Love for One or Love for All?

3DMainBookWell, I guess that really is the question right? We’ve all seen movies like The Notebook or my all time favorite Titanic — even though it had a very sad ending nonetheless it’s a love story. Love is powerful so powerful that it really does affect your emotions from being really happy one moment to sad the next. It seems like each year the love I have for my husband gets stronger by the year, by the day, or better yet by the hour. See that’s the thing I personally love for one and then I love for all so there are no sides.

Let me explain. I have been in love since I was a teenage girl with my husband for a very long time. I have loved all my life. There’s a slight difference of course. I remember listening to those old soft jams late at night that made my heart melt. I’m what they call the hopeless romantic. I believe one can be happy if he/she is in love. I’m not saying that you can’t fall in love over and over again, I actually hear you can but there’s always that one special guy/girl that takes your breath away. Now the downfall is, just as much as you love them you could hate them just the same.

That’s where the power of love comes in many shapes of emotions. You know how one day you’re in a really good mood but then one little thing could turn your smile into a frown? Love works just the same. Think about that night you got so angry at your spouse, or boyfriend, girlfriend, etc and you said the most meanest thing ever. Whoa now, how could you say you love that person so much but yet you hit it, right where it hurts. Well, there it goes again the shapes of emotions. Some days you will feel head over heals and other days you’d actually feel sad or distant but that doesn’t mean that you’re not in love anymore.

111378Now when you love for all you’re loving everything about your life. Your family, your friends, your accomplishments, your favorite TV show, etc. But just like being in love you will go through the shapes of emotions and some day you may hate those things. Love isn’t something you just say and go on about your day. Say it to yourself one evening while sipping on your favorite beverage and watch how it just rolls out of your tongue and the feeling you get when you say it. Everyone wants to be loved, and be in love as well. The point is, there are going to be days where you want to give up and sadly throw it all away.

But you should never take advantage of the power of love because love is a part of life. I don’t know maybe one day you decide to give up because your ego got in the way or you’ve fallen in love with someone else. Or sadly maybe the other half fell out of love with you — hey it happens. You just have to continue living life and loving all around you because without love you may be lost. Remember this saying by Alfred Lord Tennyson:

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
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Dating and Relationships: Why Didn’t He Call?

It’s Saturday night, you’re out with a few friends and unexpectedly you meet a handsome stranger. You end up spending most of the evening flirting, drinking, laughing, talking &adoreebook dancing. At the end of the night, he asks you for your number as he say’s he would like to take you out for dinner.

As you get into the cab feeling ever so elated, you mentally press rewind and start replaying the evening in the back of your mind. You break out in an uncontrollable grin, despite the fact that your new pair of heels have left your feet sore and it’s 5.00am. Your thoughts are then rudely interrupted with the sound of a text alert. As you reach in your handbag, you silently wish for it to be him. YES! It’s him, telling you how much he enjoyed your company and will call you later on… OH YES, ISN’T LIFE GREAT!

Sunday afternoon – hmmm no phone call, he’s probably sleeping, it was a late night, I’m sure he’ll call tonight… Sunday evening – I know he has a pretty early start with his job, so in between nursing a hangover and sorting himself out for work, he will probably leave it for tomorrow. Monday evening – may be he’s playing it cool, he doesn’t want to come across too keen, guys are like that, aren’t they? Tuesday evening – Why hasn’t he called? He said he liked me and wanted to take me out for dinner. Why did he say all of this, if he was not interested?

For all you guys reading this, it’s true, this is what most women who you’ve said you would call, go through. Whilst it may just have been a polite gesture on your part, or a spontaneous request, by not calling you hurt someone’s feelings. If you think this is OTT, just think of those times when you have plucked up the courage to approach a woman, after you think she has been giving you signals, just to be outright rejected. If you’re smirking thinking, well now she knows how it feels, two wrongs don’t make a right!

And guys in case you’re thinking, well she’s got my number, why doesn’t she just call me? Firstly, you asked for the number, so the onus is on you to follow up. Secondly, you said you were going to call, if a woman then chooses to call, there’s a good chance you’re going to think she’s overly keen or just desperate. And thirdly, women also have pride. But let’s be honest here, without the chase your interest is going to wane anyway, isn’t it?

So ladies why hasn’t he called? Often, when guys ask you for your number, at that precise moment he intends to use it. After that moment has literally passed, a new game comes into play. The next morning he will mull over it, questioning whether he had his beer goggles on? How well he connected with you – does he see any long term potential, or is it best left as a night of fun? Is he ready to, or can he even be bothered to, have a relationship? And the list could go on. But in a nutshell, if he hasn’t called you within 72 hours, he’s just not interested. It doesn’t matter how busy a guy is, if he genuinely likes you, he will find the time to contact you.

For arguments sake, let’s reverse the tables for a moment. Guys imagine that you meet someone at a singles event, or in a bar and you really like her. You spend most of the evening with her, and at the end of the night you ask her for her number. She insists on taking yours and says she will call you. How does it make you feel, when that call does not come? If you put your male ego aside, part of you will probably be disappointed and you may move on quickly. On the other hand, depending on how much you liked her, in your ‘male-way’ you will pretty much go through the same motions, as women do.

Thus, the moral of this story is that we are all adults. If it is just a ‘one evening thing’ then leave it at that. If you’re not going to make that call, please don’t take, or ask for their number!  And that’s all I have to say about that.  In the meantime check us out and please leave us your comments.  We’d love to hear from you.

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My Wants/Your Needs

What does your mate want from you? Have you ever stopped to ask yourself that one simple question, what does my mate want from me? Are we really right for each other or is there a hidden agenda that I’m not aware of. Have you ever wondered how does a relationship last for over 30 years? What is the key to an everlasting relationship? I myself wanted to know the answers to these questions so l decided to do some research. I met a lady on the bus, her name was Marian. I could tell she was somewhat stressed and seemed to be in hurry. I managed to get her to warm up to me and she started to talk. She told me she was 63 years old and had 7 children who were all grown and long gone. Now, it was her and her husband. She called him, Henry. I said to her, so Marian since you have no kids at home and you and your husband are finally alone, what Is your exciting highlite of the day. You must go out a lot since it’s just the two of you right? She looked at me with saddened eyes and said no. I have to get home and prepare dinner before he gets home because if I don’t have it ready, he’ll be angry and he won’t speak to me for a week or maybe longer. I said, a week. You mean to tell me that if you don’t have your husband’s dinner on the table when he walks in the door, he’ll punish you by not speaking to you for a whole week. I couldn’t believe it. I was dumbfounded. The nerve of him. She replied by saying, its ok, I must deserve it. He works hard and he’s a good provider so the least I can do is have his dinner on the table when he gets home. I asked Marian, do you drive? Oh my josh no, Henry doesn’t feel it’s important for me to drive. I take the bus everywhere I go. It cuts down on the expense of owning two cars. I thought to myself, why does this story sound so unreal, so I decided to dig a little deeper. So Marian, I asked, what time is dinner. It’s usually at 7:00 pm, she replied. Unless Henry has to work overtime, when in that case, he may not make it home at all. Then I’ll see him the following day. Oh, I see. I guess he calls to let you know when he’s not coming home. No, she replied. We don’t have a phone. Henry feels that it’s evil to have a telephone. If there’s a way for Satan to destroy your relationship, the telephone is at the top of the list. But suppose there’s an emergency, how would you call someone. My neighbor Lucara has a phone and she says I’m always welcome to use it. Wow! You guys really have a magnificent relationship don’t you. Marian replied, yes, we do. Henry and I’ve been married for over 47 years. I’ve never cheated on him and I’ve never even had the desire to. He’s good to me. So, I have to ask myself, it that all it takes. She spoke so highly of a man that she’s been married to for over 47 years that sounds like to me, he’s very controlling, probably has a mistress on the side and thinks of her as more of a pet than a wife. But who am I to judge. Nobody wants to be alone, but how much do we have to sacrifice to have a so called relationship.
So tell me friends, what’s your opinion on this? Would you give up yourself to have a mate? Are you so afraid of being alone that you’ll settle for anything? If you’re that lonely, how about some volunteer work, this would keep you busy. Tell us what you think.
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Friends No More

I’d never imagined our friendship would end, and certainly not like this. But on an otherwise ordinary afternoon, a scathing missive arrived from one of my best pals: a litany of my flaws and mistakes, along with my most mortifying secrets, amassed over the years we’d known each other and thrown back in my face. What prompted this vicious e-mail attack? A friendship I’d struck up with someone my close friend-unbeknownst to me-had a brutal grudge against. For day’s afterward, I walked around dazed, alternating between grief over our falling-out and growing anger at her cruel words. But I didn’t realize which of the two feelings was stronger until my phone rang weeks later. Sounding humbled, she asked if we could talk. I considered her request for all of three seconds, and then hung up.
Getting Your Grudge On
In a perfect world, everyone would be high-minded enough to move past petty pals, scheming coworkers, and lying’, cheating, mates. But when someone you love and trust hurts you, it’s like taking a sucker punch to your emotional six-pack.
Withholding forgiveness is a way of doling out justice and letting the other person know that his or her bad behavior has repercussions. But consider this: Forgiveness isn’t just good for your soul, it can be good for your health too. According to a recent study that appeared in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, people with more forgiving personalities tend to have less stress, lower blood pressure and better sleep quality. Less depression, and stronger immune systems to boot. Maybe that’s because carrying a grudge is kind of like walking around with a 20 pound weight on your shoulders: The only person who is really being punished is you. “People think forgiveness is an act of kindness toward another person,” explains Marina Cantacuzino, founder and director of The Forgiveness Project, an international organization that is devoted to fostering a culture of no retribution. “But it isn’t -you do it primarily for yourself.”
The Slow Burn Bygone
Even so, that doesn’t mean it’s always smart to wipe the slate clean. “Painful events happen to all of us, and we can become attached to the pain and unable to move past it.’ Says Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger. “But letting go of the corrosive fury that’s ruining an otherwise good day does not mean you have to forgive the person who harmed you or excuse their behavior. Sure, you need to move forward, but you don’t need to forgive someone to heal.”
Even if you’re willing to forgive the other person, you can’t truly start fresh unless you confront them.
Who deserves a pardon? You have to ask yourself, what was the motive of the other person and why did they wrong you. Did they do it to hurt or embarrass you or were they acting more out of cluelessness or weakness. Take a friend who reveals confidence, did she blurt out your indiscretion because she had one too many appletinis? Or did she do it intentionally to stir up some drama?
Nobody wants to get hurt but sometimes it just happens. You have to learn to get past the hurt and move forward if you want to continue to be friends.

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