The Importance of Dating Before Marriage..Should You or Should You Not?

Dating before marriage is essential. It helps an individual make the decision whether they want to live with the other person for the rest of their life or not. Dating before marriage is usually referred to as courtship, because the relationship has passed the stage of just getting to know each other, but tailoring it towards marriage. The debate surrounding dating and marriage has been in existence for a while now, with some people advocating for it, and others against it all together. Nevertheless, going on dates that leads to marriage or not is still common. This indicates that it is still relevant for a majority of people. When planning to get married, there are a variety of reasons why dating before marriage is necessary and they include: First, dating before marriage helps you understand your partner better so that you can be able to get along with minimal conflict. The merging of two people from diverse backgrounds is likely to bring with it a lot of ups and downs, so it is better to go through the struggles before marriage, to know if you can cope with them before marriage. Second, when dating with the main goal being to get married, it helps the couple focus on what they should expect in marriage. This focus will help you evaluate whether you are ready for marriage or not, and the responsibilities that come with it. There are some couples that have realized while dating before marriage, that they are not compatible with each other and have ended the relationship before getting married. Third, understanding each other’s likes as well as dislikes are most likely to be discovered when dating before marriage. The more you understand your partner, the more likely you will be able to get along even better within the marriage. It is during this courtship period that you get to know what you can handle, and characteristics that you will not be able to live with. Fourth, future plans and ambitions of a couple are discovered when dating before marriage as they discuss different aspects of their lives. Most of the time, the plans and even ambitions of each partner may differ because they are living individual lives. However, as the courtship progresses it is important to be aware of the possibility of harmonizing future plans, so that you have the same focus. Fifth, dating before marriage strengthens a relationship because of the various life situations that the couple has to go through together as they prepare for marriage. It is in these life situations that you see your partner for who they are, and their ability to handle different situations that may also arise in marriage. However, for some couples, these situations open up their eyes to the realities of the life they are likely to live in marriage and they choose to opt out. Results of not dating before marriage Even with the importance of dating before marriage being emphasized in different types of publications, and married people, there are still couples that decide to forgo dating and just get married. The most obvious result of not getting to know each other before marriage is divorce. Many people who are divorced now, are likely to not have dated before making a decision to get married, and found that they are unable to handle the responsibilities of marriage or to live with the person they married. Another result of not dating before walking down the aisle is that you are not aware of the goal of the marriage. Lack of focus on where the marriage is heading is likely to bring about conflict because everyone has their own life that they want to live within the marriage. A marriage that does not have a common goal is likely to disintegrate at the first sign of trouble. In addition, friendship in dating is developed over time, and this cannot be done without courtship between two people. Friendship is important in a marriage because there are times when the feelings of love will not be there, but because you are friends, there are other points of connection. Overall, dating before marriage is important and should not be neglected if a marriage is to have a chance of survival.

And that’s really all I have to say about that.  We’d love to hear your comments.  Tell us what you think.  You Could win a FREE IPAD  check out:  http://scottlnkdesign.com or go to:  http://scottlnkdesign.com/EP-Website
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To Be or Not To Be – Is Love The Answer

Is this really the question?  I’ve taken care of you for 15 years and now you’re ready to leave.  I’m good enough to scrub your clothes but I’m not good enough to marry.  I gave you everything I had and now you’ve made a child with someone else.  To be or not to be, that is the question. 

Introducing James and Monica

James and Monica met at the University.  Monica was very shy but James was very outspoken.  Very popular with the ladies.  Everyone adored him so he had plenty of friends.  Monica still reflects back on the day that James asked her out on a date.  She immediately said yes and from that day one they were inseparable.  Monica found as time went on she was doing everything to please James to keep him happy.  From dusk to dawn she waited on him hand and foot.  He never had to worry about a thing.  She loved him so much.  He meant the world to her.  Then one day after a hard day at work, Monica decided that she wanted to do something really special for James.  Since it was their 15^th anniversary, she decided to take him out on the town.  She had it all planned, she would be waiting for him when he walked through the door with his favorite bottle of wine.  She would whisk him off to their favorite restaurant where they would have dinner by candlelight.  And then, they would come home and set the mood for some all-night passionate love making.  It doesn’t get any better than this.  She could hardly wait to surprise him.  James had left unusually early for work today without even mentioning their anniversary.  This was ok though because Monica knew he had a lot on his mine. His job was so demanding of him and she was so understanding in this area.  This was one of the qualities that James loved about her was her ability to be so understanding and never pressuring him when he had to spend extra hours away.  She was so thankful for their beautiful 2 story home with the 3 Cadillac’s and Mercedes Benz.  She had everything a woman could want and even more.  No worries there.  As Monica arrived home it was a little after six and she knew that she had at least another hour before James would be walking through the door.  Every minuet that passed made her more and more excited.  Just the wait alone would drive her mad.  At the front of the door she turns her key and starts to walk in.  A cold rush comes across her body, nothing like she’s ever felt before.  Something’s wrong she says to herself and she hurriedly flips on the lights.  Oh my God, we’ve been robbed.  Robbed, she gasped, what robber would take the time to remove all of the furniture and then it suddenly hit her.  We haven’t been robbed, James has left me.  Somehow he’s come home during the day and removed everything from our home.  Looking across the room where the dinner table used to be, there’s a letter.   As I picked it up to read it said:  Dear Monica, I’m sorry things have to end this way and I know you’re probably thinking that this is a shitty way to leave but the truth is, I don’t love you anymore.  To be or not to be, that is the question, I had to ask myself after living in a miserable life for 15 years.  I had to find the courage to go.  There is someone in my life that I love very much and we have a baby on the way.  It’s a boy and it’s due any day now.  So I’m sorry, I’ll leave you some money in the bank.  This will help out until you get on your feet.  Please don’t try to contact me, this is the best way.  Monica is in shock.  She is so devastated, she can hardly move.  Her whole life flashed before her eyes.  And then there was a loud pop!!!……

The newspaper read the following day.  Wife comes home to an empty house to take her own life.  To
Be or Not to Be, that is the Question.  And that all I have to say about that.  We’d love to hear your comments on the story.  Tell us what you think.  Check out our blog at:  http://scottlnkdesign.com

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Don’t Judge Me Part 2

Yesterday we left off where Alice was in a dilemma as to whether to tell Jeffrey about her recent visit to the doctor and if she would end up canceling her wedding, losing Jeffery or just slipping away and keeping her deep dark secret to herself.

Today, it’s raining and everything appears to be so gray.  Yesterday I had a beautiful life.  I was on top of the world.  Today, I feel like someone has pulled my life from under me and I don’t know which way to turn.  No matter what happens, I have to take control of this situation.

It’s 6:00 pm and Jeffery just arrived home.  How’s my favorite girl?  I missed you so much today.  Listen, I spoke to my mom and she tells me that she can’t wait to get here.  She wants to arrive early so she can help with all the planning and hopefully take some of the weight off of your mom.  That’s great replied Alice, I’m really looking forward to finally meeting her.  Jeffery, I have to talk to you about something that’s really urgent.  What is it Alice, replied Jeffery, tell me.  Jeffery, I’m HIV positive.  Jeffery almost fell off his feet, what did you say?  I said, I’m HIV positive, replied Alice.  Who told you that?  How do you know?  I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup and since we were getting married I decided to have a full checkup done and this is what they found.  Oh my God, Alice, I can’t believe it, replied Jeffery.   Stop right there, I don’t know how this happened, I’ve never cheated on you and I don’t know where this came from.  I went over it again and again in my mind and I still don’t know what happened.  I feel like God is punishing me for my life before.

All of a sudden, Jeffery got real quite.  Alice I’m sorry, he said.  Sorry, sorry for what? She asked, I’m the one that’s made our life a disaster.  No, it’s not you, it was never you.  It was me.  All of sudden Alice looked up with surprise, you, Jeffery what are you saying.  Jeffery held his head down, to ashamed to look into her eyes.   I mean, I cheated on you and I didn’t tell you and the one time I cheated, I picked up the disease from her.  So you see, it was never you, it was me.  Alice stopped right in her tracks, what are you saying, you mean, I’ve put my life through hell over the past week and it wasn’t even my fault.  Why didn’t you tell me Jeffery?  I couldn’t, I mean, I don’t know why.  I tried to tell you over and over again but you were always too busy to listen, he replied.  So you gave me the disease? She asked.   I had an affair and I’m sorry, I made a mistake. A mistake that will follow me for the rest of my life and I don’t know how to fix it.  You should have started by telling me.   That would have been a start, she replied.  I was hoping it would just go away, replied Jeffery.  So where is she now?  Are you still seeing her?  Asked Alice.  No, Jeffrey replied.  She was a one night stand.  A one night stand that brought death to our family, replied Alice.  So, what do we do from here?  She asked.   How did you keep an issue like that a secret, didn’t it bother you, weren’t you afraid you would hurt me?  Asked Alice. What you want from me, Jeffery replied.  It’s just one of those things that happened.  A part of life, relied Jeffery.

In my opinion, it sounds like Jeffery is acting an asshole.  If I were Alice, I’d tell him to pack his sh…t, and go.  But what do you do?  Are there really any right answers?   Let’s talk about this….

So how do you think this story should end?  Should Alice pretend that nothing is wrong?  Should she still marry Jeffery?  He cheated on her, can she ever trust him again?  What would you do?  We’d love to hear your comments on this.  And when you get a chance, please check out our blog at:  http://scottlnkdesign.com

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Keep Bloggin my friends.  We want to stay in touch with you.  Until the next time.

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Jodi Arias Trial

Just heard the news – Jodi’s lawyers want to jump ship on her, can you blame them? I mean, I would have jumped ship a year ago. This trial has been unreal. I don’t usually follow things like this but I have to tell you, when I started listening to the things she was saying, I mean the lies and lies over and over again, I said to myself, this cannot be real so I was glued to it from then on. How can you lie like that under oath? She is definitely out there, I mean in a crazy way. I was so afraid she might get off and I said to myself, if the jury does not convict this girl then the world is on its way to hell. I mean, how do you take someone’s life and watch them suffer while every drop of life is slowly slipping away from their body. She treated him as if he was a piece of meat. And the professionals, which were supposed to be professionals got up and lied for her. What was that all about? It’s like she had the folks hypnotized, under some sort of spell. This just shows you the DEVIL is alive. She leaves him there and continues her journey as if nothing had even happened. To call the police and ask to lend her assistance knowing all the time that she was the one who killed him. Thank God for Juan Martinez, he was strong and stood his ground. I know the family and friends appreciate him so much. I really hope to meet him some day. He was a rock that could not be broken. I think about when Jodi testified and she was so rude to Mr. Martinez at times when he would ask her questions. I thought to myself, that’s ok, you’re going to get yours, and she did!!!. I don’t feel sorry for people like her. She tried to destroy a family but God is good. The Alexander family is strong and it looks as though they’ve gotten stronger.

I really think Jodi thought she would reach the Hall of Fame behind this. She was giving so many interviews, I was starting to wonder if she was really incarcerated. All over the internet and tweeting down. I think Alyce LaViolette may have a thing for Jodi because why would she risk her career with all the lying? Not trying to be judgmental, it just seems so odd, the spell Jodi had over the witnesses. Even the women in her jail pod, I mean, come on, they’re standing up for her like she was some sort of queen. I couldn’t believe it. I think Jodi really needs to be put away because she seems to have some powerful spirit going on there so she needs to be put out of commission real fast. The devil is working through her.

So what do you guys think is going on? We’d love to hear your comments.

Scot