Love for One or Love for All?

3DMainBookWell, I guess that really is the question right? We’ve all seen movies like The Notebook or my all time favorite Titanic — even though it had a very sad ending nonetheless it’s a love story. Love is powerful so powerful that it really does affect your emotions from being really happy one moment to sad the next. It seems like each year the love I have for my husband gets stronger by the year, by the day, or better yet by the hour. See that’s the thing I personally love for one and then I love for all so there are no sides.

Let me explain. I have been in love since I was a teenage girl with my husband for a very long time. I have loved all my life. There’s a slight difference of course. I remember listening to those old soft jams late at night that made my heart melt. I’m what they call the hopeless romantic. I believe one can be happy if he/she is in love. I’m not saying that you can’t fall in love over and over again, I actually hear you can but there’s always that one special guy/girl that takes your breath away. Now the downfall is, just as much as you love them you could hate them just the same.

That’s where the power of love comes in many shapes of emotions. You know how one day you’re in a really good mood but then one little thing could turn your smile into a frown? Love works just the same. Think about that night you got so angry at your spouse, or boyfriend, girlfriend, etc and you said the most meanest thing ever. Whoa now, how could you say you love that person so much but yet you hit it, right where it hurts. Well, there it goes again the shapes of emotions. Some days you will feel head over heals and other days you’d actually feel sad or distant but that doesn’t mean that you’re not in love anymore.

111378Now when you love for all you’re loving everything about your life. Your family, your friends, your accomplishments, your favorite TV show, etc. But just like being in love you will go through the shapes of emotions and some day you may hate those things. Love isn’t something you just say and go on about your day. Say it to yourself one evening while sipping on your favorite beverage and watch how it just rolls out of your tongue and the feeling you get when you say it. Everyone wants to be loved, and be in love as well. The point is, there are going to be days where you want to give up and sadly throw it all away.

But you should never take advantage of the power of love because love is a part of life. I don’t know maybe one day you decide to give up because your ego got in the way or you’ve fallen in love with someone else. Or sadly maybe the other half fell out of love with you — hey it happens. You just have to continue living life and loving all around you because without love you may be lost. Remember this saying by Alfred Lord Tennyson:

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
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Marriage Relationship Advice

I have a few marriage relationship advice tips for you. It seems that when we first fall in love with someone it feels like the love will last forever, and we get married with the idea that love and the chemistry will keep us together noDesireme matter what.  It’s funny how, as we grow older our relationships change but we don’t want to change with our relationships. We start to take things for granted and we stop caring.  Once we stop caring, the relationship starts to fade and then the party’s over.  We have to start to think long-term instead of day by day.  When you find your partner, you have to know in your heart and say to yourself that this one is going to be the last one for the rest of your life.  Treat that relationship with the respect that its going to be around long term and it will last.
Today when about half of all marriages end in divorce, it’s clear that just the love and chemistry alone does not work. So it pays to know more before we get married. But if you’re already married, then what? Well here’s some marriage relationship advice that can help before marriage or after that will keep couples together.

My first marriage relationship advice tip would be –

As time passes in a relationship or marriage couples tend to fall into a routine. Doing the same things, going to the same places. Ask your partner out on a date. Do something new and special together. Try going to the zoo, beach, aquarium or a carnival.

On a date you can get dressed up and look your  best, you’ll have more time alone to communicate and be drawn closer together. A date can help bring a dull or stale relationship out of a rut and bring some life back into it.

Another marriage relationship advice tip would be to ask some things about your partner. Do they want kids? Do they want a career? Do they go to church? And much more. You would be surprised how many couples fail to ask about the most simple of topics before they get married. Then after marriage, they still don’t ask the most important questions.

One of the biggest factors in most couples getting a divorce is they fail to ask one another the right questions. If you fail to sit down with your partner and ask them about your future, sex, religion, finances, and many others you’re going to wind up in nothing but argument after argument.

So my marriage relationship advice is to really get to know each other really well. And never let a day pass without a compliment or praise for your partner. Tell them how wonderful they are. Love and romance them and they will return the favor. It is much easier to love if you are loved.
Constantly support your spouse. Cheer for them, don’t boo them or give them the silent treatment.

In the end as a couple you both need to make it your number 1 priority to get to know each other inside and out before you end in a broken relationship.  And that all I have to say about that.  Be true to yourself.  Happiness is waiting for you.


It’s all good!!! So until then, keep bloggin and I’ll see you at the TOP!!!!

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7 Rules in the Dating Game

410133It is a well considered opinion that the best approach to dating is to see it as a game. All games have rules. From the traditional to the professional games of all shades and colours, rules are at the base of its enjoyment. The dating game is not left out. In fact, knowing the dating game rules and playing by it is a sine quo non for success in dating. These dating rules are applicable throughout the season of dating and beyond and would be helpful in sustaining the courtship and marriage relationships that could flow from a dating relationship. It applies to younger people who are dating for the purpose of socialization as well as the older people who are dating for the purpose of marriage. These rules also apply to relationships unrelated to dating, courtship and marriage. Learned and applied on other facets of life, these rules would give one the advantage in situations where dealing with other people are involved.

Rule 1: Independence and Sense of Self-worth

Your primary concern in any relationship – regardless of what kind of relationship it is – is to be yourself. This means that you need to know what you want from life and the relationship. You need to love and respect yourself. You need to know that you are an individual with potential for the best in life and not be prepared to settle for less. You might ask yourself these questions before you take up the dating bull by its horns – Who do I think that I am? What do I want from this relationship? Where are my moral boundaries? How much do I love myself? It would be a great idea to measure your self-esteem and self-confidence levels and ascertain that you are absolutely sure that you could not be confused by veiled seductive signals from the opposite sex.

Rule 2: Be prepared to create and have fun

The base purpose of all games is to create and have fun. There is no reason the dating game should be otherwise. When we try to make other people happy, we are happy ourselves. So, this is a rule you can derive its dual benefits with one act. The law of reciprocity comes to play here. If you give, you receive, most times double or ten times over. The next time, therefore, you have a date coming, remember this rule and get prepared in your mind on those things you can do to create fun for your partner so that you can also have fun. The success of any dating effort is rated by how much fun both partners had. If you deliberately plan and do make your date feel happy while you were out together, the better you feel yourself. It must be stated, though, that the fun spoken about here is not fornication – sexual intercourse.

Rule 3: Effective Communication

Effective communication is the bedrock of all relationships whether or not connected to affairs of the heart. Nowhere is this more critical than in the affairs of the heart. In fact, the dating and courtship period of every relationship is the time to learn and apply this rule so that one would be wise in it. In effective communication, you are not only just required to communicate well; you are required to help your partner to understand you. This could be a thorny challenge in life. Without effective communication, it would be difficult to find friendship, trust, respect, love, understanding, etc where the requisite building blocks of the foundation for joyful relationships are based. This is a critical rule. The Achilles’ heel to this rule is premarital sex. One of the ways to learn and apply this rule is to ask a lot of questions throughout the dating meeting.

Rule 4: Be Prepared To Discuss Differences

It is not all the time that your ability to communicate or obey rules would give you a smooth ride in a dating relationship. There are times that communication breaks down even between two people who may have thought that all is going well with their relationship. During those stormy seasons in a growing relationship, the ability to calmly discuss the differences is very helpful. Sometimes it is the only security for the relationship to continue. To be able to work through these rough waters of relationship, both partners should be willing to put all the cards on the table and discuss their differences with respect for each other’s boundaries and individuality.

Rule 5: Nurture Your Relationship

Every dating relationship and indeed all relationships, whether business, social, intimate and even the ultimate, marriage, need to be nurtured to keep going. Constant appreciation, value, consideration, reciprocity and thoughtfulness all help in showing each partner that he/she is cherished and valued and gives them a feeling that they have a place in your life. It must be stated though that these does not include sexual favors. In fact, premarital sex would harm the relationship badly.

Rule 6: Avoid Premarital Sex

There many reasons why you should avoid premarital sex. If that does not appeal to you, it would be wise to note that it is a breaking of the rule of the game of dating to have sexual intercourse during dating. The only time sexual intercourse is acceptable in human relationships is in lawful and legal wedlock. Premarital sex would take away the opportunity to build friendship and trust which are critical for the future development of the relationship to courtship and marriage. Premarital sex scuttles the ability of couples to learn and apply effective communication.

Rule 7: Ask The Most Important Questions On The First Date

This is critical especially if you are dating for the purpose of marriage. Some people believe it would have been better if the critical questions like family finance, how many children, extended family, demographics, sex, religion, etc, should be asked after the dating relationship has advanced far and may be into courtship. On the contrary, it best to trash the thorny issues first. If for example you are dating for marriage, is there any reason to waste several months with a man or woman whose financial plan, religion, demographics, number of children, sex and extended family ideas are at variance with yours. You can trash these issues on the first date and that would help you know whether you should see the person again.

Don’t Judge Me Part 2

Yesterday we left off where Alice was in a dilemma as to whether to tell Jeffrey about her recent visit to the doctor and if she would end up canceling her wedding, losing Jeffery or just slipping away and keeping her deep dark secret to herself.

Today, it’s raining and everything appears to be so gray.  Yesterday I had a beautiful life.  I was on top of the world.  Today, I feel like someone has pulled my life from under me and I don’t know which way to turn.  No matter what happens, I have to take control of this situation.

It’s 6:00 pm and Jeffery just arrived home.  How’s my favorite girl?  I missed you so much today.  Listen, I spoke to my mom and she tells me that she can’t wait to get here.  She wants to arrive early so she can help with all the planning and hopefully take some of the weight off of your mom.  That’s great replied Alice, I’m really looking forward to finally meeting her.  Jeffery, I have to talk to you about something that’s really urgent.  What is it Alice, replied Jeffery, tell me.  Jeffery, I’m HIV positive.  Jeffery almost fell off his feet, what did you say?  I said, I’m HIV positive, replied Alice.  Who told you that?  How do you know?  I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup and since we were getting married I decided to have a full checkup done and this is what they found.  Oh my God, Alice, I can’t believe it, replied Jeffery.   Stop right there, I don’t know how this happened, I’ve never cheated on you and I don’t know where this came from.  I went over it again and again in my mind and I still don’t know what happened.  I feel like God is punishing me for my life before.

All of a sudden, Jeffery got real quite.  Alice I’m sorry, he said.  Sorry, sorry for what? She asked, I’m the one that’s made our life a disaster.  No, it’s not you, it was never you.  It was me.  All of sudden Alice looked up with surprise, you, Jeffery what are you saying.  Jeffery held his head down, to ashamed to look into her eyes.   I mean, I cheated on you and I didn’t tell you and the one time I cheated, I picked up the disease from her.  So you see, it was never you, it was me.  Alice stopped right in her tracks, what are you saying, you mean, I’ve put my life through hell over the past week and it wasn’t even my fault.  Why didn’t you tell me Jeffery?  I couldn’t, I mean, I don’t know why.  I tried to tell you over and over again but you were always too busy to listen, he replied.  So you gave me the disease? She asked.   I had an affair and I’m sorry, I made a mistake. A mistake that will follow me for the rest of my life and I don’t know how to fix it.  You should have started by telling me.   That would have been a start, she replied.  I was hoping it would just go away, replied Jeffery.  So where is she now?  Are you still seeing her?  Asked Alice.  No, Jeffrey replied.  She was a one night stand.  A one night stand that brought death to our family, replied Alice.  So, what do we do from here?  She asked.   How did you keep an issue like that a secret, didn’t it bother you, weren’t you afraid you would hurt me?  Asked Alice. What you want from me, Jeffery replied.  It’s just one of those things that happened.  A part of life, relied Jeffery.

In my opinion, it sounds like Jeffery is acting an asshole.  If I were Alice, I’d tell him to pack his sh…t, and go.  But what do you do?  Are there really any right answers?   Let’s talk about this….

So how do you think this story should end?  Should Alice pretend that nothing is wrong?  Should she still marry Jeffery?  He cheated on her, can she ever trust him again?  What would you do?  We’d love to hear your comments on this.  And when you get a chance, please check out our blog at:

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Keep Bloggin my friends.  We want to stay in touch with you.  Until the next time.

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Sex & Love …The New Rules

No sex until the third date?  What?
Living together before marriage….Maybe? 

The world has changed.  Thirty years ago, living together before marriage was a little taboo.  You wouldn’t dare admit to having sex before marriage.  What has the society we live in today turned into?  I’ve heard quite a few woman say, I’m not sleeping with a man until he marries me or from the words of “Beyoncé, Put a Ring on it”, you might be waiting a long time, if you’re waiting for your mate to marry you.  There was a time when it was said that shacking up is bad for a relationship.  The old why buy the cow when you can get the milk FREE has officially been put out to pasture.  According to the most recent findings from the National Center for Health Statistics, a cohabiting couple has the same chances at a happy marriage as a pair who don’t share an address before tying the knot.  “Couples just need to be honest about why they’re deciding to move in together, “says Bill Cloke, Ph.D., author of Happy Together: Creating a Lifetime of Connection, Commitment, and Intimacy. “Is it a test run to see if the relationship is a good fit, with the option to bail if it isn’t?  That’s a failing proposition from the get-go.”  Nor should you and your mate shack up to save money or because a roommate has moved out.  The grown-up way to play house:  Make an emotional commitment first.  Discuss your future together to make sure this move is a stepping stone and not some sort of temporary or circumstantial solution, says Cloke. 

A no-strings shag can never turn into something meaningful.  Mr. Tonight could very well become Mr. Right:  A recent study showed that casual sex sometimes evolves into a committed relationship.  How do you boost the odds that your fling will turn into something more serious?  Reset the pace.  Despite how intimate your first date was, resist the temptation to see him every day and sleep over every time you hang out.  “It takes time for a relationship to become real, and if you see him constantly and keep it all about sex, you create only a false sense of closeness. 

Never go to bed angry.  This I can swear by.  It’s a widely held belief that if you don’t troubleshoot a tiff immediately, the unresolved conflict will fester overnight.  There is a saying that “Penciled – in passion can be steamier than a random romp.”  The truth is, most couples don’t see eye to eye when they’re angry, so the chances of successfully resolving a dispute when you still have smoke coming out of your ears is slim.  The answer: Sleep on it, but commit to work it out in the light of day. “When you hold on to anger for a reasonable amount of time before expressing it, you have time to process your feelings and gain mastery over them.”

Don’t talk about money matters unless you’re married.  It’s no surprise that people try to avoid conversations about cash-experts say money is one of the top three hot-button issues for couples.  But it’s important to find out if you’re on the same page financially before you get hitched.  “If you are a committed couple and you don’t talk (or fight, albeit respectfully) about money issues while you’re dating, there will be a “flight “at some point-a potential splitting-up over these issues, “says Cloke. 

There’s no need to bring up your 401 (k) on the first date, but you should definitely disclose whatever financial baggage you’re bringing into the relationship before things get serious.  Whether you’re saddled with serious student loans or you’re regularly change your phone number to avoid the good folks at MasterCard, come clean – and encourage your mate to do the same.   It’s important to be honest with each other.  How you spend and save as a couple will affect not only your daily lifestyle but also the plans you’re able to make for the future. 

So what are your thoughts on this?  Send us your comments, we’d love to hear from you.  I have to ask this one question, does your mate know exactly how much money you earn?  Is it a secret?  Let us know your thoughts on the subject.  Until the next time.  I’ll be Bloggin at yea…..

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Love on a 3 Way Street

Is your mate cheating?  There are sure ways to find out.  Some of us just don’t want to know because we’ve worked so hard to have a relationship and the thought of someone breaking that up is over whelming.  We try our best to believe in each other, to trust one another.  But sometimes, trust is not enough.  Which brings me to the story of Marc and Ellen.  Marc and Ellen are very close friends of mine.  I’ve known them both for over 20 years.  They seemed like the perfect couple if there is such a thing but Ellen has been acting a bit strange lately and I really couldn’t figure out why.  I try to stay out of folks business but you know me, a secret is not a secret unless you can tell somebody so here I go again.
Marc and Ellen have never had kids which I’m glad because some people were not meant to be parents.   Anyway, like I said, I’ve known this couple for a few years but I’ve noticed another women has been hanging around with them.  Now I don’t know this other woman and I do not have a clue where this women came from but I do know every time I pop in to see Ellen, she’s there.  No matter what time of day I go by, she’s there.  Finally Ellen told me who she was.  Her name is Julia and she came from Canada.  Now, here’s the weird part, she not related to either of them, she’s just a friend.  So I said to Ellen, how did you meet this Julia, and she replied, she came through the mail.  Through the mail, I asked, you mean like a special delivery and I started to laugh.  I could tell by the look in Ellen’s eyes that she was serious so I grabbed my composure and asked the question again.  So, tell me about this mail order thing.  Julia is a mail order mate, she replied.  I was stunned from shock so I asked, what the hell are you talking about?  What is a mail order mate, I asked again.  Well, she replied, Marc brought her into our relationship to strengthen our marriage.  To do what, I asked, are you crazy?  No, as a matter of fact, I’m not, she replied. We do everything together.  We live together, we love together, work together, everything together.  Oh ok, I see.  My marriage has never been stronger, replied Ellen.  Marc comes home every night now, we spend time together, and we even go to bed together.  Everything is out in the open now and I don’t have to worry if he’s cheating on me.  We don’t have any secrets between us.

I have to tell you, I was shocked.  I never dreamed in a million years, one of my dearest friends was living a perverse life.  She seemed to be happy.  I don’t know if I could handle this type of situation but to my friend Ellen, whatever Trips your Trigger!  What do you guys think?  Could you share your mate with someone else knowingly?  How far would you go?  Your comments are welcome.  We’d love to hear from you.

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