How To Save A Marriage From Divorce And Rekindle The Love

Many couples are desperate and in need of help and information on how to save a marriage from divorce and get back that “lovin’ feeling” that brought them together in the first place. Too many marriages today have either ended in divorce, are in the process of divorce, or unknowingly headed for divorce. It’s a brutal statistic but 50% of marriages today will be destroyed through a divorce, and that is a conservative estimate!  111359

The great news in all this is that divorce does not need to be the ultimate outcome of your relationship woes. There is so much you can do, right now, to stop the negative momentum in your relationship that is quickly pushing your marriage towards the divorce statistics.

If you are interested and open to learning how to save a marriage from divorce I think you will find this article helpful, and I truly hope that you will take what I share and apply it immediately to your relationship. Time is of the essence when your marriage is on the line. Truth is if you are at this stage and worried about divorce you have already put things off too long. So I challenge and encourage you to read this and then start applying what you learn this very night!

Before you can save your marriage you need to isolate the problems that are threatening it. You can’t fight an enemy you can’t see. If your marriage is in trouble there are a few, tell-tale, signs that you need to be aware of and then confront. They include:

1. A lack of desire to be together – This is a huge red flag and needs to be dealt with yesterday! If you and your partner find it painful to “hang-out” and find that you would rather do “whatever” either on your own or with a friend, then very likely there is a serious problem with your relationship. While it is true that everyone is busy, if your daily activities, work commitments, time spent with children and friends so dominate your schedule that there is no time left for your spouse, there is serious trouble brewing and this issue needs to be addressed. If spending time together is not a top priority, then you need to stop everything and re-prioritize your life. How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love has to include quality time spent together with your spouse!

2. A feeling of resentment – If there is an underlying sense of resentment, (towards your spouse or vice-versa), or perhaps it is even outright, in your face resentment, then you need to be alarmed! This is not a healthy aspect for any marriage and will eat away at your relationship like rust on steroids! If resentment is causing you to feel that you don’t even like your spouse anymore, then your marriage is in a major crisis and you need to take immediate action.

3. A lack or void of intimacy – If you and your spouse have not been intimate for a long time, and it doesn’t seem to bother you, then this is another red flag that should cause you to be concerned. If you are really interested in how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, than you have to take a serious look at the intimacy factor in your relationship. While a lack of sex does not mean a marriage is on the rocks, a total lack of intimacy is a good indicator that this is the case. Intimacy is more complex than just sex and includes enjoyment and fulfillment from tender moments spent together, through hugging, kissing, snuggling and just being together physically.

4. An inability to communicate – Another indicator that your marriage is in trouble and may be headed for divorce is when you and your spouse don’t talk or “discuss” things normally anymore; you merely argue and disagree about everything. If conversation has become a chore and it seems easier to just not talk than have to deal with the emotional stress and anxiety you feel after verbal interaction, then now is the time to sit up, take notice and make some serious changes. Open, healthy communication is an absolute essential part of a strong, fulfilling marriage. You will not discover how to save your marriage from divorce until you first discover how to communicate properly and lovingly.

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Requires A Game Plan:

OK, now that we have identified some definite red flags and you realize that your relationship troubles may be more serious than you thought, we need to look at positive measures to take now to bring healing and restoration. The following suggestions will answer, in part, the nagging question of, “How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love again”:

* The first step to bringing healing into your marriage is to open up the lines of communication. You need to take the time to talk. This won’t happen on its own, you must make the time. This needs to be a two-way dialogue where you and your spouse open up to one another and share your concerns. Be honest and address the problems, openly sharing your ideas and thoughts. You and your spouse deserve to know how each other are feeling. Then, together, establish helpful and reasonable solutions.

* Be sure to stay calm and never raise your voice during this time of reconnecting and communicating. Go out of your way to be polite and respectful in your communication skills. The tone of voice and body language can speak volumes, so be aware of both. At all costs, avoid accusations and finger-pointing. If your spouse feels threatened it will be “game-over”. After you have shared your concerns listen carefully, and intently, to your partner’s response and then be proactive in working with her/him in coming up with restorative resolutions of how to save a marriage from divorce.

* If you have success in communicating then continue spending time together working things out. No matter how busy “life” gets couples that want to stay together must find the time to shut out the rest of the world and be alone. You will each, most likely, have to reduce your obligations, but it will be so worth it. Learning how to save a marriage from divorce will involve retraining yourselves and rethinking your priorities.

* Plan a date night! It seems so cliche but it is effective. Even if it only happens once or twice a month, you will find this, alone time, to be extraordinarily advantageous to restoring your relationship. It will enable you to reconnect with one another, helping you to identify and appreciate each other all over again and give you a sense of just how valuable your marriage really is. Do not underestimate the value of this step in your plan of how to save a marriage from divorce.adoreebook

The key of how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, is to first and foremost recognize that there is a serious problem and then become immediately proactive in addressing the issues and working together to find, and implement, solutions that will bring reconciliation and healing to the relationship. There is no better time than the present to begin, and time is of the essence…

All the best!

Sweet Talk – Building Trust and Intimacy with those you Love

There are 5 simple strategies to build trust – and intimacy with those you love. We’ve all been there: You’re deep in conversation, and the volley is smooth, seamless, and satisfying, bring you closer by the minute. But you’ve also been here: As you ramble on trying to get your point across, your partner cuts you off and changes the subject. The next thing you know, you’ve got a serious case of emotional whiplash. That’s because whether you’ve known someone for 15 minutes or 15 years, the way you both speak enhances trust, intimacy, and love-or the opposite.

Communication, after all, is the tool you use every day to build your closest relationships, and experts (as well as common sense) tell us that the right words, spoken in the right way, can work wonders on even the testiest interactions. The problem?” Most of us think we’re good communicators, but research shows we’re surprisingly unskilled at it. Blame rushed e-mailing or a dearth of face-to-face time, but we’re not connecting as well as we can. According to ground-breaking work in the field of neuroscience, however, it’s easy to retrain ourselves to speak and listen in a way that stimulates sympathy and trust in the other person’s brain in a matter of seconds.
So whether you’re talking to a friend, a spouse, or a colleague at work, these five tips will ensure the best dialogue possible.

1. Breathe and stretch
When conversations are challenging, the person who can remain calm will benefit the most. That’s because stress generates irritability, irritability leads to anger, and anger shuts down your ability to get your point across. So before you enter any important dialogue, take a minute or two to enter a state of deep relaxation. Many brain-scan studies have shown that exercises –such as breathing slowly to a count of five, stretching your neck, and even taking a few yawns-can change your brain in ways that measurably improve your communication skills.

2. Generate five positive thoughts
Any negative thought you harbor can interfere with the parts of your brain involved in language processing, listening, and speech, leading to mutual defensiveness and destruct. Statements like “You let me down” or “I don’t like your tone” or even an eye roll can generate a fight-or-flight reaction in the other person’s brain. To counter this, employ the 5-to-1 rule: For every negative feeling you hold about yourself the other person, or the topic at hand, conjure five positive ones. Research has shown this to be one of the most important factors for predicting success in personal and business relationships.

3. Seal it with a smile
If you want to boost the success of your interplay, try accessing a pleasant memory or thinking about someone you love before you start the conversation. It will create a subtle, inviting facial expression that conveys kindness compassion, and interest. When another person sees this, it stimulates a feeling of trust in their brain. The expression on the other person’s face will then unconsciously reflect yours-a process known as neural resonance-and this will deepen everyone’s sense of satisfaction. As researchers at Loyola University Chicago demonstrated, contentment gives rise to happier chats. Enjoyable memories will also release pleasure chemicals in your brain that will take you into even deeper states of relaxed intimacy.

4. See into the soul
Eye contact stimulates the social network circuits in your brain, decreases the stress hormone cortisol and increases oxytocin, a hormone that enhances sympathy. Looking at someone’s face, really looking- also means you’ll be better able to recognize the seven basic facial expressions (anger, fear, sadness, disgust, surprise, contempt, and happiness) even though they may last only a second. This makes it easier to repair the damage before your loved one notices that the conversation was knocked off track.

5. Express appreciation
The first words you speak to someone will set the tone for the entire interaction, and a single compliment may be all you need to engender cooperation and trust. Complaints, on the other hand, immediately create a defensive reaction in the listener and will rarely get you what you want. Our suggestion: Begin each conversation with a sincere compliment, and end with a phrase that conveys deep appreciation for the other person. Research shows that remarks received at the end of an interaction are especially effective because they linger in the other person’s mind.

So there you have it: 5 simple strategies to build trust and intimacy with those you love.

We’d love you hear your comments on this. Tell us what you think.

Until next time….Bloggin Together