in shining armors and women are the damsels in distress. Women are more romantic and prone to loving too much. Men are more reasonable and must be dependable. The concepts about sex and procreation also came into play along with romance and love. Nowadays with the diversity in culture and the significant changes in the society, it is but understandable that the views on dating, romance, love and marriage have changed largely. However, they are still concepts very much in fashion. If not why are there so many things that have these things as topics? And why the Sex and the City craze? The girls in here find havoc in terms of dating, romance, love and marriage in the world of NYC but they have hope. It is a testament that dating, romance, love and marriage are still fashionable. What are your feelings about this?  We’d love to hear your comments.  Do you still believe in old fashion love?

When is the last time your mate did something romantic for you?

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Until the next time, here’s bloggin at you kid…stay happy, stay in love. Scotts Link!

Real Love Versus the Fake Stuff

Do you know the difference between real and fake love?

Just like any counterfeit object or characteristic, it can be tricky to know and identify the real from the fake. Sometimes, even experts can’t tell what is genuine and what is not. The fake stuff resembles the real thing in many aspects. The facade can look exactly like the true article. Hollywood sets with their cardboard exteriors are good examples of that. So when it comes to falling in love, if the object of your affection looks good, sounds reasonable, and seems to feel the same way you do, you may not get it that he or she is not what you think they are. What are the defining characteristics that can signal to you what is real and what is fake? What are the warning signs you need to heed? Essentially, the fake love fades away as soon as the chemistry wears off. But love endures, showing up in the actions and deeds of the two people.

Here are the signs of fake love:111442

1. Time

Fake love, which is chemistry only, lasts anywhere from three weeks to a year and a half and then disappears. Real love loses the immediacy of the chemical rush, but retains chemistry while it grows deeper and calmer. The onset of both kinds of love is marked by obsession. For a period of time, the two people in love cannot think about anything but the other one. They may lose weight, lose sleep, and lose all concept of time. Nothing else exists for them except the other person. When this chemical high wears off, the true picture of the person emerges for them. All of the above involves…time.

2. Projection

Fake love, based primarily on physical intimacy, is what two people assume about each other.  They can’t see future problems. Idealized qualities, lives built on fantasy, and a perfect life together dominates their thoughts. Each one insists that the other one is the greatest person they have ever met. The problem is, they haven’t really MET each other yet. They are relating to their idealized version. When this cyclone of projection ends and the dust settles, the true person emerges. Then they can decide if they are right for each other.

3. Fairy Tales

Counterfeit love feeds off of the stuff of fairy tales. The women in the story want Prince Charming. They will have riches, happiness, love, and all dreams come true. The man in the story, who feels like a frog and may even look like one, is kissed by the princess. He miraculously turns into a handsome, dashing Prince. When two people get together and fall into the chemical cocktail, they unconsciously can fall into this stylized story. Only when the chemicals wear off do they actually see each other. They may like each other, in which case, real love may develop. Or- the chemicals become toxic, the guy goes back to being a frog, and she looks for another prince.

4. The Future

When two people meet and fall into chemistry, they may begin to plan their future together within weeks. Their “real” selves are not talking to each other here – it’s their spiced, fried, scrambled brain that can’t be trusted to make clear decisions. What does REAL love look like? It is able to get past the chemistry phase and into real-time. Fake love involves conflict, drama, and pain, once the chemistry wears off. Real love evolves into service, thought, care, and sincere emotions for the other. Real love is shown in loving acts – over and over – with no one keeping score. Real love responds to the needs of the other, flowing effortlessly from one day to the next.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

We would love to hear your comments, just tell us what you think.  and  while you’re at it, check out these sites.  There are all kinds of solutions for Matters of the Heart.

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The Importance of Dating Before Marriage..Should You or Should You Not?

DesiremeDating before marriage is essential. It helps an individual make the decision whether they want to live with the other person for the rest of their life or not. Dating before marriage is usually referred to as courtship, because the relationship has passed the stage of just getting to know each other, but tailoring it towards marriage. The debate surrounding dating and marriage has been in existence for a while now, with some people advocating for it, and others against it all together. Nevertheless, going on dates that leads to marriage or not is still common. This indicates that it is still relevant for a majority of people. When planning to get married, there are a variety of reasons why dating before marriage is necessary and they include: First, dating before marriage helps you understand your partner better so that you can be able to get along with minimal conflict. The merging of two people from diverse backgrounds is likely to bring with it a lot of ups and downs, so it is better to go through the struggles before marriage, to know if you can cope with them before marriage. Second, when dating with the main goal being to get married, it helps the couple focus on what they should expect in marriage. This focus will help you evaluate whether you are ready for marriage or not, and the responsibilities that come with it. There are some couples that have realized while dating before marriage, that they are not compatible with each other and have ended the relationship before getting married. Third, understanding each other’s likes as well as dislikes are most likely to be discovered when dating before marriage. The more you understand your partner, the more likely you will be able to get along even better within the marriage. It is during this courtship period that you get to know what you can handle, and characteristics that you will not be able to live with. Fourth, future plans and ambitions of a couple are discovered when dating before marriage as they discuss different aspects of their lives. Most of the time, the plans and even ambitions of each partner may differ because they are living individual lives. However, as the courtship progresses it is important to be aware of the possibility of harmonizing future plans, so that you have the same focus. Fifth, dating before marriage strengthens a relationship because of the various life situations that the couple has to go through together as they prepare for marriage. It is in these life situations that you see your partner for who they are, and their ability to handle different situations that may also arise in marriage. However, for some couples, these situations open up their eyes to the realities of the life they are likely to live in marriage and they choose to opt out. Results of not dating before marriage Even with the importance of dating before marriage being emphasized in different types of publications, and married people, there are still couples that decide to forgo dating and just get married. The most obvious result of not getting to know each other before marriage is divorce. Many people who are divorced now, are likely to not have dated before making a decision to get married, and found that they are unable to handle the responsibilities of marriage or to live with the person they married. Another result of not dating before walking down the aisle is that you are not aware of the goal of the marriage. Lack of focus on where the marriage is heading is likely to bring about conflict because everyone has their own life that they want to live within the marriage. A marriage that does not have a common goal is likely to disintegrate at the first sign of trouble. In addition, friendship in dating is developed over time, and this cannot be done without courtship between two people. Friendship is important in a marriage because there are times when the feelings of love will not be there, but because you are friends, there are other points of connection. Overall, dating before marriage is important and should not be neglected if a marriage is to have a chance of survival.

And that’s really all I have to say about that.  We’d love to hear your comments.  Tell us what you think.  You Could win a FREE IPAD  check out:  http://scottlnkdesign.com or go to:  http://scottlnkdesign.com/EP-Website
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Do Happy Marriages/Relationships Exist?

adoreebookHave you ever wondered how the people in happy marriages do it? Like how do they manage to be loving to their spouse day in and day out, no matter how cranky they are? How is it that these happy couples can put the needs of their significant other before their own needs all the time? Are they selfless? Not to mention trust. Most of us don’t know what it is to be able to fully trust ourselves, let alone another person, but people in happy marriages will tell you that it’s one of the main elements of a good relationship, so how do they manage to balance all of it?

It Is Not a Juggling Act, But Sometimes It Can Feel Like It Is

There are some basic elements of relationships that will allow you to go to the next level, from dating, to engagement, to marriage. It’s pretty unlikely that you would have gotten into a committed relationship with the person you’re married to if you didn’t have some of the essential building blocks for happy marriages at the beginning, so chances are that somewhere along the lines, factors such as mortgage payments, jobs and kids got in the way of the way that the two of you interact, so you’re going to have to bring it back out.

What to Nurture

Yes, there is that word – nurture. You need to work to nurture certain aspects of your relationship so that the two of you can feel that you’re in a solid committed relationship where you really and truly matter to each other. In other words, even though you both know that life would go on without the other one, it wouldn’t be nearly as fabulous. Stop thinking only about what you as an individual can do and start thinking about what you as a couple can do and you might begin to see what makes happy marriages tick.

Remember when you were a kid and you used to want to hang out with your best friend all the time? You did everything together and your parents thought that they had adopted a child. How fun was that? Now, you married your best friend, right? Well, maybe not, but happy marriages all around the world will tell you that life can be like one big “camp out” with your best friend. Start looking for ways to laugh together. Talk about everything. Like what interests them and you individually and you as a couple. The key is to show an interest in what your spouse is interested in and they will reciprocate for you and that’s a friendship.

Don’t forget to make time for intimacy. If your partner sees you make time for them in a completely giving way, not a ‘taking’ way, they will feel loved, not used. This is very important in any happy relationship and you will find all happy marriages have the couple loving one another intimately and with ‘loving respect.’ Building trust and self esteem in each other, will also take you into the land of happier marriages faster than you could realize. When your partner sees that you accept everything about them, they will drop the guarded, fearful behavior and let the real them shine. Remember that happy relationships have their own rhythm and take their own time. Yes, happy marriages do exist. So, from now on, focus on you and your relationship and work on getting yourselves to a state of happiness in your marriage everyday.

7 Rules in the Dating Game

410133It is a well considered opinion that the best approach to dating is to see it as a game. All games have rules. From the traditional to the professional games of all shades and colours, rules are at the base of its enjoyment. The dating game is not left out. In fact, knowing the dating game rules and playing by it is a sine quo non for success in dating. These dating rules are applicable throughout the season of dating and beyond and would be helpful in sustaining the courtship and marriage relationships that could flow from a dating relationship. It applies to younger people who are dating for the purpose of socialization as well as the older people who are dating for the purpose of marriage. These rules also apply to relationships unrelated to dating, courtship and marriage. Learned and applied on other facets of life, these rules would give one the advantage in situations where dealing with other people are involved.

Rule 1: Independence and Sense of Self-worth

Your primary concern in any relationship – regardless of what kind of relationship it is – is to be yourself. This means that you need to know what you want from life and the relationship. You need to love and respect yourself. You need to know that you are an individual with potential for the best in life and not be prepared to settle for less. You might ask yourself these questions before you take up the dating bull by its horns – Who do I think that I am? What do I want from this relationship? Where are my moral boundaries? How much do I love myself? It would be a great idea to measure your self-esteem and self-confidence levels and ascertain that you are absolutely sure that you could not be confused by veiled seductive signals from the opposite sex.

Rule 2: Be prepared to create and have fun

The base purpose of all games is to create and have fun. There is no reason the dating game should be otherwise. When we try to make other people happy, we are happy ourselves. So, this is a rule you can derive its dual benefits with one act. The law of reciprocity comes to play here. If you give, you receive, most times double or ten times over. The next time, therefore, you have a date coming, remember this rule and get prepared in your mind on those things you can do to create fun for your partner so that you can also have fun. The success of any dating effort is rated by how much fun both partners had. If you deliberately plan and do make your date feel happy while you were out together, the better you feel yourself. It must be stated, though, that the fun spoken about here is not fornication – sexual intercourse.

Rule 3: Effective Communication

Effective communication is the bedrock of all relationships whether or not connected to affairs of the heart. Nowhere is this more critical than in the affairs of the heart. In fact, the dating and courtship period of every relationship is the time to learn and apply this rule so that one would be wise in it. In effective communication, you are not only just required to communicate well; you are required to help your partner to understand you. This could be a thorny challenge in life. Without effective communication, it would be difficult to find friendship, trust, respect, love, understanding, etc where the requisite building blocks of the foundation for joyful relationships are based. This is a critical rule. The Achilles’ heel to this rule is premarital sex. One of the ways to learn and apply this rule is to ask a lot of questions throughout the dating meeting.

Rule 4: Be Prepared To Discuss Differences

It is not all the time that your ability to communicate or obey rules would give you a smooth ride in a dating relationship. There are times that communication breaks down even between two people who may have thought that all is going well with their relationship. During those stormy seasons in a growing relationship, the ability to calmly discuss the differences is very helpful. Sometimes it is the only security for the relationship to continue. To be able to work through these rough waters of relationship, both partners should be willing to put all the cards on the table and discuss their differences with respect for each other’s boundaries and individuality.

Rule 5: Nurture Your Relationship

Every dating relationship and indeed all relationships, whether business, social, intimate and even the ultimate, marriage, need to be nurtured to keep going. Constant appreciation, value, consideration, reciprocity and thoughtfulness all help in showing each partner that he/she is cherished and valued and gives them a feeling that they have a place in your life. It must be stated though that these does not include sexual favors. In fact, premarital sex would harm the relationship badly.

Rule 6: Avoid Premarital Sex

There many reasons why you should avoid premarital sex. If that does not appeal to you, it would be wise to note that it is a breaking of the rule of the game of dating to have sexual intercourse during dating. The only time sexual intercourse is acceptable in human relationships is in lawful and legal wedlock. Premarital sex would take away the opportunity to build friendship and trust which are critical for the future development of the relationship to courtship and marriage. Premarital sex scuttles the ability of couples to learn and apply effective communication.

Rule 7: Ask The Most Important Questions On The First Date

This is critical especially if you are dating for the purpose of marriage. Some people believe it would have been better if the critical questions like family finance, how many children, extended family, demographics, sex, religion, etc, should be asked after the dating relationship has advanced far and may be into courtship. On the contrary, it best to trash the thorny issues first. If for example you are dating for marriage, is there any reason to waste several months with a man or woman whose financial plan, religion, demographics, number of children, sex and extended family ideas are at variance with yours. You can trash these issues on the first date and that would help you know whether you should see the person again.

New Rules to the Dating Game

404607 There are new rules to the dating game and you have to be ready to play.  Things have changed.  Age is just a number to most of us.  If we meet someone and the rhythm clicks, then it’s a go. The most important thing to remember now is that it’s your time to be happy.  You’ve spent most of your life giving to others so now it is time to give back to yourself. So what do you do?  What is your first approach?  There are tons of dating services, they all seemed to be ranked the same. It’s very hard to pick up the phone and say, I need a date because you don’t know what’s on the other end and you have to be careful what you wish for.  You might just get it.  So are you ready?  What has brought you to this point?  You’re 55 years old and you woke up one day to find that your husband of 30 years has walked out on you for a younger women.  It was so devastating but you’ve managed to get pass that.  You let yourself go for a while because nothing seemed to matter.  You thought that the man you married would be the one and only man in your life.  He’s the only man in the world that knows everything about you.  He knows how you laugh, how you cry, your touch, your smell.  He knows everything about you.  Your most intimate secrets so how do you start all over again getting to know a stranger.  There are so many good qualities in my ex that I could never replace.  So I don’t know if I can even look at another man.  Let alone him putting his rod in me which I’m sure he will expect to happen sooner or later.  I really don’t know how to handle this dating thing.  I pray that God will give me the strength to start over.  I don’t want to be lonely.  I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night to reach over and find my bed cold and empty.  What do I do?  I could just stop and live the rest of my life as a lonely old woman or I could put the past behind me and go on living.  I wished I knew what to do.  I thought that my husband would love me forever.  I didn’t see this coming.  I can’t turn back time but I can wash away a little gray, buy some sexy underwear.  Start taking better care of my body.  The main thing is, I want to feel good about myself for me.  If by chance I do run into someone who is kind and makes me laugh maybe we’ll sit down and have a meaningful conversation.  Then we’ll go from there.  I wonder how many women are facing the same thing I’m facing right now.   What will be the downfall of my life?  There so many things that I have to deal with now, the hot flashes, the night sweats, the irritable mood swings and being alone.  But for now I’m going to get ready for the dating game and checkout what’s available.  When I find something I’ll let you know.  And that’s all I have to say about that.  So what are your comments?  Are you ready for the dating game?  Send me your comments.  We’d love to hear what you have to say.  Maybe we can help each other.  So let’s talk…In the meantime, keep blogging.  Hey check out these sites.  On one of them, they’re giving away a free IPAD just for joining their group so check out the links to find the one.

Later

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To Be or Not To Be – Is Love The Answer

111365Is this really the question?  I’ve taken care of you for 15 years and now you’re ready to leave.  I’m good enough to scrub your clothes but I’m not good enough to marry.  I gave you everything I had and now you’ve made a child with someone else.  To be or not to be, that is the question. 

Introducing James and Monica

James and Monica met at the University.  Monica was very shy but James was very outspoken.  Very popular with the ladies.  Everyone adored him so he had plenty of friends.  Monica still reflects back on the day that James asked her out on a date.  She immediately said yes and from that day one they were inseparable.  Monica found as time went on she was doing everything to please James to keep him happy.  From dusk to dawn she waited on him hand and foot.  He never had to worry about a thing.  She loved him so much.  He meant the world to her.  Then one day after a hard day at work, Monica decided that she wanted to do something really special for James.  Since it was their 15th anniversary, she decided to take him out on the town.  She had it all planned, she would be waiting for him when he walked through the door with his favorite bottle of wine.  She would whisk him off to their favorite restaurant where they would have dinner by candlelight.  And then, they would come home and set the mood for some all-night passionate love making.  It doesn’t get any better than this.  She could hardly wait to surprise him.  James had left unusually early for work today without even mentioning their anniversary.  This was ok though because Monica knew he had a lot on his mine. His job was so demanding of him and she was so understanding in this area.  This was one of the qualities that James loved about her was her ability to be so understanding and never pressuring him when he had to spend extra hours away.  She was so thankful for their beautiful 2 story home with the 3 Cadillac’s and Mercedes Benz.  She had everything a woman could want and even more.  No worries there.  As Monica arrived home it was a little after six and she knew that she had at least another hour before James would be walking through the door.  Every minuet that passed made her more and more excited.  Just the wait alone would drive her mad.  At the front of the door she turns her key and starts to walk in.  A cold rush comes across her body, nothing like she’s ever felt before.  Something’s wrong she says to herself and she hurriedly flips on the lights.  Oh my God, we’ve been robbed.  Robbed, she gasped, what robber would take the time to remove all of the furniture and then it suddenly hit her.  We haven’t been robbed, James has left me.  Somehow he’s come home during the day and removed everything from our home.  Looking across the room where the dinner table used to be, there’s a letter.   As I picked it up to read it said:  Dear Monica, I’m sorry things have to end this way and I know you’re probably thinking that this is a shitty way to leave but the truth is, I don’t love you anymore.  To be or not to be, that is the question, I had to ask myself after living in a miserable life for 15 years.  I had to find the courage to go.  There is someone in my life that I love very much and we have a baby on the way.  It’s a boy and it’s due any day now.  So I’m sorry, I’ll leave you some money in the bank.  This will help out until you get on your feet.  Please don’t try to contact me, this is the best way.  Monica is in shock.  She is so devastated, she can hardly move.  Her whole life flashed before her eyes.  And then there was a loud pop!!!……

The newspaper read the following day.  Wife comes home to an empty house to take her own life.  To
Be or Not to Be, that is the Question.  And that all I have to say about that.  We’d love to hear your comments on the story.  Tell us what you think.  Check out our blog at:  http://scottlnkdesign.com

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We love to hear your comments.  In the meantime.  Here’s Bloggin at you Kid.

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