How To Save A Marriage From Divorce And Rekindle The Love

Many couples are desperate and in need of help and information on how to save a marriage from divorce and get back that “lovin’ feeling” that brought them together in the first place. Too many marriages today have either ended in divorce, are in the process of divorce, or unknowingly headed for divorce. It’s a brutal statistic but 50% of marriages today will be destroyed through a divorce, and that is a conservative estimate!  111359

The great news in all this is that divorce does not need to be the ultimate outcome of your relationship woes. There is so much you can do, right now, to stop the negative momentum in your relationship that is quickly pushing your marriage towards the divorce statistics.

If you are interested and open to learning how to save a marriage from divorce I think you will find this article helpful, and I truly hope that you will take what I share and apply it immediately to your relationship. Time is of the essence when your marriage is on the line. Truth is if you are at this stage and worried about divorce you have already put things off too long. So I challenge and encourage you to read this and then start applying what you learn this very night!

Before you can save your marriage you need to isolate the problems that are threatening it. You can’t fight an enemy you can’t see. If your marriage is in trouble there are a few, tell-tale, signs that you need to be aware of and then confront. They include:

1. A lack of desire to be together – This is a huge red flag and needs to be dealt with yesterday! If you and your partner find it painful to “hang-out” and find that you would rather do “whatever” either on your own or with a friend, then very likely there is a serious problem with your relationship. While it is true that everyone is busy, if your daily activities, work commitments, time spent with children and friends so dominate your schedule that there is no time left for your spouse, there is serious trouble brewing and this issue needs to be addressed. If spending time together is not a top priority, then you need to stop everything and re-prioritize your life. How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love has to include quality time spent together with your spouse!

2. A feeling of resentment – If there is an underlying sense of resentment, (towards your spouse or vice-versa), or perhaps it is even outright, in your face resentment, then you need to be alarmed! This is not a healthy aspect for any marriage and will eat away at your relationship like rust on steroids! If resentment is causing you to feel that you don’t even like your spouse anymore, then your marriage is in a major crisis and you need to take immediate action.

3. A lack or void of intimacy – If you and your spouse have not been intimate for a long time, and it doesn’t seem to bother you, then this is another red flag that should cause you to be concerned. If you are really interested in how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, than you have to take a serious look at the intimacy factor in your relationship. While a lack of sex does not mean a marriage is on the rocks, a total lack of intimacy is a good indicator that this is the case. Intimacy is more complex than just sex and includes enjoyment and fulfillment from tender moments spent together, through hugging, kissing, snuggling and just being together physically.

4. An inability to communicate – Another indicator that your marriage is in trouble and may be headed for divorce is when you and your spouse don’t talk or “discuss” things normally anymore; you merely argue and disagree about everything. If conversation has become a chore and it seems easier to just not talk than have to deal with the emotional stress and anxiety you feel after verbal interaction, then now is the time to sit up, take notice and make some serious changes. Open, healthy communication is an absolute essential part of a strong, fulfilling marriage. You will not discover how to save your marriage from divorce until you first discover how to communicate properly and lovingly.

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Requires A Game Plan:

OK, now that we have identified some definite red flags and you realize that your relationship troubles may be more serious than you thought, we need to look at positive measures to take now to bring healing and restoration. The following suggestions will answer, in part, the nagging question of, “How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love again”:

* The first step to bringing healing into your marriage is to open up the lines of communication. You need to take the time to talk. This won’t happen on its own, you must make the time. This needs to be a two-way dialogue where you and your spouse open up to one another and share your concerns. Be honest and address the problems, openly sharing your ideas and thoughts. You and your spouse deserve to know how each other are feeling. Then, together, establish helpful and reasonable solutions.

* Be sure to stay calm and never raise your voice during this time of reconnecting and communicating. Go out of your way to be polite and respectful in your communication skills. The tone of voice and body language can speak volumes, so be aware of both. At all costs, avoid accusations and finger-pointing. If your spouse feels threatened it will be “game-over”. After you have shared your concerns listen carefully, and intently, to your partner’s response and then be proactive in working with her/him in coming up with restorative resolutions of how to save a marriage from divorce.

* If you have success in communicating then continue spending time together working things out. No matter how busy “life” gets couples that want to stay together must find the time to shut out the rest of the world and be alone. You will each, most likely, have to reduce your obligations, but it will be so worth it. Learning how to save a marriage from divorce will involve retraining yourselves and rethinking your priorities.

* Plan a date night! It seems so cliche but it is effective. Even if it only happens once or twice a month, you will find this, alone time, to be extraordinarily advantageous to restoring your relationship. It will enable you to reconnect with one another, helping you to identify and appreciate each other all over again and give you a sense of just how valuable your marriage really is. Do not underestimate the value of this step in your plan of how to save a marriage from divorce.adoreebook

The key of how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, is to first and foremost recognize that there is a serious problem and then become immediately proactive in addressing the issues and working together to find, and implement, solutions that will bring reconciliation and healing to the relationship. There is no better time than the present to begin, and time is of the essence…

All the best!

Stop the Divorce …Save Your Marriage..

You are in a tricky situation currently; you are considering divorce; your wife has already walked out on you; you found her cheating; your marriage is failing for reasons unknown. But you obviously do care; you are a forgiving loving man; you want to stop the divorce; you want to save your marriage.

Does this describe your situation? You are reading this article so you obviously do care about your marriage. You wish that your wife could be in love with you until “death do you part”, even though she has already separated from you.

You understand that divorce is one of the worst things in the world. It affects not only you and your spouse, but also your children, your extended family,  and your friends. Some of the sad consequences of a marriage breakup can be seen in the following list:

– Your family life is wrecked
– Your children have split parents
– Your children have to cope with shared custodyadoreebook
– Your children have split loyalties
– You friends have split loyalties
– Your finances are torn apart
– Years of savings go up in smoke (or get paid to the lawyer!)
– You loose your home
– Hours of long drawn out legal battles in a divorce court
– You loose at least half of what you own
– You have ongoing alimony payments
– You have ongoing child support payments
– You feel hostile towards your wife and she towards you
– There are months or years of grieving

Is it worth it? Is this what you want? I would not wish divorce on my worst enemy. So stop the divorce now. Save your marriage

There is plenty of help available to help you work through and resolve the issues. You will find various solutions recommended by marriage guidance councellors and in the many self help books available.

But be careful. Research what others are doing;and do the opposite! Why? Because they’ve got it wrong. What they are doing doesn’t seem to work. Almost everyone believes that human beings make the ideal decisions based on reason. In a perfect world, you could see a marriage counsellor, come up with a plan (maybe by having “date nights” or “intimacy time”) and everything would be perfect. But it is not.

If you go to a relationship guru, they will tell you that you can “communicate” your way into a great marriage. But in reality, simply “talking through” your problems is the worse thing you can do. Apologizing, discussing, compromising, grovelling, begging, even communicating, sometimes these logic based approaches have limited success.

As a man one of the key points for you to know about your wife is that she uses emotion rather than logic when making personal decisions! And logic kills attraction. So if you want to build massive feelings of love and attraction in your wife, you have to look at what really makes her feel those things!

But the good news is that no matter how bad things have gotten, no matter how disinterested your wife might seem, no matter if one of you has cheated, no matter if you’re already separated – you can stop the divorce. You can save your marriage. But the longer you hesitate to do something about it the more likely you are to end up in a divorce court.

If you’re like most men, you have probably already tried everything you can to save your marriage, but nothing seems to work! Counselling didn’t work, books that claimed they could save your marriage didn’t work, and advice from your best mate or your sister didn’t work either. And now you have approached the best, a really expensive divorce lawyer. Will he/she be the savior of your marriage – I think not.

If you are so befuddled by the range of information available on this topic that you are unsure where to start, don’t worry you are not the only one. There are a lot of men in similar circumstances to you. It is time now to re-invest in your marriage and super-charge it with more love, passion, fun and excitement than ever before. Educate yourself on some fantastic insights into the human condition. Become that powerful guy once more.

The answer to how to stop the divorce and save your marriage is quite simple really. The law of attraction forms the foundation. Can you remember the early days of marriage bliss when you loved each other like nothing before? Can you recollect who you were when she loved you like that? In fact the only thing you have to do is wake up that same man your wife married.

If the attraction between spouses is dead and buried how will they prevent that divorce and save the marriage? In point of fact, the answer is not found by solving problems. It is actually found in building attraction. You have to develop so much heat and passion in your spouse that she is madly in love with you again. To stop that divorce and save your marriage you must lead your wife from being totally disinterested in you to being so attracted to you that you become the king of the castle and she is the queen by your side.

Would you like to know the secret about how to do that? Then here it is. In one word in is called leadership. If your marriage is in trouble, then you have not succeeded in leading your wife! Stop the divorce and save your marriage by becoming once again that amazing, compelling, dynamic leader your wife first fell in love with.

On a biological level, sex drive is all about the continuation of mankind. Males with commanding leadership qualities appeal to females because subconsciously they view strong leaders as the provider, the protector, and the giver of life through fatherhood. And so nature has programmed women on a biological level to be massively attracted to leaders. Regardless of what anyone might tell you, women do not like weak men. It turns us off…

You are probably thinking that this attitude is not politically correct. Of course in business and society,  women have total equality. But if you are serious about stopping that divorce and saving your marriage, if you want your wife to be attracted to you and in love with your forever, then that leader had better be you! lead your wife and let her biology do the rest. And that all I have to say about that. So send us your comments, tell us what’s on your mind. We’d love to hear from you.

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Real Love Versus the Fake Stuff

Do you know the difference between real and fake love?

Just like any counterfeit object or characteristic, it can be tricky to know and identify the real from the fake. Sometimes, even experts can’t tell what is genuine and what is not. The fake stuff resembles the real thing in many aspects. The facade can look exactly like the true article. Hollywood sets with their cardboard exteriors are good examples of that. So when it comes to falling in love, if the object of your affection looks good, sounds reasonable, and seems to feel the same way you do, you may not get it that he or she is not what you think they are. What are the defining characteristics that can signal to you what is real and what is fake? What are the warning signs you need to heed? Essentially, the fake love fades away as soon as the chemistry wears off. But love endures, showing up in the actions and deeds of the two people.

Here are the signs of fake love:111442

1. Time

Fake love, which is chemistry only, lasts anywhere from three weeks to a year and a half and then disappears. Real love loses the immediacy of the chemical rush, but retains chemistry while it grows deeper and calmer. The onset of both kinds of love is marked by obsession. For a period of time, the two people in love cannot think about anything but the other one. They may lose weight, lose sleep, and lose all concept of time. Nothing else exists for them except the other person. When this chemical high wears off, the true picture of the person emerges for them. All of the above involves…time.

2. Projection

Fake love, based primarily on physical intimacy, is what two people assume about each other.  They can’t see future problems. Idealized qualities, lives built on fantasy, and a perfect life together dominates their thoughts. Each one insists that the other one is the greatest person they have ever met. The problem is, they haven’t really MET each other yet. They are relating to their idealized version. When this cyclone of projection ends and the dust settles, the true person emerges. Then they can decide if they are right for each other.

3. Fairy Tales

Counterfeit love feeds off of the stuff of fairy tales. The women in the story want Prince Charming. They will have riches, happiness, love, and all dreams come true. The man in the story, who feels like a frog and may even look like one, is kissed by the princess. He miraculously turns into a handsome, dashing Prince. When two people get together and fall into the chemical cocktail, they unconsciously can fall into this stylized story. Only when the chemicals wear off do they actually see each other. They may like each other, in which case, real love may develop. Or- the chemicals become toxic, the guy goes back to being a frog, and she looks for another prince.

4. The Future

When two people meet and fall into chemistry, they may begin to plan their future together within weeks. Their “real” selves are not talking to each other here – it’s their spiced, fried, scrambled brain that can’t be trusted to make clear decisions. What does REAL love look like? It is able to get past the chemistry phase and into real-time. Fake love involves conflict, drama, and pain, once the chemistry wears off. Real love evolves into service, thought, care, and sincere emotions for the other. Real love is shown in loving acts – over and over – with no one keeping score. Real love responds to the needs of the other, flowing effortlessly from one day to the next.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

We would love to hear your comments, just tell us what you think.  and  while you’re at it, check out these sites.  There are all kinds of solutions for Matters of the Heart.

go to:  http://scottlnkdesign.com    for your favorite love potion.

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For a little passion:  http://designsintuition.com/passion ..this site will blow your mind. Until then, here’s bloggin at you kid!!!! Scotts Link!!

Dating and Relationships: Why Didn’t He Call?

It’s Saturday night, you’re out with a few friends and unexpectedly you meet a handsome stranger. You end up spending most of the evening flirting, drinking, laughing, talking &adoreebook dancing. At the end of the night, he asks you for your number as he say’s he would like to take you out for dinner.

As you get into the cab feeling ever so elated, you mentally press rewind and start replaying the evening in the back of your mind. You break out in an uncontrollable grin, despite the fact that your new pair of heels have left your feet sore and it’s 5.00am. Your thoughts are then rudely interrupted with the sound of a text alert. As you reach in your handbag, you silently wish for it to be him. YES! It’s him, telling you how much he enjoyed your company and will call you later on… OH YES, ISN’T LIFE GREAT!

Sunday afternoon – hmmm no phone call, he’s probably sleeping, it was a late night, I’m sure he’ll call tonight… Sunday evening – I know he has a pretty early start with his job, so in between nursing a hangover and sorting himself out for work, he will probably leave it for tomorrow. Monday evening – may be he’s playing it cool, he doesn’t want to come across too keen, guys are like that, aren’t they? Tuesday evening – Why hasn’t he called? He said he liked me and wanted to take me out for dinner. Why did he say all of this, if he was not interested?

For all you guys reading this, it’s true, this is what most women who you’ve said you would call, go through. Whilst it may just have been a polite gesture on your part, or a spontaneous request, by not calling you hurt someone’s feelings. If you think this is OTT, just think of those times when you have plucked up the courage to approach a woman, after you think she has been giving you signals, just to be outright rejected. If you’re smirking thinking, well now she knows how it feels, two wrongs don’t make a right!

And guys in case you’re thinking, well she’s got my number, why doesn’t she just call me? Firstly, you asked for the number, so the onus is on you to follow up. Secondly, you said you were going to call, if a woman then chooses to call, there’s a good chance you’re going to think she’s overly keen or just desperate. And thirdly, women also have pride. But let’s be honest here, without the chase your interest is going to wane anyway, isn’t it?

So ladies why hasn’t he called? Often, when guys ask you for your number, at that precise moment he intends to use it. After that moment has literally passed, a new game comes into play. The next morning he will mull over it, questioning whether he had his beer goggles on? How well he connected with you – does he see any long term potential, or is it best left as a night of fun? Is he ready to, or can he even be bothered to, have a relationship? And the list could go on. But in a nutshell, if he hasn’t called you within 72 hours, he’s just not interested. It doesn’t matter how busy a guy is, if he genuinely likes you, he will find the time to contact you.

For arguments sake, let’s reverse the tables for a moment. Guys imagine that you meet someone at a singles event, or in a bar and you really like her. You spend most of the evening with her, and at the end of the night you ask her for her number. She insists on taking yours and says she will call you. How does it make you feel, when that call does not come? If you put your male ego aside, part of you will probably be disappointed and you may move on quickly. On the other hand, depending on how much you liked her, in your ‘male-way’ you will pretty much go through the same motions, as women do.

Thus, the moral of this story is that we are all adults. If it is just a ‘one evening thing’ then leave it at that. If you’re not going to make that call, please don’t take, or ask for their number!  And that’s all I have to say about that.  In the meantime check us out and please leave us your comments.  We’d love to hear from you.

Check out these sites:  http://scottlnkdesign.com and http://scottlnkdesign.com/EP-Website and http://designsintuition.com/passion, you could win a brand new Ipad!!!!

Scotts Link!

The Importance of Dating Before Marriage..Should You or Should You Not?

DesiremeDating before marriage is essential. It helps an individual make the decision whether they want to live with the other person for the rest of their life or not. Dating before marriage is usually referred to as courtship, because the relationship has passed the stage of just getting to know each other, but tailoring it towards marriage. The debate surrounding dating and marriage has been in existence for a while now, with some people advocating for it, and others against it all together. Nevertheless, going on dates that leads to marriage or not is still common. This indicates that it is still relevant for a majority of people. When planning to get married, there are a variety of reasons why dating before marriage is necessary and they include: First, dating before marriage helps you understand your partner better so that you can be able to get along with minimal conflict. The merging of two people from diverse backgrounds is likely to bring with it a lot of ups and downs, so it is better to go through the struggles before marriage, to know if you can cope with them before marriage. Second, when dating with the main goal being to get married, it helps the couple focus on what they should expect in marriage. This focus will help you evaluate whether you are ready for marriage or not, and the responsibilities that come with it. There are some couples that have realized while dating before marriage, that they are not compatible with each other and have ended the relationship before getting married. Third, understanding each other’s likes as well as dislikes are most likely to be discovered when dating before marriage. The more you understand your partner, the more likely you will be able to get along even better within the marriage. It is during this courtship period that you get to know what you can handle, and characteristics that you will not be able to live with. Fourth, future plans and ambitions of a couple are discovered when dating before marriage as they discuss different aspects of their lives. Most of the time, the plans and even ambitions of each partner may differ because they are living individual lives. However, as the courtship progresses it is important to be aware of the possibility of harmonizing future plans, so that you have the same focus. Fifth, dating before marriage strengthens a relationship because of the various life situations that the couple has to go through together as they prepare for marriage. It is in these life situations that you see your partner for who they are, and their ability to handle different situations that may also arise in marriage. However, for some couples, these situations open up their eyes to the realities of the life they are likely to live in marriage and they choose to opt out. Results of not dating before marriage Even with the importance of dating before marriage being emphasized in different types of publications, and married people, there are still couples that decide to forgo dating and just get married. The most obvious result of not getting to know each other before marriage is divorce. Many people who are divorced now, are likely to not have dated before making a decision to get married, and found that they are unable to handle the responsibilities of marriage or to live with the person they married. Another result of not dating before walking down the aisle is that you are not aware of the goal of the marriage. Lack of focus on where the marriage is heading is likely to bring about conflict because everyone has their own life that they want to live within the marriage. A marriage that does not have a common goal is likely to disintegrate at the first sign of trouble. In addition, friendship in dating is developed over time, and this cannot be done without courtship between two people. Friendship is important in a marriage because there are times when the feelings of love will not be there, but because you are friends, there are other points of connection. Overall, dating before marriage is important and should not be neglected if a marriage is to have a chance of survival.

And that’s really all I have to say about that.  We’d love to hear your comments.  Tell us what you think.  You Could win a FREE IPAD  check out:  http://scottlnkdesign.com or go to:  http://scottlnkdesign.com/EP-Website
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To Be or Not To Be – Is Love The Answer

111365Is this really the question?  I’ve taken care of you for 15 years and now you’re ready to leave.  I’m good enough to scrub your clothes but I’m not good enough to marry.  I gave you everything I had and now you’ve made a child with someone else.  To be or not to be, that is the question. 

Introducing James and Monica

James and Monica met at the University.  Monica was very shy but James was very outspoken.  Very popular with the ladies.  Everyone adored him so he had plenty of friends.  Monica still reflects back on the day that James asked her out on a date.  She immediately said yes and from that day one they were inseparable.  Monica found as time went on she was doing everything to please James to keep him happy.  From dusk to dawn she waited on him hand and foot.  He never had to worry about a thing.  She loved him so much.  He meant the world to her.  Then one day after a hard day at work, Monica decided that she wanted to do something really special for James.  Since it was their 15th anniversary, she decided to take him out on the town.  She had it all planned, she would be waiting for him when he walked through the door with his favorite bottle of wine.  She would whisk him off to their favorite restaurant where they would have dinner by candlelight.  And then, they would come home and set the mood for some all-night passionate love making.  It doesn’t get any better than this.  She could hardly wait to surprise him.  James had left unusually early for work today without even mentioning their anniversary.  This was ok though because Monica knew he had a lot on his mine. His job was so demanding of him and she was so understanding in this area.  This was one of the qualities that James loved about her was her ability to be so understanding and never pressuring him when he had to spend extra hours away.  She was so thankful for their beautiful 2 story home with the 3 Cadillac’s and Mercedes Benz.  She had everything a woman could want and even more.  No worries there.  As Monica arrived home it was a little after six and she knew that she had at least another hour before James would be walking through the door.  Every minuet that passed made her more and more excited.  Just the wait alone would drive her mad.  At the front of the door she turns her key and starts to walk in.  A cold rush comes across her body, nothing like she’s ever felt before.  Something’s wrong she says to herself and she hurriedly flips on the lights.  Oh my God, we’ve been robbed.  Robbed, she gasped, what robber would take the time to remove all of the furniture and then it suddenly hit her.  We haven’t been robbed, James has left me.  Somehow he’s come home during the day and removed everything from our home.  Looking across the room where the dinner table used to be, there’s a letter.   As I picked it up to read it said:  Dear Monica, I’m sorry things have to end this way and I know you’re probably thinking that this is a shitty way to leave but the truth is, I don’t love you anymore.  To be or not to be, that is the question, I had to ask myself after living in a miserable life for 15 years.  I had to find the courage to go.  There is someone in my life that I love very much and we have a baby on the way.  It’s a boy and it’s due any day now.  So I’m sorry, I’ll leave you some money in the bank.  This will help out until you get on your feet.  Please don’t try to contact me, this is the best way.  Monica is in shock.  She is so devastated, she can hardly move.  Her whole life flashed before her eyes.  And then there was a loud pop!!!……

The newspaper read the following day.  Wife comes home to an empty house to take her own life.  To
Be or Not to Be, that is the Question.  And that all I have to say about that.  We’d love to hear your comments on the story.  Tell us what you think.  Check out our blog at:  http://scottlnkdesign.com

And http://scottlnkdesign.com/EP-Website  also http://designsintuition.com

We love to hear your comments.  In the meantime.  Here’s Bloggin at you Kid.

Scotts Link!!

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Get AMP – Volume 2 …Love is the Question? I’ve Got The Answer

Let’s Get AMP – Volume 2…Love is the Question?  I’ve Got the Answer

Today is a good day, love is all around us and the question is:510105

Do men really cheat on their spouses more than women do, or do they just get caught more often?

Answer:

Historically, men have reported being unfaithful twice often as women, according to Robin Milhausen, Ph.D., professor of family relations at the University of Gouelph in Ontario. “But today, the genders are almost equally unfaithful—23% for men and 19% for women.”  The reasons for infidelity differ, though.  For a woman, it’s sexual incompatibility that makes her more likely to cheat.  Men who are easily aroused-meaning they’re more responsive than most to attractive women-are more likely to stray.

Question:

My husband hides porn under the mattress on his side of the bed.  I found it and some of it is really distasteful.  Should I confront him with it or should I just put it out of my mind?  C. Mandrake, Los Angeles

Answer:

First of all, what were you doing snooping around under your man’s mattress anyway? What were you looking for?  It sounds like you need to check yourself before it’s too late.  He may be trying to tell you something.  Maybe you need a little excitement in your love life.  Have you ever considered role playing?  Think about it before you attack him with something you weren’t supposed to know about anyway.  If you trust him, don’t let a silly thing like porn destroy your relationship, it’s just a magazine.  And if you feel that strong about it, get involved.  I have a few ideas and I just happen to have a few naughty items in stock that I’m sure could add to your role playing.  So by all means, email me at scottlnk@aol.com and let’s get this party started ok.

Question:

My husband has no problem buying what he wants, but he gets upset when I splurge.  Why?      J. Anderson, Memphis, TN

Answer:

It’s nearly impossible to keep things 50-50, but if there’s extra spending money, you should both be entitled to it.  Figure out why your man is playing power games.  Does he feel your splurges are too expensive or impractical or think he should be the only one spending?  Discuss your finances and determine together how much money each of you have for discretionary spending.  It might help to set a limit, like $200, for how much either of you can spend without running it by the other.  But by all means, don’t keep secrets.  You are an item.  Your money is his money and his money is your money.  So if you can remember that, you’ll never have to worry.

Question:

My boyfriend and I are engaged and are planning to marry in the fall.  I love him with all my heart but he has hinted to me that he would like to swap with our next door neighbors.  Addie and Carl have been our friends for over 3 years and we do everything together.  Addie is very attractive and very loose.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t judge.  She does what she wants as long as she stays in her own space and does not cross into mine.  I came home one day and Addie was asleep in my guest bedroom.  Apparently, she and Carl had had a fight.  I didn’t think anything about it at the time but now I don’t know.  Bobby has started to hint more and more that we should try this because it could help our relationship and theirs.  I don’t know Ms. P, I thought what we had was sacred and I don’t want to share my man.  What should I do? S. Bloomsdale, Atlanta, GA

Answer:

Well Sandra, it sounds like it may have already started without you.  I mean you came home and she was in your bed, which should have been your first clue.  She lives only 2 doors down from you, why didn’t she just go home.  And now Bobby all of a sudden wants to swap, what’s that all about?  You need to put an end to this nonsense and put an end to it now, if you value your relationship.  If you let this happen, you may not recoup from it.  So please think about it before it’s too late.  I’m not trying to tell you what to do but get that notion out of his head so you can get back to planning your wedding.  And thats all I have to say about that…

You out there, we’d love to hear your comments.  Tell us what you think.   Looking forward to the next Volume of AMP?

While you’re at it, check out our blog at:  http://scottlnkdesign.com

If you like to earn an income, check out:  http://scottlnkdesign.com/EP-Website

Don’t forget:  http://designsintuition.com

In the meantime:  Keep Bloggin and I’ll see you at the top!!!

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7 Things You Never Knew About Your Weight

201239  7 Things You Never Knew About Your Weight

If you have the fat gene, you can offset the risk by exercising regularly.  This helps but there’s always the last 10 or 20 lbs. that you can’t seem to lose no matter how hard you try.  I hope this report will help you understand what’s really going on.

1.       It Really is Genetic

When scientists first discovered it in certain chubby mice, they called it simply the fatso gene.  Years later, when they scoured the human genome for markers that increased vulnerability to type 2 diabetes, the fatso gene (now more politely called FTO) showed up there too.  Turns out, people with two copies of the gene were 40 percent more likely to have diabetes and 60 percent more likely to be obese than those without it.  Those with only one copy of the gene weighed more too.

2.       Some People Just Have More Fat Cells

And the range is enormous, with some people having twice as many fat cells as other have, says Kirsty Spalding, PhD., of the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm.  Even if you’ve lost a few pounds (or gained some), you fat-cell count remains holding tight to the fat already inside and forever thirsting to be filled up with more.

3.       You Can Change Your Metabolism

Another Scandinavian team looked into what happens at the cellular level when you gain weight.  Kirsi Pietilainen, PhD, and assistant professor of nutrition at Helsinki University Central Hospital, studied set s of twins where one was fat and the other thin, and learned that fat cells in heavier twins underwent metabolic changes that make it more difficult to burn fat.  As you gain more fat, it becomes harder to lose it.

4.       Stress Fattens You Up

The most direct route is the food –in-mouth syndrome: Stressful circumstanc3es (your bank account, your boss) spark cravings for carbohydrate rich snack foods, which in turn calm stress hormones.  (When researchers in one study took away high-carb food from stressed mice, their stress hormones surged.)

5.       Mom’s Pregnancy Sealed Your Fate

A mother’s cigarettes increase the risk of low birth weight, and alcohol can damage her baby’s brain.  So why wouldn’t unhealthy foods wreak similar havoc?  A growing body of science suggests that sugary and fatty foods, consumed even before you’re born, od exactly that.  A report done on rodents showed that overweight females have higher levels of glucose and free fatty acids floating around in the womb than normal –weight ones do.  These molecules trigger the release of proteins that can upset the appetite control and metabolic symptoms in the developing brain.

6.       Sleep More, Lose More

When patients see Louis Aronne, MD, past president of the Obesity Society and author of the forthcoming book, The Skinny, they’re as likely to have their sleep assessed as their eating habits.  If patients are getting less than seven to eight hours, they will have a greater s3ense of fullness, and they’ll spontaneously lose weight.”

7.       Your Spouse’s Weight Matters

When Jodi Dixon’s sis-foot-two, 360 pound husband lost 125 pounds, she had mixed feelings.  She was the one who always watched her weight and exercised; she was always the one trying to get her husband to be more active.  Mort, a medical sales rep, was always the life of the party, says his wife, a 43 year-old mother of two in Freehold, New Jersey.  But when he lost the weight, it was different.  Men and woman would flock to him, drawn to his charisma.  She felt jealous.  The key to all of this, of course, is moderation rather than deprivation – eating in a way you can live with.

You need about 30 minutes of moderate intensity physical activity five days a week for health.  And you don’t even have to do it in one fell swoop-ten minute stints of walking are just as effective.  And that’s all I’m going to say about that.  How do you maintain your weight?  We’d love to hear your comments.  Until the next time, keep Bloggin.

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Welcome To Menopause..The Next Chapter of My Life

Welcome to Menopause.  The Next Chapter of My Life

Today is Monday and I crawl out of bed.  I ask myself, what will today bring.  I didn’t sleep well at all last night.  I don’t care what they say, getting older does not mean getting better.  I feel my body changing and even though I don’t want to admit it, I see it in my eyes.  I think the night sweats are horrible.  My body feels like a thermostat hot and cold all at once.  It’s so horrible and the worst part is trying to explain it to my husband.  He probably thinks I’m crazy but I pray every day that God will help him understand.  I believe that things will get better, my doctor calls it menopause.

So I have to make some decisions in my life and decide where to go from here.  It once seemed like such a simple solution to the inevitable discomforts of menopause; hormone replacement.  A pill a day could cool your hot flashes, while reducing your risk of heart disease, breast cancer, osteoporosis, and memory problems and even keep you looking young and feeling sexy.  For decades, doctors confidently recommended hormone therapy to women, making it sound sensible, modern, and harmless.

But the pretty party came to a shocking end in July 2002, when the Women’s Health Initiative released its initial results, finding that synthetic estrogen and progesterone actually brought higher risks of heart attacks, strokes, and breast cancer.

Women jettisoned their hormones en masse, but the dream did not die.  Now, on the 10th anniversary of WHI, many doctors are reevaluating the landscape.  Low-dose hormones, they say, can be used responsibly by most women with debilitating symptoms if taken for a few years at the time of menopause.  But hormones have FDA approval for just four uses:  Hot flashes, night sweats, vaginal dryness, and the prevention of osteoporosis.  And they’re not even the best solution for osteoporosis, since bone loss resumes once you stop taking them.

Yes and entire industry has sprung up to promote hormones as veritable time-travel pills to transport women back to their supple sexy youth, complete with sounder sleep, sharper memory, smoother skin, steadier mood, and a sleeker silhouette.  Some women do report feeling better on hormone therapy, but the scientific evidence for most of these benefits is meager.  And in any case, doctors do not endorse open-ended use of hormones.

So what’s a menopausal women to do?  The alternative remedies outlined below may not be perfect, but they can offer substantial relief-without the side effects of hormones.  “The anti-aging medicine people want you to spend all your time trying not to get older”: says Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of The Wisdom of Menopause.  Instead, she advises, focus on living well.  “Once you recover from the self-talk that you’re too old, the whole ball game changes,” she says.  “To me, 50 is the beginning of where life gets interesting – in a really good way.

Number 1…Lace Up Your Workout Shoes

Promotes bone strength, heart health, smoother skin, higher energy, reduces hot flashes.111453

Number 2…Eat Mediterranean

Promotes hearth health, better mood; reduces hot flashes.Number 3…Find Joy in Soy

Reduces hot flashes

Number 4…Seek Herbal Relief

Promotes better mood

Number 5…Get The Point of Acupuncture

Reduces stress, anxiety, pain, hot flashes

Number 6…Breathe Deep

Reduces stress, blood pressure, hot flashes

Number 7…Just Say Om

Promotes better mood, hearth health, balance, flexibility, reduces hot flashes.

These are just a few to work on.  And don’t feel like you’re all alone because there are plenty of us right there with you.  Ladies, if you haven’t crossed this line, don’t worry, your time will come.  If you haven’t started to feel any of the symptoms yet, don’t worry, you’ll get there.  On day you’ll wake up and all of your night clothes will be wet and you’ll ask yourself, did it rain in my bed and no one told me (smile).  Or you’ll be standing in line at the supermarket and all of a sudden, it feels like someone lit a fire under your feet and its moving toward your head.  Again, don’t worry, just say, welcome to Menopause.  And thats all I have to say about that until the next time.  We’d love to hear your comments.  Have you reached that magic number where you’re feeling like you’re losing your mind?  Send us your comments, please, we’d love to hear from you.

Until the next time…Here’s Bloggin at you kid.

Yours Truly,

Scotts Link!

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You Can’t Have Him

He’s cheated on me, should I forgive him?  I’ve always been a loving caring wife. Over the past 30 years, I’ve done more than my share trying to keep our relationship together but what happens when enough is not enough.  I look at myself in the mirror and ask what happened to that beautiful bubbling butterfly I used to be? I use to feel so good about myself, now I’m so depressed.  It’s not fair, what did I do to deserve this?  Life drains us little by little each day.  I’m so afraid of being along and like so many other women, I’ve grown to accept the error of his ways.  His girlfriend is bold.   She calls our home at least once a day and hangs up when I answer.  She even makes a point to leave her personals in his car to be sure that I find them.  She tries very hard to torment me and most of the time it works.  She wants him, she wants to take the man away from me who has stolen 30 years of my youth.  The man that I supported when he didn’t have a job.  The man that I helped pay his child support to keep him from going to jail.  She wants a part of me that I refuse to give up without a fightShe wants him.  It hasn’t been easy being married to him.  Sometimes he’s as mean as a snake. He snores at night so loud you can hear him a block away. He has so many bad qualities but they are my qualities and I still love him.   Although he’s never hit me, his tongue at times has cut me like a knife.  He belittles me and then builds me up.  I don’t know why I love him so much.  I wonder what he feels when he’s making love to her.  I wonder does he think about me.  At one time, we had passion that was so strong.  I thought that nothing could ever come between us, but what do you do? I know you out there reading this must think I’m crazy and a fool but you have to ask yourself, what you would do.  My husband takes good care of me.  I live in a wonderful neighborhood in a beautiful home.  I drive a new car and I have plenty of money to spend but there’s someone out there who wants what I have and she’s trying hard to take it away from me.  So, just for the record, I’m not leaving so your little games are not going to work.   What’s the quote, “If you love someone, set them free” and if they’re truly yours they’re supposed to come back to you?  I don’t know how true this statement is but I guess I’m about to find out.  She wants to break up our home but I refuse to go without a fight.  I can go the distance so whoever you are, I hope you’re listening.  You see, I’ve vested too much of me into this man and you can’t have him.

What do you think?  We’d love to hear your comments.  Are you competing with the other woman?  Let’s talk about it.

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The love of my life

The love of my life (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

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Until we talk…Keep Bloggin……

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