Love, Dating and Marriage

For one who has spent quite a number of years on the love, dating and marriage scene, I feel qualified to make certain bold statements. Without apology, it is quite clear that every normal human being desires to be happy. However, let the truth be told to those who care to listen that being married or being single has nothing to do with being happy. Deciding to get married because you are presently unhappy may open you up to a rude shock! Conversely, deciding to stay single because many marriages these days don’t last may leave you equally unfulfilled and unhappy. Being happy is a choice, remaining single is a choice and being married is a choice. You can CHOOSE to be the way you want to be. What you choose is what you become! It is this basic lack of understanding that has precipitated the numerous cries of “help save my marriage” that is noised all over the place these days.111474

The western world has the greatest number of relationship experts, counselors, books, and materials yet holds the record of having the highest divorce rate, most number of single parents, and a greater ratio of single women of marriageable age to married than at any other period in time. Furthermore, there is a consistent move away from the heterosexual relationship and an emphasis on same sex relationship/marriage.

In my extensive study and research on the internet, one cannot but wonder if the aim of these so-called experts giving advice in love relationship is to mislead the vulnerable, gullible and unsuspecting consumers of their products and services and sabotage their relationships. One of the tenets of capitalism is to find out what the consumers want, produce, sell and make a killing out of it. The direct consequence of this phenomenon on the relationship scene is that in order to produce best-sellers, experts have continued to churn out stuff that THE CONSUMERS WANT TO HEAR not the things they NEED TO HEAR!!! No wonder the high rate of relationship failure and a destruction of the marriage and family institutions. It is all a game of numbers, and bountiful sales lead to plenty dollars in the bank. It is this burden to make a positive difference in the lives of people and correct all the false psychological theories that birthed this article

Marriage comes with certain ENJOYMENTS that singles are not afforded. Marriage is an adventure that you are encouraged to explore. However, with the enjoyments come the responsibilities. Note that you may enjoy without being happy. You may enjoy the financial security that comes with being married or the sex, the status, the respect you are given for being a married woman/man, the joy of parenthood e.t.c.   No wonder some stay married despite the fact that they are not really happy. The reason is that there are some aspects of the relationship that they are enjoying and to them the benefit of staying married outweighs the divorce/single life option.

UNDERSTANDING THE RESPONSIBILITIES

The male man (man) and the female man (woman) are both human beings but with different roles. In a relationship, two is attempting to become one. They must thus understand that to operate as ONE TEAM each must understand and operate in its unique role. The male becomes the HEAD of the team while the female becomes the HEART of the team. The man is called to lead while the woman is called to help. The heart is the organ to love with while the head is the organ to think, reason and coordinate with. As the heart, it is easy for the woman to be tender and loving but she has to learn to yield, submit to the leadership of her man and to complement and not compete with him. As the head, it is easy for the man to lead and co-ordinate and take the initiative but he must learn to be tender and loving always responding to the heart deep advice and nudging of the woman. This is the perfect team! Anything other than this arrangement is CONFUSION!!

The woman in a relationship may be intelligent and richer than the man but she has to step aside and let him take charge because that is his calling. To illustrate this: Take for example a car. All the occupants of the car may know how to drive. But to get them to their mutual destination only one of them will have to drive. This is because there is only one driver seat. Others may give their opinion as to where and when to turn in order to get them to where they are going but the decision and the responsibility lie in the hands of the driver. That is the man’s role. The moment each person in the relationship understands that marriage comes with enjoyments as well as responsibilities and each person is willing to accept and carry out their responsibilities, true happiness will be the result. This I believe is the best relationship love advice that can be offered at such a difficult time on the relationships scene.

 

Until the next time, here’s bloggin at you kid..  Scotts Link!!110889

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce And Rekindle The Love

Many couples are desperate and in need of help and information on how to save a marriage from divorce and get back that “lovin’ feeling” that brought them together in the first place. Too many marriages today have either ended in divorce, are in the process of divorce, or unknowingly headed for divorce. It’s a brutal statistic but 50% of marriages today will be destroyed through a divorce, and that is a conservative estimate!  111359

The great news in all this is that divorce does not need to be the ultimate outcome of your relationship woes. There is so much you can do, right now, to stop the negative momentum in your relationship that is quickly pushing your marriage towards the divorce statistics.

If you are interested and open to learning how to save a marriage from divorce I think you will find this article helpful, and I truly hope that you will take what I share and apply it immediately to your relationship. Time is of the essence when your marriage is on the line. Truth is if you are at this stage and worried about divorce you have already put things off too long. So I challenge and encourage you to read this and then start applying what you learn this very night!

Before you can save your marriage you need to isolate the problems that are threatening it. You can’t fight an enemy you can’t see. If your marriage is in trouble there are a few, tell-tale, signs that you need to be aware of and then confront. They include:

1. A lack of desire to be together – This is a huge red flag and needs to be dealt with yesterday! If you and your partner find it painful to “hang-out” and find that you would rather do “whatever” either on your own or with a friend, then very likely there is a serious problem with your relationship. While it is true that everyone is busy, if your daily activities, work commitments, time spent with children and friends so dominate your schedule that there is no time left for your spouse, there is serious trouble brewing and this issue needs to be addressed. If spending time together is not a top priority, then you need to stop everything and re-prioritize your life. How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love has to include quality time spent together with your spouse!

2. A feeling of resentment – If there is an underlying sense of resentment, (towards your spouse or vice-versa), or perhaps it is even outright, in your face resentment, then you need to be alarmed! This is not a healthy aspect for any marriage and will eat away at your relationship like rust on steroids! If resentment is causing you to feel that you don’t even like your spouse anymore, then your marriage is in a major crisis and you need to take immediate action.

3. A lack or void of intimacy – If you and your spouse have not been intimate for a long time, and it doesn’t seem to bother you, then this is another red flag that should cause you to be concerned. If you are really interested in how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, than you have to take a serious look at the intimacy factor in your relationship. While a lack of sex does not mean a marriage is on the rocks, a total lack of intimacy is a good indicator that this is the case. Intimacy is more complex than just sex and includes enjoyment and fulfillment from tender moments spent together, through hugging, kissing, snuggling and just being together physically.

4. An inability to communicate – Another indicator that your marriage is in trouble and may be headed for divorce is when you and your spouse don’t talk or “discuss” things normally anymore; you merely argue and disagree about everything. If conversation has become a chore and it seems easier to just not talk than have to deal with the emotional stress and anxiety you feel after verbal interaction, then now is the time to sit up, take notice and make some serious changes. Open, healthy communication is an absolute essential part of a strong, fulfilling marriage. You will not discover how to save your marriage from divorce until you first discover how to communicate properly and lovingly.

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Requires A Game Plan:

OK, now that we have identified some definite red flags and you realize that your relationship troubles may be more serious than you thought, we need to look at positive measures to take now to bring healing and restoration. The following suggestions will answer, in part, the nagging question of, “How to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love again”:

* The first step to bringing healing into your marriage is to open up the lines of communication. You need to take the time to talk. This won’t happen on its own, you must make the time. This needs to be a two-way dialogue where you and your spouse open up to one another and share your concerns. Be honest and address the problems, openly sharing your ideas and thoughts. You and your spouse deserve to know how each other are feeling. Then, together, establish helpful and reasonable solutions.

* Be sure to stay calm and never raise your voice during this time of reconnecting and communicating. Go out of your way to be polite and respectful in your communication skills. The tone of voice and body language can speak volumes, so be aware of both. At all costs, avoid accusations and finger-pointing. If your spouse feels threatened it will be “game-over”. After you have shared your concerns listen carefully, and intently, to your partner’s response and then be proactive in working with her/him in coming up with restorative resolutions of how to save a marriage from divorce.

* If you have success in communicating then continue spending time together working things out. No matter how busy “life” gets couples that want to stay together must find the time to shut out the rest of the world and be alone. You will each, most likely, have to reduce your obligations, but it will be so worth it. Learning how to save a marriage from divorce will involve retraining yourselves and rethinking your priorities.

* Plan a date night! It seems so cliche but it is effective. Even if it only happens once or twice a month, you will find this, alone time, to be extraordinarily advantageous to restoring your relationship. It will enable you to reconnect with one another, helping you to identify and appreciate each other all over again and give you a sense of just how valuable your marriage really is. Do not underestimate the value of this step in your plan of how to save a marriage from divorce.adoreebook

The key of how to save a marriage from divorce and fall back in love, is to first and foremost recognize that there is a serious problem and then become immediately proactive in addressing the issues and working together to find, and implement, solutions that will bring reconciliation and healing to the relationship. There is no better time than the present to begin, and time is of the essence…

All the best!

Fix Your Sexless Marriage – Live a Life With Passion

Is it possible to fix your sexless marriage? I think so. I see couples that are very happy with their relationships and some of them are well into their 80′s. You have to want the passion to be there and you have to work at it to keep it there. As women, we start to doubt ourselves. We wake up one day and look in the mirror and start to think it’s all over. You have to face the fact that time moves and our bodies move with time. You don’t have to give up on passion because you’ve reached the 50 mark. There are ways to embrace the change that will benefit the both of you. I read an article recently that states according to a recent survey, about 15% of couples live in what is defined as a sexless marriage, meaning that they have sex 10 times a year or less. This means that what once was considered a taboo topic cannot remain one for long. This problem has gotten too big for it to remain so secretive.111350

The worse thing about sexless marriages is that most people are too ashamed that this has happened to them to take any action. They simply give up on love and passion and do nothing to mend their relationship. It does not have to be this way. You can make your sex life young and exciting. I for one, do not want to grow old and lifeless. When he touches me, I want to feel the fire. You have to be able to talk about the subject. Tell your mate what feels good to you. Don’t pull away when he trys to kiss you, or when he or she trys to hold your hand. This is wrong. You can’t give up on love. There’s a great chance that you can fix your sexless marriage if you decide to. It depends on how much effort you’re willing to put into your marriage and how open you are to new ideas and the fact that this is a problem which has to be treated for you to be happy.

In all likelihood, your marriage didn’t become sexless due to a lack of love. You and your partner likely still love each other but over the years something has wilted between you. It happens to a lot of couples and you can revive the passion.

The first thing you need to do is to believe it’s possible to fix your sexless marriage. The second thing is to take a long look at your life and see where you can take steps to improve the interaction between you and your spouse.

The third thing is to make your life more exciting and fun. The fourth is to spend high quality time together as a couple. The fifth is to be able to accept temporary rejection and slowly rebuild the intimacy you lost.

It can be done and it’s in your hands. Never give up on love.  Please send us your comments.

We’d love to hear what’s on your mind.

In the meantime, keep bloggin and I’ll see you at the top!!!

Scotts Link!111417

3 Tips For Reigniting the Spark in Your Love Relationship Or Marriage

A comic wryly jokes about the pitfalls of being in a long-term relationship. He observes that the “adorable and still in love” elderly couple seen walking closely arm-in-arm in the park are actually merely leaning on one another so that they don’t fall down.

According to this comic, there is no such thing as passion in a relationship once you’ve been together for years and years– your body starts to go and you literally need one another just to get around.

This comedian’s jokes got laughs from his audience, but we simply do not agree.111474

When the spark goes out in your love relationship or marriage, it is no laughing matter.

When the spark goes out in your love relationship or marriage, it’s not inevitable either.

Julia looks with envy at her married friends. She has had several serious relationships, but none of them have been serious enough to take that step to get married.

Sometimes it’s the guy who seems unable to take their commitment to a deeper level. And sometimes it’s Julia who becomes bored or dissatisfied with her partner. She ends up breaking it off because she can’t envision herself spending the rest of her life with this man.

Still, Julia hopes that one day she will find the right guy and get married. She’d like to be in a long-term relationship that is filled with passion and stays that way. But she’s also a realist. She knows that isn’t what normally happens.

You might already be married or in a committed relationship. You might feel a lack of romance or passion with your partner but, just like Julia and the comic above, you believe that it’s natural and even unavoidable.

We’re here to help you question that belief. We’re here to tell you that you don’t have to settle for a spark-less relationship.

The excitement that you crave with your partner can be re-ignited, sustained and even expanded upon.

Here are 3 tips to get you started….

#1) Create an expectation that you and your mate will be connected and passionate as long as you are together.

Many people carry around the expectation that there is a “honeymoon” phase in every relationship (even those that don’t involve marriage) and, after that, it’s all downhill. You and your partner settle into sharing life together and there simply isn’t time or energy for passion.

If you look around, you might very well find that others in long-term relationships seem to go through this type of trajectory. As the couple gets to know one another, it’s all cards, flowers and romance. After a time, however, the flame dwindles and sometimes even dies out.

Part of the problem here is that people expect that after a certain number of years or after a particular age, you cannot share sensuality, red hot love or an enlivening closeness with one another– it seems nearly impossible.

If you hold such beliefs and expectations, we recommend that you think again. Ask yourself this: Is it true that every single couple who has ever been together has lost their spark at a certain point in their relationship?

If you put the question in that way, you’ll undoubtedly determine that you can’t know this with any certainty.

The truth is, there are scores of couples all across the globe who do enjoy that kind of passion. You might even know people who have created such a relationship.

And we’d bet that none of those couples hold an expectation that it is “natural” for the spark to go out.

The great news is this: You can change your expectations. It requires you become aware of the way you tend to think and believe. It also requires you to introduce new thoughts and beliefs into your consciousness.

#2) Find your inner spark and keep feeding your spirit.
Julia has begun to shift her expectations about passion in love relationships and especially marriages. She’s even found a few role model couples that have given her hope that excitement can stay alive in long-term relationships.

While Julia is currently single, she is finding ways to keep her own inner spark flourishing. She’s starting to realize that it’s not the responsibility of her future partner to keep her sense of spirit and spark strong– that’s her job– regardless of her relationship status.

Don’t focus on all of the ways that your partner seemingly fails to ignite a spark in your relationship. Instead, take responsibility for figuring out what helps your heart sing and what makes you feel grateful to be alive, walking around as the person you are.

When two people who are tending and feeding their own inner sparks come together in a relationship, the passion will grow even bigger!

Your spirit might feel nourished and fed as you engage in a hobby, volunteer activity or other activity. It might not be an activity, but a new way of thinking and caring for yourself that helps you to feel more alive.

Whatever works for you, find it and keep on doing it!

#3) Share that sense of passion with your mate.
Don’t worry that your partner will feel threatened as you take a pottery class, write poetry or even go off to play a round of golf.

You can set an example for him or her by making yourself responsible for keeping your inner spark alive. You will also most likely come to interactions with our mate feeling more satisfied, open and relaxed.

But don’t cut out your mate either.

Find ways to share the sense of passion that you feel when you do whatever it is that you do that helps to nourish your spirit.

Even if your partner has no interest in the pottery, the poetry or the golf, he or she can still join in with you. Perhaps your excitement about what you do is similar to his or her excitement about another activity.

Stay open and focus mainly on how much more alive you each feel when you’re tending to your own inner sparks. Honor one another and look for places where your possibly different interests overlap and come together.

Celebrate this and allow connection as both of your passionate feelings converge.

You’re never too old and it’s never too late to re-ignite the spark. Do it for your relationship and do it for yourself.

And that’s all I have to say about that.  Tell us what you think.  We’d love to hear your comments.

Until the next time, here’s bloggin at you….  Scotts Link!

Dating, Romance, Love and Marriage – Are These Still in Fashion?

“Where would we all be without romance?”

Almost anyone may say. “Romance is the spice of life,” goes another one that seems quite accurate. “Love is a many-splendored thing it’s the April rose that only blooms in the early spring..”111378 so goes a song by Frank Sinatra and adopted as a theme song by almost any romantic love couple from the 1940’s onwards. However, the great William Shakespeare has this to say, “Men have died and worms have eaten them… but not for love.”

Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames.” enthused Thomas Moore in a cynic mood about romance, love and marriage. Such a lot of effort and ink has been drained in writing about various emotions and feelings involving dating, romance, love and marriage. Many daydream happily and contentedly because of these and many also cried. Courtship, love and marriage are universal concepts. These concepts exist on people’s culture, animals and plants, even in our imagined extraterrestrials, practically everything that live and breathe. They are integral part of our culture. Single red rose flowerIn a society, the basic unit is the family. What will a family be without a marriage of two individuals? How will two individuals marry if there is no romance and love? How will two individuals find romance and love if they do not go out to date, be with each other and learn more about each other? It is truly a chain of concepts.

One does not exist without the other. There are all sorts of scientific, Christian, chemical, biological, and etc. views that explains and expands about them. They can be subjective or objective. They can be an issue of religion and an issue of modern science. The main fact is they exist and they have been in fashion as long as everyone of us can remember. These concepts have been in fashion ever since the oldest human on earth in the Guinness Book of Records was born. With regards to how these concepts come to exist. There are various warring notions about these. Popular Christian belief is that God loves us that is why He made a way for people to feel love because the powerful feelings of love will be the one to wash away the mortal sins of the people. Love will ultimately be the one to bring peace. Dating, romance and marriage all have their versions in the Holy Bible. Would you remember the love stories in the Bible? Even if people have different cultures and customs, Christian people always have believed in love.

Meanwhile, the Greek and Roman mythologies also have their versions about dating, romance, love and marriage that until now affect the modern people. Scientifically, if you would follow Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, we will find that the basis of why the universe and all the things that exist in it is because of nature. With regards to practices, there are many spanning from ancient times until now. During the ancient times, most of the marriages were through capture and not by choice. Meanwhile, the arranged marriages and forced love came up when people began business relationships, borne out of the need for money, property, or political alliances. The Medieval and Victorian eras saw the birth of romantic concepts as a big factor in love and marriage. These eras were also the birth of the dating activities when men would wine and dine the women. “Medieval Chivalry” and “Victorian Formality” were among the famous terms that would best describe these periods. Along these periods were also the birth of customs, beliefs and popular inclination about people regarding dating, romance, love and marriage.

For example, men are the ones who should be entertaining the women and not the other way around during dates. Eventually, especially in patriarchal cultures, men are the dominant ones. Women are regarded helpless and dependent. Especially during the Victorian era, men were knights in shining armors and women are the damsels in distress. Women are more romantic and prone to loving too much. Men are more reasonable and must be dependable. The concepts about sex and procreation also came into play along with romance and love. Nowadays with the diversity in culture and the significant changes in the society, it is but understandable that the views on dating, romance, love and marriage have changed largely. However, they are still concepts very much in fashion. If not why are there so many things that have these things as topics? And why the Sex and the City craze? The girls in here find havoc in terms of dating, romance, love and marriage in the world of NYC but they have hope. It is a testament that dating, romance, love and marriage are still fashionable. What are your feelings about this?  We’d love to hear your comments.  Do you still believe in old fashion love?

When is the last time your mate did something romantic for you?

Check out this site:  Romance lives here:  htttp://scottlnkdesign.com

Until the next time, here’s bloggin at you kid…stay happy, stay in love. Scotts Link!

Marriage Relationship Advice

I have a few marriage relationship advice tips for you. It seems that when we first fall in love with someone it feels like the love will last forever, and we get married with the idea that love and the chemistry will keep us together noDesireme matter what.  It’s funny how, as we grow older our relationships change but we don’t want to change with our relationships. We start to take things for granted and we stop caring.  Once we stop caring, the relationship starts to fade and then the party’s over.  We have to start to think long-term instead of day by day.  When you find your partner, you have to know in your heart and say to yourself that this one is going to be the last one for the rest of your life.  Treat that relationship with the respect that its going to be around long term and it will last.
Today when about half of all marriages end in divorce, it’s clear that just the love and chemistry alone does not work. So it pays to know more before we get married. But if you’re already married, then what? Well here’s some marriage relationship advice that can help before marriage or after that will keep couples together.

My first marriage relationship advice tip would be –

As time passes in a relationship or marriage couples tend to fall into a routine. Doing the same things, going to the same places. Ask your partner out on a date. Do something new and special together. Try going to the zoo, beach, aquarium or a carnival.

On a date you can get dressed up and look your  best, you’ll have more time alone to communicate and be drawn closer together. A date can help bring a dull or stale relationship out of a rut and bring some life back into it.

Another marriage relationship advice tip would be to ask some things about your partner. Do they want kids? Do they want a career? Do they go to church? And much more. You would be surprised how many couples fail to ask about the most simple of topics before they get married. Then after marriage, they still don’t ask the most important questions.

One of the biggest factors in most couples getting a divorce is they fail to ask one another the right questions. If you fail to sit down with your partner and ask them about your future, sex, religion, finances, and many others you’re going to wind up in nothing but argument after argument.

So my marriage relationship advice is to really get to know each other really well. And never let a day pass without a compliment or praise for your partner. Tell them how wonderful they are. Love and romance them and they will return the favor. It is much easier to love if you are loved.
Constantly support your spouse. Cheer for them, don’t boo them or give them the silent treatment.

In the end as a couple you both need to make it your number 1 priority to get to know each other inside and out before you end in a broken relationship.  And that all I have to say about that.  Be true to yourself.  Happiness is waiting for you.

 

It’s all good!!! So until then, keep bloggin and I’ll see you at the TOP!!!!

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https://scottlnk.wordpress.com

Real Love Versus the Fake Stuff

Do you know the difference between real and fake love?

Just like any counterfeit object or characteristic, it can be tricky to know and identify the real from the fake. Sometimes, even experts can’t tell what is genuine and what is not. The fake stuff resembles the real thing in many aspects. The facade can look exactly like the true article. Hollywood sets with their cardboard exteriors are good examples of that. So when it comes to falling in love, if the object of your affection looks good, sounds reasonable, and seems to feel the same way you do, you may not get it that he or she is not what you think they are. What are the defining characteristics that can signal to you what is real and what is fake? What are the warning signs you need to heed? Essentially, the fake love fades away as soon as the chemistry wears off. But love endures, showing up in the actions and deeds of the two people.

Here are the signs of fake love:111442

1. Time

Fake love, which is chemistry only, lasts anywhere from three weeks to a year and a half and then disappears. Real love loses the immediacy of the chemical rush, but retains chemistry while it grows deeper and calmer. The onset of both kinds of love is marked by obsession. For a period of time, the two people in love cannot think about anything but the other one. They may lose weight, lose sleep, and lose all concept of time. Nothing else exists for them except the other person. When this chemical high wears off, the true picture of the person emerges for them. All of the above involves…time.

2. Projection

Fake love, based primarily on physical intimacy, is what two people assume about each other.  They can’t see future problems. Idealized qualities, lives built on fantasy, and a perfect life together dominates their thoughts. Each one insists that the other one is the greatest person they have ever met. The problem is, they haven’t really MET each other yet. They are relating to their idealized version. When this cyclone of projection ends and the dust settles, the true person emerges. Then they can decide if they are right for each other.

3. Fairy Tales

Counterfeit love feeds off of the stuff of fairy tales. The women in the story want Prince Charming. They will have riches, happiness, love, and all dreams come true. The man in the story, who feels like a frog and may even look like one, is kissed by the princess. He miraculously turns into a handsome, dashing Prince. When two people get together and fall into the chemical cocktail, they unconsciously can fall into this stylized story. Only when the chemicals wear off do they actually see each other. They may like each other, in which case, real love may develop. Or- the chemicals become toxic, the guy goes back to being a frog, and she looks for another prince.

4. The Future

When two people meet and fall into chemistry, they may begin to plan their future together within weeks. Their “real” selves are not talking to each other here – it’s their spiced, fried, scrambled brain that can’t be trusted to make clear decisions. What does REAL love look like? It is able to get past the chemistry phase and into real-time. Fake love involves conflict, drama, and pain, once the chemistry wears off. Real love evolves into service, thought, care, and sincere emotions for the other. Real love is shown in loving acts – over and over – with no one keeping score. Real love responds to the needs of the other, flowing effortlessly from one day to the next.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

We would love to hear your comments, just tell us what you think.  and  while you’re at it, check out these sites.  There are all kinds of solutions for Matters of the Heart.

go to:  http://scottlnkdesign.com    for your favorite love potion.

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For a little passion:  http://designsintuition.com/passion ..this site will blow your mind. Until then, here’s bloggin at you kid!!!! Scotts Link!!

Dating and Relationships: Why Didn’t He Call?

It’s Saturday night, you’re out with a few friends and unexpectedly you meet a handsome stranger. You end up spending most of the evening flirting, drinking, laughing, talking &adoreebook dancing. At the end of the night, he asks you for your number as he say’s he would like to take you out for dinner.

As you get into the cab feeling ever so elated, you mentally press rewind and start replaying the evening in the back of your mind. You break out in an uncontrollable grin, despite the fact that your new pair of heels have left your feet sore and it’s 5.00am. Your thoughts are then rudely interrupted with the sound of a text alert. As you reach in your handbag, you silently wish for it to be him. YES! It’s him, telling you how much he enjoyed your company and will call you later on… OH YES, ISN’T LIFE GREAT!

Sunday afternoon – hmmm no phone call, he’s probably sleeping, it was a late night, I’m sure he’ll call tonight… Sunday evening – I know he has a pretty early start with his job, so in between nursing a hangover and sorting himself out for work, he will probably leave it for tomorrow. Monday evening – may be he’s playing it cool, he doesn’t want to come across too keen, guys are like that, aren’t they? Tuesday evening – Why hasn’t he called? He said he liked me and wanted to take me out for dinner. Why did he say all of this, if he was not interested?

For all you guys reading this, it’s true, this is what most women who you’ve said you would call, go through. Whilst it may just have been a polite gesture on your part, or a spontaneous request, by not calling you hurt someone’s feelings. If you think this is OTT, just think of those times when you have plucked up the courage to approach a woman, after you think she has been giving you signals, just to be outright rejected. If you’re smirking thinking, well now she knows how it feels, two wrongs don’t make a right!

And guys in case you’re thinking, well she’s got my number, why doesn’t she just call me? Firstly, you asked for the number, so the onus is on you to follow up. Secondly, you said you were going to call, if a woman then chooses to call, there’s a good chance you’re going to think she’s overly keen or just desperate. And thirdly, women also have pride. But let’s be honest here, without the chase your interest is going to wane anyway, isn’t it?

So ladies why hasn’t he called? Often, when guys ask you for your number, at that precise moment he intends to use it. After that moment has literally passed, a new game comes into play. The next morning he will mull over it, questioning whether he had his beer goggles on? How well he connected with you – does he see any long term potential, or is it best left as a night of fun? Is he ready to, or can he even be bothered to, have a relationship? And the list could go on. But in a nutshell, if he hasn’t called you within 72 hours, he’s just not interested. It doesn’t matter how busy a guy is, if he genuinely likes you, he will find the time to contact you.

For arguments sake, let’s reverse the tables for a moment. Guys imagine that you meet someone at a singles event, or in a bar and you really like her. You spend most of the evening with her, and at the end of the night you ask her for her number. She insists on taking yours and says she will call you. How does it make you feel, when that call does not come? If you put your male ego aside, part of you will probably be disappointed and you may move on quickly. On the other hand, depending on how much you liked her, in your ‘male-way’ you will pretty much go through the same motions, as women do.

Thus, the moral of this story is that we are all adults. If it is just a ‘one evening thing’ then leave it at that. If you’re not going to make that call, please don’t take, or ask for their number!  And that’s all I have to say about that.  In the meantime check us out and please leave us your comments.  We’d love to hear from you.

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Do Happy Marriages/Relationships Exist?

adoreebookHave you ever wondered how the people in happy marriages do it? Like how do they manage to be loving to their spouse day in and day out, no matter how cranky they are? How is it that these happy couples can put the needs of their significant other before their own needs all the time? Are they selfless? Not to mention trust. Most of us don’t know what it is to be able to fully trust ourselves, let alone another person, but people in happy marriages will tell you that it’s one of the main elements of a good relationship, so how do they manage to balance all of it?

It Is Not a Juggling Act, But Sometimes It Can Feel Like It Is

There are some basic elements of relationships that will allow you to go to the next level, from dating, to engagement, to marriage. It’s pretty unlikely that you would have gotten into a committed relationship with the person you’re married to if you didn’t have some of the essential building blocks for happy marriages at the beginning, so chances are that somewhere along the lines, factors such as mortgage payments, jobs and kids got in the way of the way that the two of you interact, so you’re going to have to bring it back out.

What to Nurture

Yes, there is that word – nurture. You need to work to nurture certain aspects of your relationship so that the two of you can feel that you’re in a solid committed relationship where you really and truly matter to each other. In other words, even though you both know that life would go on without the other one, it wouldn’t be nearly as fabulous. Stop thinking only about what you as an individual can do and start thinking about what you as a couple can do and you might begin to see what makes happy marriages tick.

Remember when you were a kid and you used to want to hang out with your best friend all the time? You did everything together and your parents thought that they had adopted a child. How fun was that? Now, you married your best friend, right? Well, maybe not, but happy marriages all around the world will tell you that life can be like one big “camp out” with your best friend. Start looking for ways to laugh together. Talk about everything. Like what interests them and you individually and you as a couple. The key is to show an interest in what your spouse is interested in and they will reciprocate for you and that’s a friendship.

Don’t forget to make time for intimacy. If your partner sees you make time for them in a completely giving way, not a ‘taking’ way, they will feel loved, not used. This is very important in any happy relationship and you will find all happy marriages have the couple loving one another intimately and with ‘loving respect.’ Building trust and self esteem in each other, will also take you into the land of happier marriages faster than you could realize. When your partner sees that you accept everything about them, they will drop the guarded, fearful behavior and let the real them shine. Remember that happy relationships have their own rhythm and take their own time. Yes, happy marriages do exist. So, from now on, focus on you and your relationship and work on getting yourselves to a state of happiness in your marriage everyday.

New Rules to the Dating Game

404607 There are new rules to the dating game and you have to be ready to play.  Things have changed.  Age is just a number to most of us.  If we meet someone and the rhythm clicks, then it’s a go. The most important thing to remember now is that it’s your time to be happy.  You’ve spent most of your life giving to others so now it is time to give back to yourself. So what do you do?  What is your first approach?  There are tons of dating services, they all seemed to be ranked the same. It’s very hard to pick up the phone and say, I need a date because you don’t know what’s on the other end and you have to be careful what you wish for.  You might just get it.  So are you ready?  What has brought you to this point?  You’re 55 years old and you woke up one day to find that your husband of 30 years has walked out on you for a younger women.  It was so devastating but you’ve managed to get pass that.  You let yourself go for a while because nothing seemed to matter.  You thought that the man you married would be the one and only man in your life.  He’s the only man in the world that knows everything about you.  He knows how you laugh, how you cry, your touch, your smell.  He knows everything about you.  Your most intimate secrets so how do you start all over again getting to know a stranger.  There are so many good qualities in my ex that I could never replace.  So I don’t know if I can even look at another man.  Let alone him putting his rod in me which I’m sure he will expect to happen sooner or later.  I really don’t know how to handle this dating thing.  I pray that God will give me the strength to start over.  I don’t want to be lonely.  I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night to reach over and find my bed cold and empty.  What do I do?  I could just stop and live the rest of my life as a lonely old woman or I could put the past behind me and go on living.  I wished I knew what to do.  I thought that my husband would love me forever.  I didn’t see this coming.  I can’t turn back time but I can wash away a little gray, buy some sexy underwear.  Start taking better care of my body.  The main thing is, I want to feel good about myself for me.  If by chance I do run into someone who is kind and makes me laugh maybe we’ll sit down and have a meaningful conversation.  Then we’ll go from there.  I wonder how many women are facing the same thing I’m facing right now.   What will be the downfall of my life?  There so many things that I have to deal with now, the hot flashes, the night sweats, the irritable mood swings and being alone.  But for now I’m going to get ready for the dating game and checkout what’s available.  When I find something I’ll let you know.  And that’s all I have to say about that.  So what are your comments?  Are you ready for the dating game?  Send me your comments.  We’d love to hear what you have to say.  Maybe we can help each other.  So let’s talk…In the meantime, keep blogging.  Hey check out these sites.  On one of them, they’re giving away a free IPAD just for joining their group so check out the links to find the one.

Later

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