Love for One or Love for All?

3DMainBookWell, I guess that really is the question right? We’ve all seen movies like The Notebook or my all time favorite Titanic — even though it had a very sad ending nonetheless it’s a love story. Love is powerful so powerful that it really does affect your emotions from being really happy one moment to sad the next. It seems like each year the love I have for my husband gets stronger by the year, by the day, or better yet by the hour. See that’s the thing I personally love for one and then I love for all so there are no sides.

Let me explain. I have been in love since I was a teenage girl with my husband for a very long time. I have loved all my life. There’s a slight difference of course. I remember listening to those old soft jams late at night that made my heart melt. I’m what they call the hopeless romantic. I believe one can be happy if he/she is in love. I’m not saying that you can’t fall in love over and over again, I actually hear you can but there’s always that one special guy/girl that takes your breath away. Now the downfall is, just as much as you love them you could hate them just the same.

That’s where the power of love comes in many shapes of emotions. You know how one day you’re in a really good mood but then one little thing could turn your smile into a frown? Love works just the same. Think about that night you got so angry at your spouse, or boyfriend, girlfriend, etc and you said the most meanest thing ever. Whoa now, how could you say you love that person so much but yet you hit it, right where it hurts. Well, there it goes again the shapes of emotions. Some days you will feel head over heals and other days you’d actually feel sad or distant but that doesn’t mean that you’re not in love anymore.

111378Now when you love for all you’re loving everything about your life. Your family, your friends, your accomplishments, your favorite TV show, etc. But just like being in love you will go through the shapes of emotions and some day you may hate those things. Love isn’t something you just say and go on about your day. Say it to yourself one evening while sipping on your favorite beverage and watch how it just rolls out of your tongue and the feeling you get when you say it. Everyone wants to be loved, and be in love as well. The point is, there are going to be days where you want to give up and sadly throw it all away.

But you should never take advantage of the power of love because love is a part of life. I don’t know maybe one day you decide to give up because your ego got in the way or you’ve fallen in love with someone else. Or sadly maybe the other half fell out of love with you — hey it happens. You just have to continue living life and loving all around you because without love you may be lost. Remember this saying by Alfred Lord Tennyson:

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
In the meantime, we need to hear your comments.  For now,  keep bloggin and I’ll see you at the TOP!!!

Love, Dating and Marriage

For one who has spent quite a number of years on the love, dating and marriage scene, I feel qualified to make certain bold statements. Without apology, it is quite clear that every normal human being desires to be happy. However, let the truth be told to those who care to listen that being married or being single has nothing to do with being happy. Deciding to get married because you are presently unhappy may open you up to a rude shock! Conversely, deciding to stay single because many marriages these days don’t last may leave you equally unfulfilled and unhappy. Being happy is a choice, remaining single is a choice and being married is a choice. You can CHOOSE to be the way you want to be. What you choose is what you become! It is this basic lack of understanding that has precipitated the numerous cries of “help save my marriage” that is noised all over the place these days.111474

The western world has the greatest number of relationship experts, counselors, books, and materials yet holds the record of having the highest divorce rate, most number of single parents, and a greater ratio of single women of marriageable age to married than at any other period in time. Furthermore, there is a consistent move away from the heterosexual relationship and an emphasis on same sex relationship/marriage.

In my extensive study and research on the internet, one cannot but wonder if the aim of these so-called experts giving advice in love relationship is to mislead the vulnerable, gullible and unsuspecting consumers of their products and services and sabotage their relationships. One of the tenets of capitalism is to find out what the consumers want, produce, sell and make a killing out of it. The direct consequence of this phenomenon on the relationship scene is that in order to produce best-sellers, experts have continued to churn out stuff that THE CONSUMERS WANT TO HEAR not the things they NEED TO HEAR!!! No wonder the high rate of relationship failure and a destruction of the marriage and family institutions. It is all a game of numbers, and bountiful sales lead to plenty dollars in the bank. It is this burden to make a positive difference in the lives of people and correct all the false psychological theories that birthed this article

Marriage comes with certain ENJOYMENTS that singles are not afforded. Marriage is an adventure that you are encouraged to explore. However, with the enjoyments come the responsibilities. Note that you may enjoy without being happy. You may enjoy the financial security that comes with being married or the sex, the status, the respect you are given for being a married woman/man, the joy of parenthood e.t.c.   No wonder some stay married despite the fact that they are not really happy. The reason is that there are some aspects of the relationship that they are enjoying and to them the benefit of staying married outweighs the divorce/single life option.

UNDERSTANDING THE RESPONSIBILITIES

The male man (man) and the female man (woman) are both human beings but with different roles. In a relationship, two is attempting to become one. They must thus understand that to operate as ONE TEAM each must understand and operate in its unique role. The male becomes the HEAD of the team while the female becomes the HEART of the team. The man is called to lead while the woman is called to help. The heart is the organ to love with while the head is the organ to think, reason and coordinate with. As the heart, it is easy for the woman to be tender and loving but she has to learn to yield, submit to the leadership of her man and to complement and not compete with him. As the head, it is easy for the man to lead and co-ordinate and take the initiative but he must learn to be tender and loving always responding to the heart deep advice and nudging of the woman. This is the perfect team! Anything other than this arrangement is CONFUSION!!

The woman in a relationship may be intelligent and richer than the man but she has to step aside and let him take charge because that is his calling. To illustrate this: Take for example a car. All the occupants of the car may know how to drive. But to get them to their mutual destination only one of them will have to drive. This is because there is only one driver seat. Others may give their opinion as to where and when to turn in order to get them to where they are going but the decision and the responsibility lie in the hands of the driver. That is the man’s role. The moment each person in the relationship understands that marriage comes with enjoyments as well as responsibilities and each person is willing to accept and carry out their responsibilities, true happiness will be the result. This I believe is the best relationship love advice that can be offered at such a difficult time on the relationships scene.

 

Until the next time, here’s bloggin at you kid..  Scotts Link!!110889

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce And Rekindle The Love

Many couples are desperate and in need of help and information on how to save a marriage from divorce and get back that “lovin’ feeling” that brought them together in the first place. Too many marriages today have either ended in divorce, are in the process of divorce, or unknowingly headed for divorce. It’s a brutal statistic but 50% of marriages today will be destroyed through a divorce, and that is a conservative estimate!  111359

The great news in all this is that divorce does not need to be the ultimate outcome of your relationship woes. There is so much you can do, right now, to stop the negative momentum in your relationship that is quickly pushing your marriage towards the divorce statistics.

If you are interested and open to learning how to save a marriage from divorce I think you will find this article helpful, and I truly hope that you will take what I share and apply it immediately to your relationship. Time is of the essence when your marriage is on the line. Truth is if you are at this stage and worried about divorce you have already put things off too long. So I challenge and encourage you to read this and then start applying what you learn this very night!

Before you can save your marriage you need to isolate the problems that are threatening it. You can’t fight an enemy you can’t see. If your marriage is in trouble there are a few, tell-tale, signs that you need to be aware of and then confront. They include:

1. A lack of desire to be together – This is a huge red flag and needs to be dealt with yesterday! If you and your partner find it painful to “hang-out” and find that you would rather do “whatever” either on your own or with a friend, then very likely there is a serious problem with your relationship. While it is true that everyone is busy, if your daily activities, work commitments, time spent with children and friends so dominate your schedule that there is no time left for your spouse, there is serious trouble brewing and this issue needs to be addressed. If spending time together is not a top priority, then you need to stop everything and re-prioritize your life. How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love has to include quality time spent together with your spouse!

2. A feeling of resentment – If there is an underlying sense of resentment, (towards your spouse or vice-versa), or perhaps it is even outright, in your face resentment, then you need to be alarmed! This is not a healthy aspect for any marriage and will eat away at your relationship like rust on steroids! If resentment is causing you to feel that you don’t even like your spouse anymore, then your marriage is in a major crisis and you need to take immediate action.

3. A lack or void of intimacy – If you and your spouse have not been intimate for a long time, and it doesn’t seem to bother you, then this is another red flag that should cause you to be concerned. If you are really interested in how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, than you have to take a serious look at the intimacy factor in your relationship. While a lack of sex does not mean a marriage is on the rocks, a total lack of intimacy is a good indicator that this is the case. Intimacy is more complex than just sex and includes enjoyment and fulfillment from tender moments spent together, through hugging, kissing, snuggling and just being together physically.

4. An inability to communicate – Another indicator that your marriage is in trouble and may be headed for divorce is when you and your spouse don’t talk or “discuss” things normally anymore; you merely argue and disagree about everything. If conversation has become a chore and it seems easier to just not talk than have to deal with the emotional stress and anxiety you feel after verbal interaction, then now is the time to sit up, take notice and make some serious changes. Open, healthy communication is an absolute essential part of a strong, fulfilling marriage. You will not discover how to save your marriage from divorce until you first discover how to communicate properly and lovingly.

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Requires A Game Plan:

OK, now that we have identified some definite red flags and you realize that your relationship troubles may be more serious than you thought, we need to look at positive measures to take now to bring healing and restoration. The following suggestions will answer, in part, the nagging question of, “How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love again”:

* The first step to bringing healing into your marriage is to open up the lines of communication. You need to take the time to talk. This won’t happen on its own, you must make the time. This needs to be a two-way dialogue where you and your spouse open up to one another and share your concerns. Be honest and address the problems, openly sharing your ideas and thoughts. You and your spouse deserve to know how each other are feeling. Then, together, establish helpful and reasonable solutions.

* Be sure to stay calm and never raise your voice during this time of reconnecting and communicating. Go out of your way to be polite and respectful in your communication skills. The tone of voice and body language can speak volumes, so be aware of both. At all costs, avoid accusations and finger-pointing. If your spouse feels threatened it will be “game-over”. After you have shared your concerns listen carefully, and intently, to your partner’s response and then be proactive in working with her/him in coming up with restorative resolutions of how to save a marriage from divorce.

* If you have success in communicating then continue spending time together working things out. No matter how busy “life” gets couples that want to stay together must find the time to shut out the rest of the world and be alone. You will each, most likely, have to reduce your obligations, but it will be so worth it. Learning how to save a marriage from divorce will involve retraining yourselves and rethinking your priorities.

* Plan a date night! It seems so cliche but it is effective. Even if it only happens once or twice a month, you will find this, alone time, to be extraordinarily advantageous to restoring your relationship. It will enable you to reconnect with one another, helping you to identify and appreciate each other all over again and give you a sense of just how valuable your marriage really is. Do not underestimate the value of this step in your plan of how to save a marriage from divorce.adoreebook

The key of how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, is to first and foremost recognize that there is a serious problem and then become immediately proactive in addressing the issues and working together to find, and implement, solutions that will bring reconciliation and healing to the relationship. There is no better time than the present to begin, and time is of the essence…

All the best!

Stop the Divorce …Save Your Marriage..

You are in a tricky situation currently; you are considering divorce; your wife has already walked out on you; you found her cheating; your marriage is failing for reasons unknown. But you obviously do care; you are a forgiving loving man; you want to stop the divorce; you want to save your marriage.

Does this describe your situation? You are reading this article so you obviously do care about your marriage. You wish that your wife could be in love with you until “death do you part”, even though she has already separated from you.

You understand that divorce is one of the worst things in the world. It affects not only you and your spouse, but also your children, your extended family,  and your friends. Some of the sad consequences of a marriage breakup can be seen in the following list:

– Your family life is wrecked
– Your children have split parents
– Your children have to cope with shared custodyadoreebook
– Your children have split loyalties
– You friends have split loyalties
– Your finances are torn apart
– Years of savings go up in smoke (or get paid to the lawyer!)
– You loose your home
– Hours of long drawn out legal battles in a divorce court
– You loose at least half of what you own
– You have ongoing alimony payments
– You have ongoing child support payments
– You feel hostile towards your wife and she towards you
– There are months or years of grieving

Is it worth it? Is this what you want? I would not wish divorce on my worst enemy. So stop the divorce now. Save your marriage

There is plenty of help available to help you work through and resolve the issues. You will find various solutions recommended by marriage guidance councellors and in the many self help books available.

But be careful. Research what others are doing;and do the opposite! Why? Because they’ve got it wrong. What they are doing doesn’t seem to work. Almost everyone believes that human beings make the ideal decisions based on reason. In a perfect world, you could see a marriage counsellor, come up with a plan (maybe by having “date nights” or “intimacy time”) and everything would be perfect. But it is not.

If you go to a relationship guru, they will tell you that you can “communicate” your way into a great marriage. But in reality, simply “talking through” your problems is the worse thing you can do. Apologizing, discussing, compromising, grovelling, begging, even communicating, sometimes these logic based approaches have limited success.

As a man one of the key points for you to know about your wife is that she uses emotion rather than logic when making personal decisions! And logic kills attraction. So if you want to build massive feelings of love and attraction in your wife, you have to look at what really makes her feel those things!

But the good news is that no matter how bad things have gotten, no matter how disinterested your wife might seem, no matter if one of you has cheated, no matter if you’re already separated – you can stop the divorce. You can save your marriage. But the longer you hesitate to do something about it the more likely you are to end up in a divorce court.

If you’re like most men, you have probably already tried everything you can to save your marriage, but nothing seems to work! Counselling didn’t work, books that claimed they could save your marriage didn’t work, and advice from your best mate or your sister didn’t work either. And now you have approached the best, a really expensive divorce lawyer. Will he/she be the savior of your marriage – I think not.

If you are so befuddled by the range of information available on this topic that you are unsure where to start, don’t worry you are not the only one. There are a lot of men in similar circumstances to you. It is time now to re-invest in your marriage and super-charge it with more love, passion, fun and excitement than ever before. Educate yourself on some fantastic insights into the human condition. Become that powerful guy once more.

The answer to how to stop the divorce and save your marriage is quite simple really. The law of attraction forms the foundation. Can you remember the early days of marriage bliss when you loved each other like nothing before? Can you recollect who you were when she loved you like that? In fact the only thing you have to do is wake up that same man your wife married.

If the attraction between spouses is dead and buried how will they prevent that divorce and save the marriage? In point of fact, the answer is not found by solving problems. It is actually found in building attraction. You have to develop so much heat and passion in your spouse that she is madly in love with you again. To stop that divorce and save your marriage you must lead your wife from being totally disinterested in you to being so attracted to you that you become the king of the castle and she is the queen by your side.

Would you like to know the secret about how to do that? Then here it is. In one word in is called leadership. If your marriage is in trouble, then you have not succeeded in leading your wife! Stop the divorce and save your marriage by becoming once again that amazing, compelling, dynamic leader your wife first fell in love with.

On a biological level, sex drive is all about the continuation of mankind. Males with commanding leadership qualities appeal to females because subconsciously they view strong leaders as the provider, the protector, and the giver of life through fatherhood. And so nature has programmed women on a biological level to be massively attracted to leaders. Regardless of what anyone might tell you, women do not like weak men. It turns us off…

You are probably thinking that this attitude is not politically correct. Of course in business and society,  women have total equality. But if you are serious about stopping that divorce and saving your marriage, if you want your wife to be attracted to you and in love with your forever, then that leader had better be you! lead your wife and let her biology do the rest. And that all I have to say about that. So send us your comments, tell us what’s on your mind. We’d love to hear from you.

We’re giving away FREE STUFF!!   So don’t forget to comment.

Scotts Link!

Why Passion is So Important in Your Relationship and Life

Passion is intense feeling, strong excitement, strong affection, love, intense desire and enthusiasm. You can have passion for anything or anyone. We all have a basic need to feel passion.

In other words, passion or being passionate is the fire in our eyes, in our bodies and in our lives that drives us forward–whether it’s for our work, our hobbies, or for our relationships.
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When people lose passion or fire in their lives or in their relationships, you can sure tell it. They go through their lives as if they are on auto-pilot and the joy just seems to have leaked out of them.

When people have passion for life or their relationships, you can also see it and feel it, even if they are quiet about it. Having passion is a way of living every moment of your life to its fullest.

Whether you are waiting in line at the bank, helping your children with homework or talking with your partner, a co-worker or family member–when you have and are living your life with passion, your heart is open to experiencing the joys of connecting with others or even with yourself.

To us, having passion means being truthful, being both powerful and vulnerable, having a willingness to stay and go deeper, taking responsibility for creating what we want in our lives, being open and allowing inner radiance to shine through–and of course being open to connecting with others, as well as with ourselves.

Our list could go on and on and you would probably have other ways of defining what it means to you that would also work– but you get the idea.

What we have discovered is that when it comes to having and feeling passion, you know when you have it and you also know when you don’t.

We were just thinking about a time recently when the two of us had a misunderstanding that could have turned into an ugly situation but didn’t because neither one of us closed to the other. We kept our hearts open to each other and continued working out our differences while we went about our daily activities and work. That’s having and keeping passion for each other and for keeping our relationship alive, growing, close and connected.

Having passion can mean many things in your life and your relationship. We invite you to decide what you are passionate about having in your life and then be open to doing what you need to do to keeping it that way.111350

3 Tips For Reigniting the Spark in Your Love Relationship Or Marriage

A comic wryly jokes about the pitfalls of being in a long-term relationship. He observes that the “adorable and still in love” elderly couple seen walking closely arm-in-arm in the park are actually merely leaning on one another so that they don’t fall down.

According to this comic, there is no such thing as passion in a relationship once you’ve been together for years and years– your body starts to go and you literally need one another just to get around.

This comedian’s jokes got laughs from his audience, but we simply do not agree.111474

When the spark goes out in your love relationship or marriage, it is no laughing matter.

When the spark goes out in your love relationship or marriage, it’s not inevitable either.

Julia looks with envy at her married friends. She has had several serious relationships, but none of them have been serious enough to take that step to get married.

Sometimes it’s the guy who seems unable to take their commitment to a deeper level. And sometimes it’s Julia who becomes bored or dissatisfied with her partner. She ends up breaking it off because she can’t envision herself spending the rest of her life with this man.

Still, Julia hopes that one day she will find the right guy and get married. She’d like to be in a long-term relationship that is filled with passion and stays that way. But she’s also a realist. She knows that isn’t what normally happens.

You might already be married or in a committed relationship. You might feel a lack of romance or passion with your partner but, just like Julia and the comic above, you believe that it’s natural and even unavoidable.

We’re here to help you question that belief. We’re here to tell you that you don’t have to settle for a spark-less relationship.

The excitement that you crave with your partner can be re-ignited, sustained and even expanded upon.

Here are 3 tips to get you started….

#1) Create an expectation that you and your mate will be connected and passionate as long as you are together.

Many people carry around the expectation that there is a “honeymoon” phase in every relationship (even those that don’t involve marriage) and, after that, it’s all downhill. You and your partner settle into sharing life together and there simply isn’t time or energy for passion.

If you look around, you might very well find that others in long-term relationships seem to go through this type of trajectory. As the couple gets to know one another, it’s all cards, flowers and romance. After a time, however, the flame dwindles and sometimes even dies out.

Part of the problem here is that people expect that after a certain number of years or after a particular age, you cannot share sensuality, red hot love or an enlivening closeness with one another– it seems nearly impossible.

If you hold such beliefs and expectations, we recommend that you think again. Ask yourself this: Is it true that every single couple who has ever been together has lost their spark at a certain point in their relationship?

If you put the question in that way, you’ll undoubtedly determine that you can’t know this with any certainty.

The truth is, there are scores of couples all across the globe who do enjoy that kind of passion. You might even know people who have created such a relationship.

And we’d bet that none of those couples hold an expectation that it is “natural” for the spark to go out.

The great news is this: You can change your expectations. It requires you become aware of the way you tend to think and believe. It also requires you to introduce new thoughts and beliefs into your consciousness.

#2) Find your inner spark and keep feeding your spirit.
Julia has begun to shift her expectations about passion in love relationships and especially marriages. She’s even found a few role model couples that have given her hope that excitement can stay alive in long-term relationships.

While Julia is currently single, she is finding ways to keep her own inner spark flourishing. She’s starting to realize that it’s not the responsibility of her future partner to keep her sense of spirit and spark strong– that’s her job– regardless of her relationship status.

Don’t focus on all of the ways that your partner seemingly fails to ignite a spark in your relationship. Instead, take responsibility for figuring out what helps your heart sing and what makes you feel grateful to be alive, walking around as the person you are.

When two people who are tending and feeding their own inner sparks come together in a relationship, the passion will grow even bigger!

Your spirit might feel nourished and fed as you engage in a hobby, volunteer activity or other activity. It might not be an activity, but a new way of thinking and caring for yourself that helps you to feel more alive.

Whatever works for you, find it and keep on doing it!

#3) Share that sense of passion with your mate.
Don’t worry that your partner will feel threatened as you take a pottery class, write poetry or even go off to play a round of golf.

You can set an example for him or her by making yourself responsible for keeping your inner spark alive. You will also most likely come to interactions with our mate feeling more satisfied, open and relaxed.

But don’t cut out your mate either.

Find ways to share the sense of passion that you feel when you do whatever it is that you do that helps to nourish your spirit.

Even if your partner has no interest in the pottery, the poetry or the golf, he or she can still join in with you. Perhaps your excitement about what you do is similar to his or her excitement about another activity.

Stay open and focus mainly on how much more alive you each feel when you’re tending to your own inner sparks. Honor one another and look for places where your possibly different interests overlap and come together.

Celebrate this and allow connection as both of your passionate feelings converge.

You’re never too old and it’s never too late to re-ignite the spark. Do it for your relationship and do it for yourself.

And that’s all I have to say about that.  Tell us what you think.  We’d love to hear your comments.

Until the next time, here’s bloggin at you….  Scotts Link!

Dating, Romance, Love and Marriage – Are These Still in Fashion?

“Where would we all be without romance?”

Almost anyone may say. “Romance is the spice of life,” goes another one that seems quite accurate. “Love is a many-splendored thing it’s the April rose that only blooms in the early spring..”111378 so goes a song by Frank Sinatra and adopted as a theme song by almost any romantic love couple from the 1940’s onwards. However, the great William Shakespeare has this to say, “Men have died and worms have eaten them… but not for love.”

Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames.” enthused Thomas Moore in a cynic mood about romance, love and marriage. Such a lot of effort and ink has been drained in writing about various emotions and feelings involving dating, romance, love and marriage. Many daydream happily and contentedly because of these and many also cried. Courtship, love and marriage are universal concepts. These concepts exist on people’s culture, animals and plants, even in our imagined extraterrestrials, practically everything that live and breathe. They are integral part of our culture. Single red rose flowerIn a society, the basic unit is the family. What will a family be without a marriage of two individuals? How will two individuals marry if there is no romance and love? How will two individuals find romance and love if they do not go out to date, be with each other and learn more about each other? It is truly a chain of concepts.

One does not exist without the other. There are all sorts of scientific, Christian, chemical, biological, and etc. views that explains and expands about them. They can be subjective or objective. They can be an issue of religion and an issue of modern science. The main fact is they exist and they have been in fashion as long as everyone of us can remember. These concepts have been in fashion ever since the oldest human on earth in the Guinness Book of Records was born. With regards to how these concepts come to exist. There are various warring notions about these. Popular Christian belief is that God loves us that is why He made a way for people to feel love because the powerful feelings of love will be the one to wash away the mortal sins of the people. Love will ultimately be the one to bring peace. Dating, romance and marriage all have their versions in the Holy Bible. Would you remember the love stories in the Bible? Even if people have different cultures and customs, Christian people always have believed in love.

Meanwhile, the Greek and Roman mythologies also have their versions about dating, romance, love and marriage that until now affect the modern people. Scientifically, if you would follow Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, we will find that the basis of why the universe and all the things that exist in it is because of nature. With regards to practices, there are many spanning from ancient times until now. During the ancient times, most of the marriages were through capture and not by choice. Meanwhile, the arranged marriages and forced love came up when people began business relationships, borne out of the need for money, property, or political alliances. The Medieval and Victorian eras saw the birth of romantic concepts as a big factor in love and marriage. These eras were also the birth of the dating activities when men would wine and dine the women. “Medieval Chivalry” and “Victorian Formality” were among the famous terms that would best describe these periods. Along these periods were also the birth of customs, beliefs and popular inclination about people regarding dating, romance, love and marriage.

For example, men are the ones who should be entertaining the women and not the other way around during dates. Eventually, especially in patriarchal cultures, men are the dominant ones. Women are regarded helpless and dependent. Especially during the Victorian era, men were knights in shining armors and women are the damsels in distress. Women are more romantic and prone to loving too much. Men are more reasonable and must be dependable. The concepts about sex and procreation also came into play along with romance and love. Nowadays with the diversity in culture and the significant changes in the society, it is but understandable that the views on dating, romance, love and marriage have changed largely. However, they are still concepts very much in fashion. If not why are there so many things that have these things as topics? And why the Sex and the City craze? The girls in here find havoc in terms of dating, romance, love and marriage in the world of NYC but they have hope. It is a testament that dating, romance, love and marriage are still fashionable. What are your feelings about this?  We’d love to hear your comments.  Do you still believe in old fashion love?

When is the last time your mate did something romantic for you?

Check out this site:  Romance lives here:  htttp://scottlnkdesign.com

Until the next time, here’s bloggin at you kid…stay happy, stay in love. Scotts Link!

Marriage Relationship Advice

I have a few marriage relationship advice tips for you. It seems that when we first fall in love with someone it feels like the love will last forever, and we get married with the idea that love and the chemistry will keep us together noDesireme matter what.  It’s funny how, as we grow older our relationships change but we don’t want to change with our relationships. We start to take things for granted and we stop caring.  Once we stop caring, the relationship starts to fade and then the party’s over.  We have to start to think long-term instead of day by day.  When you find your partner, you have to know in your heart and say to yourself that this one is going to be the last one for the rest of your life.  Treat that relationship with the respect that its going to be around long term and it will last.
Today when about half of all marriages end in divorce, it’s clear that just the love and chemistry alone does not work. So it pays to know more before we get married. But if you’re already married, then what? Well here’s some marriage relationship advice that can help before marriage or after that will keep couples together.

My first marriage relationship advice tip would be –

As time passes in a relationship or marriage couples tend to fall into a routine. Doing the same things, going to the same places. Ask your partner out on a date. Do something new and special together. Try going to the zoo, beach, aquarium or a carnival.

On a date you can get dressed up and look your  best, you’ll have more time alone to communicate and be drawn closer together. A date can help bring a dull or stale relationship out of a rut and bring some life back into it.

Another marriage relationship advice tip would be to ask some things about your partner. Do they want kids? Do they want a career? Do they go to church? And much more. You would be surprised how many couples fail to ask about the most simple of topics before they get married. Then after marriage, they still don’t ask the most important questions.

One of the biggest factors in most couples getting a divorce is they fail to ask one another the right questions. If you fail to sit down with your partner and ask them about your future, sex, religion, finances, and many others you’re going to wind up in nothing but argument after argument.

So my marriage relationship advice is to really get to know each other really well. And never let a day pass without a compliment or praise for your partner. Tell them how wonderful they are. Love and romance them and they will return the favor. It is much easier to love if you are loved.
Constantly support your spouse. Cheer for them, don’t boo them or give them the silent treatment.

In the end as a couple you both need to make it your number 1 priority to get to know each other inside and out before you end in a broken relationship.  And that all I have to say about that.  Be true to yourself.  Happiness is waiting for you.

 

It’s all good!!! So until then, keep bloggin and I’ll see you at the TOP!!!!

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Real Love Versus the Fake Stuff

Do you know the difference between real and fake love?

Just like any counterfeit object or characteristic, it can be tricky to know and identify the real from the fake. Sometimes, even experts can’t tell what is genuine and what is not. The fake stuff resembles the real thing in many aspects. The facade can look exactly like the true article. Hollywood sets with their cardboard exteriors are good examples of that. So when it comes to falling in love, if the object of your affection looks good, sounds reasonable, and seems to feel the same way you do, you may not get it that he or she is not what you think they are. What are the defining characteristics that can signal to you what is real and what is fake? What are the warning signs you need to heed? Essentially, the fake love fades away as soon as the chemistry wears off. But love endures, showing up in the actions and deeds of the two people.

Here are the signs of fake love:111442

1. Time

Fake love, which is chemistry only, lasts anywhere from three weeks to a year and a half and then disappears. Real love loses the immediacy of the chemical rush, but retains chemistry while it grows deeper and calmer. The onset of both kinds of love is marked by obsession. For a period of time, the two people in love cannot think about anything but the other one. They may lose weight, lose sleep, and lose all concept of time. Nothing else exists for them except the other person. When this chemical high wears off, the true picture of the person emerges for them. All of the above involves…time.

2. Projection

Fake love, based primarily on physical intimacy, is what two people assume about each other.  They can’t see future problems. Idealized qualities, lives built on fantasy, and a perfect life together dominates their thoughts. Each one insists that the other one is the greatest person they have ever met. The problem is, they haven’t really MET each other yet. They are relating to their idealized version. When this cyclone of projection ends and the dust settles, the true person emerges. Then they can decide if they are right for each other.

3. Fairy Tales

Counterfeit love feeds off of the stuff of fairy tales. The women in the story want Prince Charming. They will have riches, happiness, love, and all dreams come true. The man in the story, who feels like a frog and may even look like one, is kissed by the princess. He miraculously turns into a handsome, dashing Prince. When two people get together and fall into the chemical cocktail, they unconsciously can fall into this stylized story. Only when the chemicals wear off do they actually see each other. They may like each other, in which case, real love may develop. Or- the chemicals become toxic, the guy goes back to being a frog, and she looks for another prince.

4. The Future

When two people meet and fall into chemistry, they may begin to plan their future together within weeks. Their “real” selves are not talking to each other here – it’s their spiced, fried, scrambled brain that can’t be trusted to make clear decisions. What does REAL love look like? It is able to get past the chemistry phase and into real-time. Fake love involves conflict, drama, and pain, once the chemistry wears off. Real love evolves into service, thought, care, and sincere emotions for the other. Real love is shown in loving acts – over and over – with no one keeping score. Real love responds to the needs of the other, flowing effortlessly from one day to the next.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

We would love to hear your comments, just tell us what you think.  and  while you’re at it, check out these sites.  There are all kinds of solutions for Matters of the Heart.

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Seven Secrets to Find A Good Mate

4061251. Make a list of qualities you’d like in a mate. Then look at that list and get to work on having all those qualities yourself. It is not that you are looking for the “right one.” That is a “gimme” attitude. Become the “right one” that someone else would love to have as a spouse. Are you kind? Can you keep your apartment/house clean? Do you get places on time? Take some time to write down your answers to these questions. Use a spiral, or a journal…just do it.

2. Take a year (or at least 6 months) to get to know yourself without dating. Do you know what you like and dislike? What are your natural talents? What skills have you learned? What are your dreams? How would you like your life to be in 50 years? Do you know yourself? Are you living a life of total honesty and not deceiving anyone, including yourself?

3. STOP having sex and don’t move in with anyone. This is the #1 mistake women and men make over and over. Why would they want to marry you if they can have sex anytime and for free? Show me a woman who won’t go to bed with a man, who thinks of herself as a precious jewel, but is not arrogant, who is confident and happy with who she is and I’ll show you a woman that men are irresistibly attracted to.

4. Become content with being by yourself and without any person to make you feel complete. The best marriages are when two separate people are successful in their own lives (and in their own eyes!). They have accepted who they are and come to love themselves exact the way they are today. Can you say that about yourself?

5. Don’t worry and live in this day right now. Don’t look all the way down the journey. Just look at today and what you can do to make today better…for you. Take little tiny baby steps. And then take another step forward tomorrow. Always move forward. Forget the past and your mistakes. Lay them down. Better yet, learn the lessons from your past and MOVE ON!

6. Keep moving forward & keep getting up. Professional football players are amazing. After the play stops, they get up or jump to their feet and go back to the huddle or the line of scrimmage to execute the next play. All that seems to matter is that they gain a yard here, a few yards there, yet they are slowly moving in a forward direction. We can analyze too much, instead of putting one foot in front of the other, having faith that it will all work out for the best.

7. Ask for help when you need it. Everyone needs help at some time or another. No one gets totally healthy all in one day. It is a process; it takes time. Older and wiser people really have good advice to give. It will be well worth your time to listen and perhaps save yourself months and years of regret and sorrow. Be humble enough to listen to another’s suggestion, so that you don’t have to make the mistakes they did and so that you can live a fuller, more satisfying life!